# new-ness! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123 "2002-10-27T17:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/61 "2005-04-19T20:12:50Z")
: smooches Anaamika fully on the nose : How’s that? In love yet? 😛 : waves : Hey **Hal**! 😃 Did **kitten** let you out to play today? Ooooh! That’s gotta hurt! : pulls out arrow and jabs **Kythereia** in the butt with it : Hey, you lost something. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/62 "2005-04-19T20:16:26Z")
[Waitaminute!](http://www.novareinna.com/festive/cupid.html) > [@The Site Linked Above](#): > > According to legend, Cupid’s arrows come in two varieties: the Golden Arrow, which generally signifies true love, and the Leaden Arrow, which represents wanton and sensual passion. So tell me…am I supposed to be hating the concept of love, or am I supposed to be _really_ horny? And more to the point, who’s gonna explain all this to my wife?? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/63 "2005-04-19T20:33:28Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > And more to the point, who’s gonna explain all this to my wife?? :eek: I _so_ volunteer for that! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/64 "2005-04-19T20:37:30Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > [Waitaminute!](http://www.novareinna.com/festive/cupid.html) > > So tell me…am I supposed to be hating the concept of love, or am I supposed to be _really_ horny? I \*so \* prefer the second. But I am not going anywhere near your wife. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/65 "2005-04-19T20:38:40Z")
Either one, **Hal** 😉 Now if you’ll excuse me… _flees from **Anaamika** _ _shoots golden arrow at **harmless** in passing_ ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/66 "2005-04-19T20:39:03Z")
Yeah, let me. It’s hard to kill the messanger if she’s already undead. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/67 "2005-04-19T20:48:37Z")
:: **Sunspace** returns from the Squid Storage Room, shaking, with an indescribable look on his face :: :: He sees the events in the room and stops dead :: ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/68 "2005-04-19T20:50:29Z")
If I were you, **Sunspace** , I’d turn right around and take my chances with the squid. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/69 "2005-04-19T21:05:15Z")
Oh, **Sunspace**! : gives **Sunspace** that undead lovin’ look : How _you_ doin’? Mind if I nibble an earlobe for a sec, sweets? You look delicious… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/70 "2005-04-19T21:06:59Z")
I would just like to say that this is the longest welcome thread I’ve ever seen, nevermind that the person you’re welcoming has vanished under mysterious circumstances. It’s clear that from now on, newbies wishing to make a strong first impression should start a welcome thread, get banned and disappear. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/71 "2005-04-19T22:25:33Z")
We had a longer one. remember the one with the squck, and the monster bread? Yeah. That was longer. But this one I find to be wierder, if somewhat safer. Undead lovin’… ::shivers, and grips axe firmly:: Nevermind that “safer” part. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/72 "2005-04-20T01:08:25Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > Undead lovin’… ::shivers, and grips axe firmly:: _Undead lovin’…had me a blast… Undead lovin’…rottin’ so fast… Met a corpse…crazy for me… Met a_ I’m sorry…no, no…stop the music. I’m sorry, this is just all kinds of wrong. :: drops mic, walks off stage :: ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/73 "2005-04-20T02:25:43Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > _Undead lovin’…had me a blast… > Undead lovin’…rottin’ so fast… > Met a corpse…crazy for me… > Met a_ I’m sorry…no, no…stop the music. I’m sorry, this is just all kinds of wrong. > > :: drops mic, walks off stage :: “_Walks off stage?_” I thought you were shackled! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/74 "2005-04-20T15:08:35Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > “_Walks off stage?_” I thought you were shackled! Oh…right… :: drops mic, doesn’t go anywhere :: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/75 "2005-04-20T15:17:14Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Oh…right… > > :: drops mic, doesn’t go anywhere :: Let’s tar & feather him! :: gets the tar, dumps it messily all over \*\*Hal’s \*\* head :: Get the feathers! ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/76 "2005-04-20T15:45:04Z")
When you have swans for your bird, this is all too easy… 😉 _produces bag full of white feathers_ ---
**Author:** ![Improbability](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Improbability](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improbability)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/77 "2005-04-20T16:14:57Z")
Well, now that that’s all cleared up (thanks to all the relevant parties), I do believe some of you were in the process of torturing me, or something? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/78 "2005-04-20T16:17:08Z")
Ah-hah! _There’s_ the one who’s supposed to be locked to this chair! Now would someone _please_ unlock me so we can get the _real_ initation started?? ---
**Author:** ![Improbability](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Improbability](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improbability)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/79 "2005-04-20T16:18:45Z")
Oh did they put you in there instead? Thank you people. I’m perfectly happy to join in with your torture. I’m not very good with pain at all. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/80 "2005-04-20T16:20:16Z")
Oh, no, you don’t, darling… _swiftly unlocks **Hal** from his chains, shackles **Improbability** _ Let the initiation recommence! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=5)