# New Rapture Date has been set: April 5, 2004. Massive Doper Bacchanal Schd. April 6. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 7, 2004, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931 "2004-02-07T01:42:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/1 "2004-02-07T01:42:48Z")
[Heathens](http://www.sanfordherald.com/articles/2004/02/03/news/editorial/edit04.txt) ye were warned. (half way down) Now, on to more serious matters, whose bringing what for the gala festival? ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/2 "2004-02-07T01:54:26Z")
> [@](#): > > That day, prophesied over 2,600 years ago, will bring to a screeching halt all activity taking place in this world! For starters, money will be worthless, there will be no election this November and sports contests _may be_ over! [emphasis added] It’s the end of everything in the world! _Maybe_ even sports! ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/3 "2004-02-07T02:02:29Z")
Yay, no election and no sports and no bills… Can I say this sounds great 😉 I’ll bring some appetizers and a nice big cake. Unless he is still being presumptuous… ---
**Author:** ![NotMrKnowItAll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/6bbea6/32.png) [@NotMrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotMrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/4 "2004-02-07T02:02:48Z")
Well huh, my paramour’s birthday. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/5 "2004-02-07T02:13:12Z")
I’m thinking April 6th will be a good day to find a used car at a really good price. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/6 "2004-02-07T02:15:14Z")
> [@](#): > > whose bringing what for the gala festival? I’ll bring the virgins to deflower, and lotsa booze. And chips. ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/7 "2004-02-07T02:21:25Z")
Marshmallows ---
**Author:** ![RotorHead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85e7bf/32.png) [@RotorHead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RotorHead)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/8 "2004-02-07T02:27:08Z")
I thought this year’s rapture was scheduled for April _7th_. Musta got my calculations mixed up somehow. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/9 "2004-02-07T02:32:49Z")
A Monday?! Since its right before Easter, I will bring hollow chocolate bunnies. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/10 "2004-02-07T02:34:48Z")
When Jesus come back, bring pie. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/11 "2004-02-07T03:29:11Z")
Zephaniah 1:7: > [@](#): > > Hold thy peace at the presence of the Lord GOD: for the day of the LORD is at hand: for the LORD hath prepared a sacrifice, he hath bid his guests. This Bible passage fucking SCREAMS April 5, 2004. This guy is **good**. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/12 "2004-02-07T03:30:04Z")
Just in case, I´ll wear clean underwear that day. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Long\_Road](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@The\_Long\_Road](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Long_Road)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/13 "2004-02-07T03:36:56Z")
> [@LilyoftheValley](#): > > [emphasis added] > > It’s the end of everything in the world! _Maybe_ even sports! I get the feeling that two groups we don’t have to worry about losing to the rapture will be athletes and politicians. ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/14 "2004-02-07T03:48:54Z")
I just knew Bush was going to cancel the election somehow… looks like he called in a favor from his pal upstairs. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/15 "2004-02-07T03:53:53Z")
> [@Mr2001](#): > > I just knew Bush was going to cancel the election somehow… looks like he called in a favor from his pal upstairs. 😉 Well, Bush has been saying that he wants to make those tax cuts permanent. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/16 "2004-02-07T03:56:41Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > When Jesus come back, bring pie. Oh, don’t you know, He’s already here? > [@](#): > > Forty years ago I was told by the Lord God, “I’m Jesus!” I’ll bring the barbie and an esky full of decent Aussie beer. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/17 "2004-02-07T05:39:48Z")
But, but I don’t wanta die underage!!! Can’t we move this rapture to April 19, say around 2 AM EST when I’m too drunk to even care? ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/18 "2004-02-07T05:53:28Z")
Am I the only one who actually read the article? > [@](#): > > \*\*Forty years ago I was told by the Lord God, “I’m Jesus!” A year ago I asked Paul Revere, pastor of Embassy of Heaven Church, Stayton, Ore., to make a worldwide announcement that: "Christ, the Lord is alive, living on the earth in the flesh. And based on Zephaniah 1:7, the day of the Lord would occur on Preparation Day for Passover, April 16, 2003. Paul answered my request by setting up the Web site, [www.2ndcomingofchrist.com](http://www.2ndcomingofchrist.com), containing personal information I had mailed him about myself and my prophecy. > > That prophecy turned out to be presumptuous and I am now prophesying that "The day of the Lord will occur on April 5, 2004! That day, prophesied over 2,600 years ago, will bring to a screeching halt all activity taking place in this world! \*\* Last year’s Rapture didn’t pan out, so it’s been rescheduled. Sorry for the delay, folks… You gotta love people whose website begins with a left-hand sidebar headed with, “Currently In Jail”. [http://www.embassyofheaven.com/](http://www.embassyofheaven.com/) Oh, and BTW, Frank J. Potter sez that not only is he Jesus, but he’s also the Prophet, predicted to come to Earth just before the Second Coming. However, he would like to make it clear that he is not ALSO the Prophet Elijah, who is also supposed to be coming–Arnold Murray, Pastor of Shepherd’s Chapel, Gravette, is Elijah. [http://www.2ndcomingofchrist.com/whoisj.htm](http://www.2ndcomingofchrist.com/whoisj.htm) I love the Internet. ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/19 "2004-02-07T06:09:26Z")
From the website > [@](#): > > Conditions for Salvation > > 1. Disconnect yourself from the world. Read 2 Corinthians 6:14; James 4:4; and 1 John 2:15-17. Owe no one anything but love per Romans 13:8. In other words, get “Out-of-Debt!” Can anyone loan me enough money to get out of debt? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/20 "2004-02-07T07:48:22Z")
> [@Ale](#): > > Just in case, I´ll wear clean underwear that day. 😃 On that blessed day, let us all go commando! Can I hear an AMEN? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931.md?page=2)