# new-ness! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123 "2002-10-27T17:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 41
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/801 "2005-05-31T19:21:13Z")
mmmm… total inebriation… ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/802 "2005-05-31T22:16:07Z")
Is it safe to climb down out of this tree? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/803 "2005-05-31T23:09:49Z")
Of course! “Safe” being a [SIZE=1]very relative term 'round these parts, mind you.[/SIZE] ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/804 "2005-05-31T23:28:45Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > Is it safe to climb down out of this tree? Tree? There aren’t any trees around here… uh oh ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/805 "2005-05-31T23:59:40Z")
☹ ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/806 "2005-06-01T04:48:52Z")
Silly trees. Growth hormones are for kids! Wait, what? I think there might be something in this p-pollen thaas makin me kinda… kinda whoshy… :: slaps self :: Gah! Snap out of it! Okay, plants! It’s time to pat the piper. His fee: painful death! ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/807 "2005-06-01T13:28:42Z")
Sounds like I’m out of the plot. Whimper… ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/808 "2005-06-01T14:38:11Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > It’s time to pat the piper. Ooh! Is that like “Pat the Bunny?” And **Snakescatlady** : _What_ plot? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/809 "2005-06-01T14:41:45Z")
When suddenly… :: A delivery guy runs in, dressed in his Netherworld Parcel Service uniform, carrying a large box emanating unearthly sounds :: “ **Snakescatlady**? Is there a **Snakescatlady** here? Ahhh, very good…here ya go. No, no need to sign for it. Gotta go!” :: He quick zips out of the complex :: Well…_that_ was certainly unexpected. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/810 "2005-06-01T14:55:22Z")
:: **Sunspace** stares at the box :: Um… is it supposed to be attracting all those metallic objects? Especially the non-magnetic ones? ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/811 "2005-06-01T16:20:58Z")
Don’t look at me! I didn’t order it! ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/812 "2005-06-01T16:25:25Z")
Ah! My axe! Get back here, you…I hope this doesn’t end up like that time I had to fight the evil wizard. I ended up having to beat him to death with a tree. ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/813 "2005-06-02T03:52:41Z")
:eek ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/814 "2005-06-02T20:55:27Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > Ah! My axe! Get back here, you…I hope this doesn’t end up like that time I had to fight the evil wizard. I ended up having to beat him to death with a tree. Let me guess…a _hackberry_ tree? I bet you made that wizard your beech. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/815 "2005-06-02T21:30:22Z")
Boo! Boooooo! : finds a nice rotten tomato and flings it Rufus’ way : Ye fail to entertain me, Jester. Do us a dance…something with a bump & maybe a bit of grind. Yes, that sounds good. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/816 "2005-06-02T21:43:07Z")
Nah, I’m plum tuckered! Why don’t yew dance and I’ll just sit here and check out your ash. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/817 "2005-06-02T22:12:22Z")
: tumps some ash off her ciggy : How’s that? Hot enough for ya? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/818 "2005-06-02T22:23:29Z")
I bet you’re quite poplar with the guys. Especially the chestnuts. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2005, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/819 "2005-06-03T14:51:16Z")
😛 ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/820 "2005-06-03T17:22:39Z")
Ugh! These tree puns are fir the birds! And though you ma-ple my leg, I’ll try to be larch-hearted and let these pass. So do, (cy)press on! Ow! Quit! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=40) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=42)