# new-ness! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123 "2002-10-27T17:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 33
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/641 "2005-05-10T19:40:39Z")
And a damn fine one it was, too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/642 "2005-05-10T22:13:43Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > Nah, I’ve had my [initiation](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=309165) already, thanks. :: rereads thread :: Hmmmm…I dunno about that. I mean, you _did_ go through quite a bit of torture, but the actual initiation never did take place. :: hits button on remote for the squck’s control collar :: :: squck obediently returns to nest :: Ok folks! Back to the Initiation Room! We’ll have a successful initation in this thread yet! ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/643 "2005-05-10T22:23:19Z")
An actual initiation? :: Runns back through tunnel :: Get outta my way, freak! :: slays the beast in an off-handed manner :: Alright! It’s initiation-trebouchet time! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/644 "2005-05-10T23:08:15Z")
:: They all exit the tunnel to return to the Second Initiation Room. This room, just down the hall from the first, is mercifully unscarred by Death Rays, floods, tentacles, Monster Bread, or battle. The doors to neighbouring rooms are smooth and unbuckled; the hoisting equipment is clean; the water tank in the corner is unsullied, and the chairs are intact. Only the bookshelf and the tunnel opening behind it, and the one dead beast in the doorway, suggest the mayhem that had occured elsewhere. :: :: It’s initiation time. :: ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/645 "2005-05-10T23:48:19Z")
I’m in! _pulls large paddle from cargo shorts side-pocket_ ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/646 "2005-05-10T23:59:09Z")
Hmm, this could be fun. I’ll be right back. :: exits to the storage wing of the complex :: :: returns wheeling a 55 gallon drum of canola oil behind him, and carrying a bear suit and a spatula :: what? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/647 "2005-05-11T00:18:43Z")
Um. Oh, look at the time! I have to… uhh. Walk my goldfish! (Yeah, that’s it…) Catch you guys later! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/648 "2005-05-11T00:29:48Z")
:: **Sunspace** closes the exit doors around the dead beast. He starts to take off his towel, then pauses. :: Um, wait a minute. :: He hastily restores the towel, exits around the dead beast, goes to the washroom where he’d found the beast, showers, dresses, gathers his own gear as well as ‘equipment’ from other rooms, and returns. :: That’s better. :: He closes the door again and puts on a face shield. :: ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/649 "2005-05-11T01:48:41Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > :: **Sunspace** closes the exit doors around the dead beast. He starts to take off his towel, then pauses. :: > > Um, wait a minute. > > :: He hastily restores the towel, exits around the dead beast, goes to the washroom where he’d found the beast, showers, dresses, gathers his own gear as well as ‘equipment’ from other rooms, and returns. :: > > That’s better. > > :: He closes the door again and puts on a face shield. :: I um…well…i saw…ah…urm…:😊: Nice um…shirt ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/650 "2005-05-11T01:50:23Z")
By the way…has anyone seen my whip and handcuffs??? No. The leather suit isn’t just for fighting… 😉 Its for initiation too… you sickos!😛 ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/651 "2005-05-11T01:56:06Z")
I’m kind of worried about the canola oil. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/652 "2005-05-11T03:21:30Z")
> [@Atheist Princess](#): > > I um…well…i saw…ah…urm…:😊: > Nice um…shirt Why, yes, I _do_ have a scar there. 🙂 It is the result of an operation when I was in my mid-twenties. They did it under local anaesthetic with a visual shield across my chest while I was konked to the gills on I-don’t-know-what, and the weirdest thing about it was listening to the doctors discuss what they had eaten at their barbecue the previous weekend while they worked… The only other side effects were that I couldn’t laugh for a week and I sometimes set off airport metal detectors. Um, where were we? > [@Atheist Princess](#): > > No. The leather suit isn’t just for fighting… :: interested look :: I don’t think that’s sick at all… 😉 > [@Snakescatlady](#): > > I’m kind of worried about the canola oil. Don’t worry. I’m sure it’ll be fine. What? Oh. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/653 "2005-05-12T03:19:22Z")
If all is to be fine…why are we still standing here? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/654 "2005-05-12T03:31:26Z")
I was, um, distracted. Yeah, that’s it. :: contemplates female forms, sweats :: Now where were we? ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/655 "2005-05-12T03:33:36Z")
Weren’t you saying or doing something concerning canola oil? Snakescatlady quickly exits room. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/656 "2005-05-12T16:40:43Z")
Hmmm…looks like this thread drops quick when it comes time for doing an actual initiation. Oh well, gotta do something to spice it up, then. :: flips switch, releases a half-dozen mean-tempered giant squaks into the Initiation Room :: ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/657 "2005-05-12T17:23:57Z")
Yeah yeah, hack and slash, hack and slash… _gratuitous pun_ _frenetic running_ RESET _wait for next post_ ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/658 "2005-05-12T22:04:41Z")
:: Pushes open the giant double doors :: Alright, men! _ **Chaaaaaaarrrrrrge!** _ :: a large hoard of Nordic warriors swarms into the room, killing all the squcks, as well as any robo-things :: Well, **Hal** , you tried something really big. I had something bigger. I win. Men, how would you like to sack a little village in nice, quite glade? ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/659 "2005-05-13T02:46:01Z")
::walks in after having a shower, now dressed in a wonder woman style set:: What in the…?! Hmmmm. I don’t know if I like all of **Axe** ’s men staring at me like that…drool is not a good look boys :rolleyes: Urm **Sunspace** …whats that thing on your arm? Nope, the other one. Now a little to the left. There, it looks like bite marks! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/660 "2005-05-13T02:50:48Z")
_notices **Atheist Princess** ’ get-up_ Holy guacamole! :eek: No _wonder_ my mom didn’t want me reading comic books! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=32) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=34)