# New Rapture Date has been set: April 5, 2004. Massive Doper Bacchanal Schd. April 6. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 7, 2004, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931 "2004-02-07T01:42:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/21 "2004-02-07T10:57:51Z")
April 5th? Hmmm. That’s going to be a Monday, the day after a very good Mensa orgy – er – I mean RG in Dayton. If I go, I’ll be starting my debauchery a few days earlier, but I’ll be happy to extend it for you lot and throw in a few batches of chocolate truffles, aka chocolate heroin. This being the Rapture and all, calories, fat, etc. don’t count! Wait a minute. :Checks calendar: For all but Orthodox Christians, that’s also the week between Palm Sunday and Easter, which is supposed to be the holiest time of the year, I think, and certainly a time when we Episcopalians are supposed to be particularly aware of our own arrogance and sinful nature. After all, part of the Episcopal Church’s tradition on Palm Sunday is to have the congregation saying en masse “Crucify Him!”, the “Him” in question being Jesus Christ. Now, my boss might make a scheduling mistake like this, but I’m assuming God won’t – it puts a serious dent in the whole “all-knowing” business. 😉 If he’s wrong about the Rapture, can we have the Doper debauch anyway? 😉 CJ ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/22 "2004-02-07T14:33:28Z")
Eeee, Siege, what you just _said_–“if” he’s wrong? Girl… [shakes head sadly] - snerk \* 😃 Jesus needs to do a quick review of His own Word, seems to me, [Matthew 24:36](http://www.biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible?passage=matthew+24&NIV_version=yes&language=english), to be precise: “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/23 "2004-02-07T14:40:44Z")
**Paul Revere** , pastor of Embassy of Heaven Church. The Jesus is coming! The Jesus is coming! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/24 "2004-02-07T16:17:53Z")
\*It’s the end of the world as we know it…and I feel fineeee. \* ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/25 "2004-02-07T16:58:37Z")
April 6 will be my 33rd birthday. Jesus was 33 years old when he got hung out to dry. Therefore, I am Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/26 "2004-02-07T17:00:57Z")
I can bring a cake. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/27 "2004-02-07T17:02:13Z")
> [@Duck Duck Goose](#): > > Eeee, Siege, what you just _said_–“if” he’s wrong? "Good grief, I said _if_! I meant WHEN he’s wrong! I’m doomed. One little slip like that can cause the Great Doper Bacchanal to pass you by…" ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/28 "2004-02-07T17:11:41Z")
Gordon Bennett. Do you think this person will even have the grace to look slightly embarrassed on April 6th? _:: shakes head sadly ::_ ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/29 "2004-02-07T17:41:28Z")
> [@vanilla](#): > > Since its right before Easter, I will bring hollow chocolate bunnies. It’s been 2,600 years waiting for this event, and you won’t even spring for the _solid_ chocolate bunnies? ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/30 "2004-02-07T19:15:44Z")
**Bubbadog** taps **Frank J Potter** on the shoulder and whispers quite nicely," Excuse me sir. I believe the _real_ Jesus wants you to cut this shit out." > [@LilyoftheValley](#): > > It’s been 2,600 years waiting for this event, and you won’t even spring for the _solid_ chocolate bunnies? The **Solid Chocolate Rapture Bunnies** disbanded and no longer record together. I’m up for a reunion concert on April 6th. Who’s with me? Bubba ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/31 "2004-02-07T19:21:49Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > When Jesus come back, bring pie. That made me laugh so hard it hurled me into a coughing spell. As to the rapture day, drat. I was looking forward to the spring Martinville race. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/32 "2004-02-07T19:30:05Z")
> [@vibrotronica](#): > > Therefore, I am Jesus. No, **I’m** Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/33 "2004-02-07T19:32:37Z")
I’m Jesus. And so’s my wife. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/34 "2004-02-07T20:10:58Z")
Do we know which time-zone its going to start in? I’m thinking those of us who get an early start could set up a site letting people know what to wear, which drinks to bring (if it gets going in Australia early we’ll have plenty of beer) etc. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/35 "2004-02-07T21:22:17Z")
Quoth Mark Knopfler: “Two men say they’re Jesus. One of them must be wrong.” ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/36 "2004-02-07T22:14:31Z")
I’ll bring the blowup sex dolls filled with helium. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/37 "2004-02-07T23:12:39Z")
I figure I’ll swing by a couple of electronics stores (since the guys have all been raptured, they won’t mind) and pick up a kicking sound system. Put me down for DJ. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/38 "2004-02-08T03:39:20Z")
> [@Steve Wright](#): > > Do you think this person will even have the grace to look slightly embarrassed on April 6th? Well, he certainly seems quite comfortable with the fact that he was wrong last year, so I would guess that when it yet again fails to come off, he’ll simply shrug cheerfully and flip to “2005” in his daily planner. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2004, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/39 "2004-02-08T05:20:25Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > I’ll bring the \* blowup sex dolls \* filled with helium. This would be a redundancy and a great band name. Maybe we could get the Stones, I don’t think they are going to get raptured. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931/40 "2004-02-08T05:37:01Z")
> [@Vagus](#): > > Do we know which time-zone its going to start in? > > I’m thinking those of us who get an early start could set up a site letting people know what to wear, which drinks to bring (if it gets going in Australia early we’ll have plenty of beer) etc. > > 😃 Time zones… hmmmm. Well, so bad the Concorde is no longer available, it would make a nice travel package: “Get raptured, TWICE!!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rapture-date-has-been-set-april-5-2004-massive-doper-bacchanal-schd-april-6/227931.md?page=3)