# new-ness! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123 "2002-10-27T17:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/161 "2005-04-22T11:47:18Z")
**Sunspace** , c’mon! She’s gonna blow! NO, not the Robo-goat! Yeesh… ---
**Author:** ![Improbability](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Improbability](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improbability)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/162 "2005-04-22T16:56:49Z")
> [@taxi78cab](#): > > WHAT ABOUT THE NEWBIE?? Someone save her! She’s still shackled to the chair! I’d do it, but… well, frankly, I don’t want to get in the middle of this mess!! > > :runs madly from the thread: COME BACK! You’re my only hope! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/163 "2005-04-22T17:06:32Z")
Hey! Weren’t you released in post #158? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/164 "2005-04-22T17:08:20Z")
Omigosh! She’s in shock, obviously - she’s running to safety and calling out to Obi Wan Kenobi! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/165 "2005-04-22T17:09:46Z")
> [@Improbability](#): > > COME BACK! You’re my only hope! Check post #158… **Regallag** already freed you! Now run! Run, for the exits! This place is gonna blow any time now! \< _snicker_…suckers…\> ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/166 "2005-04-22T17:11:43Z")
:: Checks to make sure everyone made it out ok :: :: Waltzes back in to the castle :: :: Bars, locks, and barricades door :: :: Arms defense system :: Hehehe…suckers! Like I’d _really_ set up a self-destruct system like that! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/167 "2005-04-22T17:20:32Z")
Swine! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/168 "2005-04-22T18:00:00Z")
:: Well outside the Initiation Complex (which does, in fact, look like a castle from some angles), the harried party gathers. They look around. :: :: There is a pause. :: :: The Complex fails to explode. : :: They wait some more. :: :: There is no disturbance but the wind blowing through the trees and across the parking lot. :: Um… I wonder whether **Hal** was being completely honest about that self-destruct? [off] Thanks, Hal. I was wondering how to reconcile an exploded initation chamber with the events in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=312868) thread… [/off] ---
**Author:** ![Improbability](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Improbability](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improbability)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/169 "2005-04-22T18:02:18Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Hey! Weren’t you released in post #158? Oh so I was, but I’m so traumatised I am from everything, it completely slipped my mind. I don’t think I’m ever going to be the same again! ::runs for her life… looks back… runs even faster:: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/170 "2005-04-22T21:56:12Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Hehehe…suckers! Like I’d _really_ set up a self-destruct system like that! 😛 Bastard! Let’s blow it up with him still in there! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/171 "2005-04-22T22:21:53Z")
Why **Anaamika**! I’m _shocked_ at you! Proposing to do such a mean, horrible thing! (Besides…my automated defense systems would wipe you all off the map before you could raise a weapon against this place) Anyway, as always, I was motivated by only the most altruistic of reasons. You see, I had to get everyone out of here so I could start renovations! That’s right…pretty soon we’re going to have a brand spankin’ new, totally state-of-the-art initation complex! :: cue fanfare :: Now, since the labor force I employ is a bit…ummm…antisocial\*\*\*\*\*, I thought it best to clear everyone out while I directed things from the _EOOBOE_. See? Always thinking of others…that’s me… \*\*\*\*\* Ok, fine. They’re C.H.U.D.s…hey, they work cheap and they do a damn good job with masonry. You just _really_ don’t wanna be around during their lunch break. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/172 "2005-04-22T22:57:07Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Why **Anaamika**! I’m _shocked_ at you! Proposing to do such a mean, horrible thing! > Anyway, as always, I was motivated by only the most altruistic of reasons. You see, I had to get everyone out of here so I could start renovations! That’s right…pretty soon we’re going to have a brand spankin’ new, totally state-of-the-art initation complex! :: cue fanfare :: :mad: So far at your feet lie: Several varieties of RoboGoat The Squck A giant duck A RoboSquck And who knows what else. Do you really think for a second we’re going to trust you with any more initiation threads? You need to stop making robots! They’re too dangerous and they always get loose! - I’m conveniently forgetting, of course, that it was me who caused at least some of the trouble \* ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/173 "2005-04-23T03:32:16Z")
\ Which is exactly _why_ I’m building this brand new, state-of-the-art initation center! I mean, it’ll be totally foolproof. Once the vict…errr…new member is strapped into the Official Initation Chair, they’ll be merrily transported along the conveyer belt to all the various Initation Stations. And I’m laying off the robots on this one. Take a look at Station #3 – that’s 100% pure, real live US-of-A goat there. No robo-anything to be found. Sheesh! Some people…always against progress! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/174 "2005-04-24T00:05:03Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > \ > > Which is exactly _why_ I’m building this brand new, state-of-the-art initation center! > > I mean, it’ll be totally foolproof. Once the vict…errr…new member is strapped into the Official Initation Chair, they’ll be merrily transported along the conveyer belt to all the various Initation Stations. And I’m laying off the robots on this one. Take a look at Station #3 – that’s 100% pure, real live US-of-A goat there. No robo-anything to be found. > Sheesh! Some people…always against progress! Without even trying I can come up with a list of like 10 things that could go wrong, starting with the conveyor belt. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/175 "2005-04-24T18:11:50Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > :: Checks to make sure everyone made it out ok :: > :: Waltzes back in to the castle :: > :: Bars, locks, and barricades door :: > :: Arms defense system :: > > Hehehe…suckers! Like I’d _really_ set up a self-destruct system like that! 😛 _slight rustle behind **Hal Briston** _ _is standing there with an arrow–a lead-tipped one–pointed at his chest_ Dodge this! _fires_ ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/176 "2005-04-24T18:40:55Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > _fires_ Um… **Kythereia**? According to \*\*Hal’s \*\* link, the lead arrow creates uncontrollable list. And, um…you happen to be the only one still in the castle with Hal. Why’s the castle rocking? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/177 "2005-04-24T18:42:06Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > lead arrow creates uncontrollable list. lust :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/178 "2005-04-24T18:53:55Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Um… **Kythereia**? According to \*\*Hal’s \*\* link, the lead arrow creates uncontrollable list. [Not](http://astrology.about.com/od/sunsignlove/l/aa062199.htm) [according](http://www.dl.ket.org/latin1/mythology/1deities/gods/lesser/eros.htm) [to](http://www.timelessmyths.com/classical/primeval.html) [_my_](http://www.montgomerybell.com/~gaffnee/latin1-nlereview.htm) [sources!](http://mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk/stonecarve/page2.html) (In all seriousness, there _are_ a couple of variants on the myth–the most common one is that the lead-tipped arrow causes all thoughts of love to disappear, but others say that they cause true love, like you mentioned, or unrequited love. I’m just going with what I know :)) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/179 "2005-04-24T19:31:19Z")
Well, they’re \*your \* arrows, so you get to define what they do. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/180 "2005-04-24T19:40:03Z")
Thank you kindly. For that… _passes over a golden arrow_ Use it how you wish. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=10)