# new-ness! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123 "2002-10-27T17:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/381 "2005-04-30T19:12:09Z")
QUOTE=Improbability] Am I still alive? [/QUOTE] Well, you did just say this, so appently you are. **Atheist Princess** , seeing as how we got here through a hole in time and/or space, that Royal Army may have some trouble getting here. If it was that simple, I would have called upon my mighty Nordic Hord a while ago. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/382 "2005-04-30T21:06:57Z")
:: **Sunspace** peers cautiously out door, where the policeman had run (which explains the odd silence from his direction for the last little while). :: :: Gunships hang in the air over the village. The squcks are surrounded by rings of militamen. Shouts, gunfire, and the sounds of diesel engines from various locations indicate the impending capure of the last of the beasts. Several large trucks bearing caged and tranquilised beasts sit at one side of the square. :: I think things are calming down. :: They look around the pub. Not much time has passed at all, really. The woman who had tried to exit is sitting at a table talking with the bartender. A few other patrons remain. They glance at the travelers. :: Maybe we can finally get some food. Even a crust of bread would be good at this point. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/383 "2005-04-30T21:16:40Z")
I’m suprised they were able to take care of those things so quickly. I just hope that one of them doesn’t escape… ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/384 "2005-04-30T21:26:16Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > :: They look around the pub. Not much time has passed at all, really. The woman who had tried to exit is sitting at a table talking with the bartender. A few other patrons remain. They glance at the travelers. :: > > Maybe we can finally get some food. Even a crust of bread would be good at this point. How about some nectar and ambrosia? _appearing out of thin air_ ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/385 "2005-05-01T02:17:21Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > How about some nectar and ambrosia? _appearing out of thin air_ Ooh! Neat trick - You can summon sugar water and a marshmallow-and-coconut concoctions out of midair, but you can’t make ravening squcks disappear? Aw, screw it. Pass the ambrosia… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/386 "2005-05-01T03:49:52Z")
I don’t want to look too picky, but have you got any mead or roasted meats in there? ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/387 "2005-05-01T05:21:34Z")
~drags over some remnants of the dead squick~ I don’t think it’s poisonous, since I’m not dead yet. Sorry, it’s not roasted, but I can’t really start a fire, being a cat 'n all. ~goes back to sleep~ ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/388 "2005-05-01T07:28:45Z")
:: Takes stick out of fire :: Mmmmmm, roast squck. I found some mead at the pub, too. They didn’t even make me pay, those nice folks. [Flash back] :: slice! hack! chop! bash! crunch! screams of pain:: So, are another five of you going to attack me at once, or are you ganna give something to drink?[/FB] Such friendly people. All in all, things lookin up for this thread. It’s almost eery… AGGGHHHH! A HUGE HULKING BEAST ON THE HORIZON! TO ARMS, TO ARMS! ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/389 "2005-05-01T10:30:24Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > How about some nectar and ambrosia? _appearing out of thin air_ May I 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/390 "2005-05-01T19:01:49Z")
> [@Atheist Princess](#): > > May I 🙂 Excuse me? Huge hulking beast? On the horizon? ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/391 "2005-05-01T22:49:35Z")
~sharpens claws again~ Is it here yet? ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/392 "2005-05-01T23:56:25Z")
:: Smash! Crash! Clash! :: DIE, FOUL CREATURE! > [@the4thmooncat](#): > > Is it here yet? Does it look like it’s here yet? :: Boom! Bang! Wham! :: DIE, CREATURE, DIE! HRRRRAUGH-HAHAHA! ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/393 "2005-05-02T00:06:33Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > :: Smash! Crash! Clash! :: > DIE, FOUL CREATURE! > > Does it look like it’s here yet? > :: Boom! Bang! Wham! :: > DIE, CREATURE, DIE! HRRRRAUGH-HAHAHA! Oops, my bad. I had my headphones on again. 🆒 :smack: ~dives into the fray~ YARG! :slashes at everything in reach: Damn my lack of height! :slashslashslash: Take that, foul foot-of-creature! ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/394 "2005-05-02T11:24:44Z")
> [@the4thmooncat](#): > > Oops, my bad. I had my headphones on again. 🆒 :smack: > > ~dives into the fray~ YARG! :slashes at everything in reach: Damn my lack of height! :slashslashslash: Take that, foul foot-of-creature! Ok **Axe** , we all need to work together, what do you want me to do? _rips of gown to reveal leather jumpsuit complete with matching boots_ I’m ready for this 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/395 "2005-05-02T11:52:00Z")
_Unlimbers Vorpal_ I’m in! Hey - nice boots! Italian? ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/396 "2005-05-02T12:52:43Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > _Unlimbers Vorpal_ > I’m in! > > Hey - nice boots! Italian? Of course 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/397 "2005-05-02T13:30:13Z")
> [@Atheist Princess](#): > > Of course 😃 But aren’t those heels a little, uh… _impractical_ for kicking monster tushie? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/398 "2005-05-02T15:47:59Z")
They’re sharp and pointy, looks like… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/399 "2005-05-02T16:09:36Z")
Darling, I simply _must_ have a pair of those. _Where_ did you find them? _shoots a couple of arrows into the fray_ I’ll even give you a pair of the latest Prada and Gucci designs… ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/400 "2005-05-02T17:21:18Z")
(Outside the Initiation Complex the ground trembles for a moment and hunches itself up forming a shapless mass of dirt which in turn subsides again leaving a human figure standing on the now quiet grass.) Hello? Anybody home? (EarthStone777 walks through the open doors into the now deserted complex.) Hello? They said I was to come here for my initiation. Where is everybody? Eww, whats all this muck on the floors and walls and… are those tentacles? And who broke that robot and didn’t bother to fix it? What a mess. … Ooohhh Shiny! Look at the nice clean chair sitting on a conveyor belt that leads off into the dark mysterious depths. OoooOOoo “Mysterious!” (waving fingers while saying it) That would have been fun! Darn, I finally decide to show up after lurking for five years and it seems they held the party without me. (Turning around and wandering back out into the sunshine.) \ Guess I’ll just go off by myself then. (The ground trembles and splits open, the figure steps into the void, dropping out of sight, and with a THUD, the ground closes up again.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=21)