# new-ness! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123 "2002-10-27T17:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 40
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/781 "2005-05-31T02:50:19Z")
Don’t worry, **Rufus**. It’s inside. Here. With us. Um. Maybe I should rephrase that… ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/782 "2005-05-31T03:28:03Z")
:: opens a wormhole into oblivion underneath the monstrosity :: Who needs norsemen when you have absolute control over space and time? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/783 "2005-05-31T03:29:10Z")
Can I come 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/784 "2005-05-31T03:33:39Z")
> [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > :: opens a wormhole into oblivion underneath the monstrosity :: :: The creature abruptly drops from view, seemingly into the floor :: :: a gusty wind disturbs the room :: :: there is a pause :: :: the creature appears again, falling from the ceiling :: :: it lands with an unpleasant SPLUD sound, splattering the floor with gunk, and lies still :: ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/785 "2005-05-31T04:19:16Z")
Well, at least it’s dead … or is it ? dun dun dunnnn … ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/786 "2005-05-31T04:25:03Z")
> [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > Well, at least it’s dead … or is it ? dun dun dunnnn … Make it easy on yourself. Open another rift to oblivion underneath it and, after it falls through but **before** it exits, put a half-twist in the tunnel and join the outlet to the inlet. I don’t care what **Hal** did to it, there’s no way it’ll get out of a Möbius rift! I’d suggest doing the same thing to his lab, too. Those creations of his are getting out of hand. More importantly, they’re getting in the way of me finishing this book. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/787 "2005-05-31T04:37:37Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Make it easy on yourself. Open another rift to oblivion underneath it and, after it falls through but **before** it exits, put a half-twist in the tunnel and join the outlet to the inlet. > > I don’t care what **Hal** did to it, there’s no way it’ll get out of a Möbius rift! > > I’d suggest doing the same thing to his lab, too. Those creations of his are getting out of hand. More importantly, they’re getting in the way of me finishing this book. I go on one quick raid through Europe , and all Hells (yes _all_ of them) break loose! The horde ai’t with me, but I _do_ have this thing. I don’t know what it does, but I’m sure we’ll find out if I press this button… ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/788 "2005-05-31T05:08:32Z")
:smack: Shit. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/789 "2005-05-31T11:37:16Z")
_ **DON’T PRESS THAT BU-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/790 "2005-05-31T14:00:11Z")
BZZZOWNN_hic_NTTTT!!! wuh-_BOUM_ kreeeaakkkk rumble CRASH thud klank tinkle tinkle [sub]ting[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/791 "2005-05-31T14:23:43Z")
_ **-TTON.** _ nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/792 "2005-05-31T14:37:36Z")
Well, it looks like everything’s back to norbal. Who’s up for some cribbage? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/793 "2005-05-31T14:42:32Z")
What, _that_ button? That just operates the frappuccino machine. Sheesh…the way some people overreact…_“Oooo, it’s one of **Hal** ’s creations, it must be a deathtrap…oooo!”_ :rolleyes: Of course, it seems the lid wasn’t on properly, so now we have frappuccino mess everywhere. Not to worry, though…I see that that tentacle abomination thingy is slithering over to slurp up the mess. I sure the caffeine won’t have too much of an effect on it. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/794 "2005-05-31T15:11:39Z")
It’s… on… the… _ceiling!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/795 "2005-05-31T15:25:24Z")
What? One of **Hal** ’s creations? No, I found this some old bishop’s tomb. So either some one else, wierd abomination I’m lookin’ at you, turned on the frappuccino machine, or this bishop liked his caffine. Or maybe, it hust-- wait… what’s that noise? ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/796 "2005-05-31T16:51:39Z")
Well, the caffeine seems to have shrunk the abomination to the size of a grape. Now somebody squish it so we can move on. **Hal** , you got any leftover sturgeon? I could really go for a sturgeon and tonic. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/797 "2005-05-31T17:19:52Z")
Sorry, fresh out. But we do have a nice jug of this… :: Hands **Rufus** a nicely stirred jynnan tonnyx :: ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/798 "2005-05-31T17:32:44Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Sorry, fresh out. But we do have a nice jug of this… > > :: Hands **Rufus** a nicely stirred jynnan tonnyx :: Actually, I prefer a Ouisghian Zodah. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/799 "2005-05-31T18:11:17Z")
:: passes out Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed our by a slice of lemon wrapped round a gold brick :: ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/800 "2005-05-31T18:48:11Z")
Actually, women do that to me too… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=39) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=41)