# new-ness! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123 "2002-10-27T17:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 29
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/561 "2005-05-06T05:36:21Z")
A pig-like creature that wants you to eat it. Solves the whole vegetarian conundrum. Sign on to messenger already and I’ll give you a proper explanation. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/562 "2005-05-06T11:32:42Z")
Before everyone takes off to that restaurant, perhaps we should deal with all the chopped up villagers lying in front of the door conecting the Complex to the Vale? No point in having every scavenger and disease carrier right outside the door. Hrmmm, no using insects this time, that just didn’t work out like I expected. … I know!.. Everyone step back through the door, into the complex and leave this to me. _Concentrates_ _The ground turns to mud, the chopped villagers sink into the earth, the mud turns back to solid ground_ There, that should do it ~schloop~ _The ground under **EarthStone** turns to mud and sucks him down_ I’m going to be offline till Monday ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/563 "2005-05-06T12:56:13Z")
Ahh, very good work, troops. Another crisis averted. So…now what? Any newbies out there need a run through the new and improved Initiatron 2000? Hey, that reminds me…to answer everyone who had complaints about the first run of the Initiatron 2000, let me just point out two things – 1) **EarthStone777** was the one who went through. Dude’s made of _rock_! Of course he wasn’t that shaken up by the ordeal. 2) He only went through half the initiation! If you recall, he was accidentally dropped into the control room. That’s only the mid-point of the Initiatron 2000. He still had the three most mentally devastating initiation stations to go! Anyway…anyone got any Initation Complex-improvement ideas? Any new business? Or should I just hit this green button and release one of my latest creations? ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/564 "2005-05-06T15:11:25Z")
NO! DON’T PRESS THAT — … button :smack: . Well, here we go again. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/565 "2005-05-06T16:42:49Z")
But… it’s so _beautiful_! How could anything like that be harmful? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/566 "2005-05-06T16:57:20Z")
Really! Not _everything_ I genetically engineer is done for destructive purposes…(Hmmm…destructive porpoises…gotta add that to the list)…for example, the lovely creature you’re looking at is the combination of a beautiful gazelle, combined with the DNA from **RYBTP** ’s pet yak. The combination gives us a lithe, agile creature with long, shimmery fur. It truly brings a tear to the eye. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Gak! Errr…ok, maybe a better name can be worked out later. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/567 "2005-05-06T17:02:34Z")
It brings a tear to the eye alright… why does it smell like onoins? Beautiful plumage, though. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/568 "2005-05-06T17:26:58Z")
Oooooooooo, it is pretty. It’s friendly, right? :: goes over to pet the … the, er … how about we call it a yazelle? :: ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/569 "2005-05-06T17:30:03Z")
Beautiful, aye. It’s just a pity how those huge yak-horns are making it’s pretty little head at the end of it’s gazelle-graceful neck never get more than three inches off the floor… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/570 "2005-05-06T17:36:07Z")
The yak-horns could be of light and foamy construction… but, knowing **Hal** , they aren’t. Look at it this way: eventually the yazelle will have _really strong_ neck muscles. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/571 "2005-05-06T17:58:13Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > The yak-horns could be of light and foamy construction… but, knowing **Hal** , they aren’t. Oh, no no no…they’re quite light. Hollow, actually. They’d have to be, of course…how else could she inject the venom? Did I not mention the puff adder DNA in the mix? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/572 "2005-05-06T18:02:14Z")
:eek: Oh **Hal** … you are so _twisted_… ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/573 "2005-05-06T18:08:21Z")
[M. Night Shamalan]What a twist![/MNS] ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/574 "2005-05-06T18:08:27Z")
Oh, of course - so it’s head is in the proper position for a snake… perfect for striking! Why didn’t I see it before? :dubious: **Hal** , you’ve got issues, man… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/575 "2005-05-06T18:21:29Z")
The real question at the moment is, IMHO, does _the yazelle_ have any issues. I’m uneasy about the way it’s moving aroung the walls of the room… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/576 "2005-05-06T18:44:44Z")
No no, you should all be fine. It’s very friendly, as long as it’s not abused, and it only uses its horns for hunting prey. Again, you’re fine there – it only eats small game such as rabbits, squirrels and the like, as well as the occasional interdimensional spatial being or mythical goddess. Ooo…hmmm, ok…some of you might wanna steer clear. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/577 "2005-05-06T19:10:31Z")
Pffft. As if anything could get through the spacetime surrounding me if I didn’t want it to. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/578 "2005-05-06T19:35:50Z")
Uh, **SR47** , you seem to hve a big welt on you’re leg. Looks to me like the sort of wound that a poison carrying tooth or horn might leave. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/579 "2005-05-06T20:33:44Z")
Ah crap. Really should have been paying more attention. Well, I suppose I could reverse the flow of time in the volume immediately surrounding my injured leg, and thus prevent the injury from ever occurring in the first place, but I think I’ll just grab one of the handy puff adder antivenom syringes in this drawer here. Gotta give **Hal** _some_ credit for taking precautions, I suppose. :: injects leg with antivenom :: Ahh, that’s better. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/580 "2005-05-06T21:06:05Z")
Say, anyone seen **Clothahump** recently? I could have sworn I saw him [downstairs](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6132444&postcount=143) a while back… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=28) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=30)