# New relationship **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 22, 2022, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957 "2022-12-22T12:59:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Undeposable\_Hand](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_undeposable_hand/32/8502_2.png) [@The\_Undeposable\_Hand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Undeposable_Hand)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/21 "2023-01-05T17:35:20Z")
To be fair though, you were also forcing a relationship with him because you want a boyfriend, and aren’t really being too choosey. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/22 "2023-01-05T17:40:48Z")
He was the one who wanted a relationship. I was fine. He really was caring. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/23 "2023-01-05T17:46:48Z")
I’m so sorry. But BIG points to you for spotting the red flags early.\* That’s fantastic. 🥳 🍾 🥂 You really don’t have to give a reason or explain. If you do decide to give a reason, make sure it’s one that doesn’t leave the door open. By that I mean don’t make it sound like your reluctance is due to some circumstance that might change (unless it’s something like “when hell freezes over”). Make it something categorical/final like “I’m not dating anymore” or “I don’t see a future for us.” Also, do cut off ALL contact. No texts or emails or getting together to explain anything. Some people not only can’t take no for an answer, they can’t HEAR “no” when someone says it to them. So any contact, to them, sounds like _maybe_. * * * * * * \*One of my exes got drunk every night and it took me six years to figure out that was a Bad Thing. 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/24 "2023-01-05T17:59:37Z")
Thank you, Thelma. I do have a reason though- hes not a christian. Thats being unequally yoked. And that isn’t something that will change. About to tell him. I plan to avoid texts from him. Hes on my facebook page, not sure if I should delete him. Even though I realized it early on, hes going to be broken hearted, maybe he’ll find someone compatible. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/25 "2023-01-05T18:00:18Z")
You’re talking to someone whos gone 10 years, twice, without a boyfriend. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Undeposable\_Hand](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_undeposable_hand/32/8502_2.png) [@The\_Undeposable\_Hand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Undeposable_Hand)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/26 "2023-01-05T18:08:20Z")
What is the relevance of this? ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/27 "2023-01-05T18:08:41Z")
Of what? I made a thread, discussed boyfriend, then discussed that it was a mistake. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/28 "2023-01-05T19:30:53Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Thank you, Thelma. > I do have a reason though- hes not a christian. Thats being unequally yoked. And that isn’t something that will change. I agree that is a reason to break up (one of many). But what if he says he will convert? Or that he wants you to lead him to the Lord? > [@](#): > > About to tell him. I plan to avoid texts from him. This is your Auntie Thelma channeling Yoda: don’t **plan** to avoid texts, AVOID THEM. State that clearly to yourself and stick to it. Block his number. > [@](#): > > Hes on my facebook page, not sure if I should delete him. Delete him. No question about it. You do not want to know anything about what is happening with him, and vice versa. > [@](#): > > Even though I realized it early on, hes going to be broken hearted, maybe he’ll find someone compatible. Look at it this way: you (at worst) don’t love him and (at best) are ambivalent about him. You’re freeing him to find the person who WILL love him wholeheartedly. Right now by hanging on, you’re getting in the way of HIS future well-being. And believe me: he absolutely will find someone. I can promise you that. Clear the decks for your future AND his. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/29 "2023-01-05T19:32:52Z")
You do give good advice! I was waiting to see if someone would suggest un-facebooking him. He doesnt want to convert. Only God can lead him to get saved. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/30 "2023-01-05T19:54:01Z")
And now you have a new, proven skill: you can see red flags and heed them. That’s worth a million bucks right there! All the best to you. 😘 ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/31 "2023-01-05T21:21:10Z")
I did it. I feel good. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/32 "2023-01-05T21:29:18Z")
Yay! Woo-Hoo! 🎆 🎇 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/33 "2023-01-05T23:05:46Z")
Good job, oh wise **SunLo**. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/34 "2023-01-05T23:07:04Z")
Ya know, I would prefer Suntan…🏖 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957/35 "2023-01-06T04:01:26Z")
Then **Suntan** it is! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-relationship/976957.md?page=1)