# new-ness! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123 "2002-10-27T17:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Improbability](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Improbability](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improbability)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/81 "2005-04-20T16:22:44Z")
I am actually scared!!! Just make it quick, ok? And, yes, I’ll tell you anything you need to know. _wonders if she gave in too quickly_ ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/82 "2005-04-20T16:34:21Z")
> [@Improbability](#): > > And, yes, I’ll tell you anything you need to know. Oh, good! Do you prefer cherry or lime-flavoured lube– **harmless**! Stop nibbling on the newbie! ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/83 "2005-04-20T16:37:04Z")
:: wheels out trebouchet :: Hehe. This should be _fun_. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/84 "2005-04-20T16:43:09Z")
Finally! :: rubs chafed ankles, pulls leaden arrow out of shin, slathers body with _Tar-B-Gone_, shakes off feathers :: Now then… :: jots down quick list :: **Kythereia Anaamika harmless Sunspace Regallag Daithi picunurse** :: pulls out remote for RoboSquck Mark I :: You seven? Once you finish with **Improbability** , you’d best strap on your running shoes. It’s payback time. 😃 \<–that should be a much eviler looking smiley. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/85 "2005-04-20T16:53:50Z")
I know what I’ll do! The Robogoat just _disappeared_, it’s not actually dead, and I’ve got the remote! :: presses button :: :: waits :: ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/86 "2005-04-20T17:03:40Z")
_waits_ _waits_ …um, **Ana**?.. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/87 "2005-04-20T17:11:14Z")
Oh, for heaven’s sake, people? Have we become so jaded that we need _machines_ to do our dirty work for us? When I joined here, we didn’t have no fancy-schmancy Robo-goats - we had real, live ones (plus, of course, felching straws) and real, live non-mutated squids! Let’s get back to basics! We’ve got a vict - uh, “initiate” already shackled, so let’s do what we do best! _pulls on double-thick latex gloves_ Now, then… ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/88 "2005-04-20T17:34:23Z")
**Daithi**! No, don’t get the goat, he’s been turned into– _SQUAAAAALCK!_ –the Squck! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![sneezy5660](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@sneezy5660](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sneezy5660)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/89 "2005-04-20T17:50:12Z")
Hi guys, it’s me again! Sorry to run off like that, but I had ummmm…, errands, yeah errands, that’s the ticket, errands to run,yeah. Since **Kytheria** mentioned the squck, he’s bound to show up now. Should we call it the Monster Who Shall Remain Nameless? Seems safer that way. Improbability, I hope your init-, I mean welcome, is not as,um, messy as mine! Hold your breath and think happy thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/90 "2005-04-20T18:08:58Z")
Your sig is distressingly appropriate, **Daitha**. I don’t know where the Robogoat is. And the Squck only comes if you call it three times. Wait a minute, myself… **Kythereia** , **sneezy5660** …uh-oh. :: drops the remote at \*\*Hal’s \*\* feet and runs :: ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/91 "2005-04-20T18:14:43Z")
_flees with **Anaamika** _ Should we run in all directions, or just in one direction? ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/92 "2005-04-20T18:18:11Z")
Alright, now let’s– **SQUOAAARK** Oh, crap. I vote we get a new initiation center. And burn this one to the ground, _burn the ashes,_ then scatter them across th four corners of the earth. _Now!_ ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/93 "2005-04-20T18:25:42Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > _flees with **Anaamika** _ > > Should we run in all directions, or just in one direction? Run in all directions! It can’t follow all of us! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/94 "2005-04-20T18:35:05Z")
Wusses. We’re about to see the epic battle of **Squck Vs. RoboSquck** , and you’re _leaving_?? Sheesh…that’d be like leaving Tokyo when Godzilla took on MechaGodzilla! …waitaminute… :eek: Errr… **Anaamika**? **Kythereia**? I’m right behind ya. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/95 "2005-04-20T18:41:16Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > We’re about to see the epic battle of Squck Vs. RoboSquck What’s next, Space Squck? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/96 "2005-04-20T18:50:53Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Errr… **Anaamika**? **Kythereia**? I’m right behind ya. I know what to do! I’m on his list anyway, so :: trips \*\*Hal \*\* right in the path of the oncoming Squcks :: Let’s go **Kythereia**! \*\*Hal \*\* will keep them busy! ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/97 "2005-04-20T18:52:51Z")
This way! The exit’s over here! If we can just make– _the **Robo-Squck** gives a huge bellow as it charges amorously at the Squck, thrashing its tail and smashing the door in_ Oh no. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/98 "2005-04-20T18:55:41Z")
Wait…the Squck’s a girl?! Er… … Shit. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/99 "2005-04-20T18:58:18Z")
:: double underlines **Anaamika** ’s name on The List :: Waitaminute! Why am I running for cover?? :: Zips down secret, hidden corridor leading to the _Evil Overlord Observation Room Of Evil_ :: Ahhh…front row seats…Squck? RoboSquck? Gedditon! ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/100 "2005-04-20T18:59:24Z")
Oh, this is so bad… _moaning, hands over eyes_ …wait… …is it doing… is the Robo-Squck doing a _mating dance_? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=6)