# new-ness! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123 "2002-10-27T17:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 38
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/741 "2005-05-27T14:00:42Z")
Oh **Improbability** , behold what you have wrought and weep. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/742 "2005-05-27T14:52:32Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > 1.8 m, or roughly the size of a full grown male Red Kangaroo, also known as the _Macropus rufus_. 🙂 What, we have commie\* kangaroos now? Isn’t that kind of retro for you, **Hal**? WHAT are you doing? [sub]\* “Commie”: even the term is retro.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/743 "2005-05-27T15:09:45Z")
> [@Nicodemus2004](#): > > Oh **Improbability** , behold what you have wrought and weep. Accordnig to my calculations, the fact that this thread exists at all carries an **Improbability** factor of two to the power of seven hundred and fifty two against. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/744 "2005-05-27T15:17:31Z")
…while in another interesting bit of improbability, seven hundred and fifty two just happens to be the height (in feet) of your 20 Ourangatangaroosturgeons. You’ll find them sedated and loaded on that fleet of flat-bed wide-load trucks around the side of the building. The invoice is on the side of box #1. What? You never specified dimensions, and I like to work big. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/745 "2005-05-27T15:19:33Z")
Why are the boxes loaded on the trucks around the side of the building quivering? ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/746 "2005-05-27T15:34:45Z")
Anticipation? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/747 "2005-05-27T16:36:19Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > …while in another interesting bit of improbability, seven hundred and fifty two just happens to be the height (in feet) of your 20 Ourangatangaroosturgeons. You’ll find them sedated and loaded on that fleet of flat-bed wide-load trucks around the side of the building. The invoice is on the side of box #1. > > What? You never specified dimensions, and I like to work big. We’re doing deliveries now? Are we charging? We better be charging, **Hal** , or we’re going to lose a bundle… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/748 "2005-05-27T16:56:49Z")
I’m more concerned by the fact that some of the boxes have broken open and the Ourangatangaroosturgeons appear to be charging… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/749 "2005-05-27T17:15:56Z")
We’re good, **Daithi**. The invoice is clearly marked, and those suckers are damn expensive. We’ll make a bundle off of this deal. And the beauty of it is, if the recipient doesn’t pay, then the product acts as their own collection agency. In other words, I’d make sure to take care of that bill asap, **Rufus** , elsewise you may find yourself on the wrong end of a game of Giant Ourangatangaroosturgeons hacky-sack. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/750 "2005-05-27T17:16:00Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I’m more concerned by the fact that some of the boxes have broken open and the Ourangatangaroosturgeons appear to be charging… Well, who in Og’s name gave them credit cards?!? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/751 "2005-05-27T17:21:04Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I’m more concerned by the fact that some of the boxes have broken open and the Ourangatangaroosturgeons appear to be charging… Well, who in Og’s name gave them credit cards?!? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/752 "2005-05-27T17:21:53Z")
Whoop…I’ll handle this. :: pulls out remote, freezes Ourangatangaroosturgeons in their tracks :: :: except for one, which gives **Daithi** a well-deserved swift kick in the ass for that joke. _Then_ it freezes in place as well :: ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/753 "2005-05-27T18:03:28Z")
C’mon, press it one mo’ 'gain, Hal. It was posted twice after all. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/754 "2005-05-27T18:10:48Z")
Ow! Goddam jumpin’ ape-fish made me drop my joke book from when I was 9! ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/755 "2005-05-27T23:26:10Z")
I’ll handle this! ( **Rufus** stomps up to the crates, rips the invoice off, and looks at the number at the bottom.) Um… **Hal**? Is this supposed to be US Dollars or Korean Won? Because if it’s $, I may have to come up with some financing. ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/756 "2005-05-27T23:43:58Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > …while in another interesting bit of improbability, seven hundred and fifty two just happens to be the height (in feet) of your 20 Ourangatangaroosturgeons. You’ll find them sedated and loaded on that fleet of flat-bed wide-load trucks around the side of the building. The invoice is on the side of box #1. > > What? You never specified dimensions, and I like to work big. Mmmm. Ya know, if you go around the back of NASA , back by the dumpsters, you can pick up the boxes that the space shuttles come in and that may save you a bundle! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/757 "2005-05-28T01:09:50Z")
> [@Nicodemus2004](#): > > Mmmm. > Ya know, if you go around the back of NASA , back by the dumpsters, you can pick up the boxes that the space shuttles come in and that may save you a bundle! Ummm… you know that the space shuttles are over twenty years old, right? And that those boxes have been sitting out there since at least 1985? And that they are therefore probably _full_ of spiderwebs and lizards and boll weevils and giant cockroaches and super-centipedes and Og knows what else, right? Do we want You Know Who to get their hands on that, given what we know theyève created already? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/758 "2005-05-28T01:28:50Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > Um… **Hal**? Is this supposed to be US Dollars or Korean Won? Because if it’s $, I may have to come up with some financing. Yep, that’s U.S. Dollars. There should’ve been a few more zeros on the end of it, but my printer eventually ran out of ink. Keep in mind, of course, that with 20 Giant Ourangatangaroosturgeons you could going on a rather profitable crime spree. Not that I condone that type of behaviour…just saying is all… ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/759 "2005-05-28T13:33:24Z")
Oy. ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/760 "2005-05-28T14:04:05Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Ummm… you know that the space shuttles are over twenty years old, right? And that those boxes have been sitting out there since at least 1985? And that they are therefore probably _full_ of spiderwebs and lizards and boll weevils and giant cockroaches and super-centipedes and Og knows what else, right? > > Do we want You Know Who to get their hands on that, given what we know theyève created already? Excellent point. We won’t tell You-Know-Who about You-Know-What after all. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=37) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=39)