# new-ness! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123 "2002-10-27T17:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 25
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/481 "2005-05-04T00:29:47Z")
Okay, first the CHUDs finish, _then_ we fight them. Got it. Say, I wonder how **EarthStone** is doing? :: bubbling moans are heard from somewhere within the Initiatron 2000 :: :: **Sunspace** looks at a screen :: Oh my. He (or she–it’s a little uncertain now) is almost through. :: Peers at setting of exit control :: Oh! Oops. :: blushes :: Maybe **Hal** should get ready… ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/482 "2005-05-04T02:07:30Z")
> [@Atheist Princess](#): > > Ok. > Urm…what does the ‘D’ really stand for 😕 “ **D** wellers.” It was a cheesy-arsed horror flick from the 80’s, but a bit of fun at that. Mentioned several times on the Simpsons (and elsewhere). ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/483 "2005-05-04T02:52:34Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > “ **D** wellers.” It was a cheesy-arsed horror flick from the 80’s, but a bit of fun at that. Mentioned several times on the Simpsons (and elsewhere). Where is **Stone**? Is he going to be alright? **Kythereia** …how does the gown fit? Holy Carp (no, not a spelling error)…Not guessing that has made me feel incredibly stupid…I’ve seen the movie and I’m an Simpsons fan ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/484 "2005-05-04T05:46:46Z")
> [@Atheist Princess](#): > > Where is **Stone**? Is he going to be alright? Well, any moment he should be exiting the Initiatron… right into **Hal** ’s lap. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/485 "2005-05-04T05:49:42Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Well, any moment he should be exiting the Initiatron… right into **Hal** ’s lap. 😃 Ooooh! Want some popcorn **Sunspace**? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/486 "2005-05-04T05:53:33Z")
Yes, this should be fun. I wonder how many limbs he will have? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/487 "2005-05-04T06:16:38Z")
Here you go :: Hands **Sunspace** popcorn:: Limbs…well I’d guess 4… 5 Depending on the gender 😛 ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/488 "2005-05-04T12:27:42Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Say, I wonder how **EarthStone** is doing? … > > He (or she–it’s a little uncertain now) is almost through… > > Maybe **Hal** should get ready… ( **Hal** is waiting at the Upper Chanber for **EarthStone** when…) _A figure drops through a trap door in the ceiling and falls right on top of **SR47** in the Control Room_ Oooff! Ouch! Watch that last step, it’s a doozy! _Rising to my feet, having lost all clothing during the ‘initiation’, it’s very clear that there is no uncertainty now, **EarthStone** is male and shaped like what you’d only describe as a ‘mountain man’, well over 6’ tall, heavily muscled, but NOT in a lean chisled way, thick bodied, hairy, full beard and craggy face._ Well that was an interesting experience… to say the least. Was that the entire initiation or is there more to come? Only one ride per customer? _There is the sound of grinding metal and mechanical crashes coming from the conveyor belt system. Apparently something, or many things, got broken on the last use._ Uh, _glancing down_ I don’t suppose you have a spare robe… Oh look a sheet! _Pulling sheet used as a dust cover off something mechanical sitting in the corner and tying it around waist like a makeshift skirt_ Where am I by the way? I haven’t been in this room yet. Ooohh! Look at all the buttons and switches. What do they do? _Pushing a bunch at random, pulling some switches, noises come from the now uncovered object sitting in corner_ ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/489 "2005-05-04T12:36:31Z")
> [@EarthStone777](#): > > ( **Hal** is waiting at the Upper Chanber for **EarthStone** when…) > > _A figure drops through a trap door in the ceiling and falls right on top of **SR47** in the Control Room_ K, my turn to get confused now. (Hey, I just came out of the Initiation Conveyor Belt and fell on top of someone!) That should have read (Everyone is waiting at the Upper Chanber for **EarthStone** when…) _A figure drops through a trap door in the ceiling and falls right on top of **Hal** in the Control Room_ ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/490 "2005-05-04T14:47:31Z")
See? What’d I tell ya? We _gotta_ go back to old-school initiations! Felching, goats, car batteries, ball gags… This guy isn’t even catatonic! Where’s the joy in that? ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/491 "2005-05-04T15:33:21Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > See? What’d I tell ya? We _gotta_ go back to old-school initiations! Felching, goats, car batteries, ball gags… > This guy isn’t even catatonic! Where’s the joy in that? Yeah, he’s only slightly confused. This was a let down. **Hal** , I pronounce your experiment a failure. **Hal**? Uh-oh… :: walks into controll room :: Uh, guys, the newby is just standing here, pressing buttons at rndom. I just hope he doens’t, NO! **STONE** , DON’T PRESS THAT ONE! ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/492 "2005-05-04T15:36:39Z")
Well, at least we know the “Self-destruct” button is bullshit. Right? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/493 "2005-05-04T15:42:45Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > NO! **STONE** , DON’T PRESS THAT ONE! _Standing still as a statue, finger still extended, touching a big Red button already ‘depressed’ into the control board_ Huh? I figured that Red means stop and therefore it might shut down that… whatever it is that started humming and clanking in the corner. \*raised hand and points into corner. Thereby releasing the big Red button which spring pops out with a distinct ~click~ \* ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/494 "2005-05-04T16:16:56Z")
Gaa! Not the _red button_! That’s the Initation Room Flood Control! (What? You never know when something like that could come in handy…) Damnit…I _knew_ I should’ve spend the extra 47 cents on getting an override/cancel button installed! Well folks, I reccommend deep breaths for as long as possible. The IRFC has an auto-release after 30 minutes. Oh, **Kythereia**? I wouldn’t worry about your white dress anymore. Errr, and someone might wanna hit **mooncat** with a tranq gun, elsewise you may be trying to get her claws out of your skull in a minute. :: the iron doors of the Initiation Room slam shut as water starts whooshing into the room :: ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/495 "2005-05-04T16:39:55Z")
Water? _Water?_ How am I supposed to fight _water_? Damnit! Now we’re all gonna die. :: Water filling up :: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr… With my last breath, I curse _you_… Zoidberg! ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/496 "2005-05-04T16:49:13Z")
Aw, dammit! I can barely swim! ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/497 "2005-05-04T17:08:33Z")
(Side note - I created this thread [THREAD=6124183]Avatar Meet and Greet[/THREAD] so that we can learn about each others Avatars ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/498 "2005-05-04T17:14:23Z")
Stand back, I’ll handle this. :: opens a wormhole into which all the water flows :: There. That wasn’t so hard. Hmm, I wonder where exactly I sent all that water. Ah well, it’s probably not important. ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/499 "2005-05-04T17:23:38Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > Water? _Water?_ How am I supposed to fight _water_? Damnit! Now we’re all gonna die. > > :: Water filling up :: > > Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr… With my last breath, I curse _you_… Zoidberg! Quit the theatrics **Regallag**! You’re safe in the Control Room with **SR47** and me. It’s the others we have to worry about that are still in the Initation Room. I see on the monitors that the doors are sealed shut but what about the Conveyor Belt? They might be able to escape through the Initiation Conveyor Belt. They’ll miss out on most of the ‘experiences’ I went through because, well, some of the machinery broke when I was using it. But I think the Robotic Tentacles are still active and a couple of the other items might still work. That should give them something to look forward to. ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/500 "2005-05-04T17:32:56Z")
[QUOTE=Spatial Rift 47] :: opens a wormhole into which all the water flows :: [QUOTE] Oh, never mind then. Crisis over. … Ahh, **Regallag** whats that shadowy thing behind you, and where’d the machine that used to be in the corner get to? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=24) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=26)