# New Rules on the SDMB **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [April 1, 2014, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089 "2014-04-01T15:49:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/21 "2014-04-01T17:44:54Z")
But, but … my pet orangutan really has an STD and it really sucks! Now I can’t pit said STD??? (He also likes Beiber, but I can refrain from pitting that…) ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/22 "2014-04-01T17:47:02Z")
> [@XT](#): > > Can I get either a puppy or a pony instead? I’m sure they’d love to expedite the mailing of the latter to you, if only they could come up with a name for the service. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/23 "2014-04-01T17:47:14Z")
Excellent suggestions, and very welcome. However, I recommend raising the price of indulgences. I am feeling a bit bilious. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/24 "2014-04-01T17:48:34Z")
> [@Karen\_Lingel](#): > > But, but … my pet orangutan really has an STD and it really sucks! I would suggest using a dental dam then. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/25 "2014-04-01T17:49:40Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Am I the only one who wants to buy everything on Thinkgeek right now? I want the Mr. Beard Beard Machine! ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/26 "2014-04-01T17:49:55Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I’m sure they’d love to expedite the mailing of the latter to you, if only they could come up with a name for the service. Well, if they want to solicit potential names, I’d be willing to express a few thoughts on the matter. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/27 "2014-04-01T18:04:39Z")
This is outrageous. As of this moment, I’m leaving the board forever! ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/28 "2014-04-01T18:11:35Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > This is outrageous. As of this moment, I’m leaving the board forever! It’s the kittens, right? I figured that would drive some from the board. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/29 "2014-04-01T18:37:28Z")
> [@](#): > > This is outrageous. As of this moment, I’m leaving the board forever! I feel differently about this than you do. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/30 "2014-04-01T18:40:14Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > This is outrageous. As of this moment, I’m leaving the board forever! Fine. But we’re going to have the new rules anyway. Have them **even harder**. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/31 "2014-04-01T19:19:29Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > Can we just give you a credit card so we can run a tab? Really. I’ve got a spreadsheet going just to try to figure out how much to transfer from savings account to checking account to afford my (future) time here, and it’s _ **freaking** _ me out!! ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/32 "2014-04-01T19:23:38Z")
From now on, every time I post in a thread, someone must immediately remark on my presence. “Hey, look…it’s MOIDALIZE!” Or something to that effect. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/33 "2014-04-01T19:25:26Z")
Personally I want a cut of the revenue I generate by all the things I post that make people want to buy a stockpile of indulgences. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/34 "2014-04-01T19:31:08Z")
This is the funniest you can come up with this year? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/35 "2014-04-01T19:32:12Z")
Don’t forget rule number 6: well, you all know what that is. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/36 "2014-04-01T19:35:48Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > This is the funniest you can come up with this year? No, but we’d get in big trouble if we did the funniest things we thought of.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/37 "2014-04-01T19:51:15Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > This is the funniest you can come up with this year? It has a certain understated eloquence. I like it. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/38 "2014-04-01T20:14:09Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > Don’t forget rule number 6: well, you all know what that is. Is that like Rule 34? ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/39 "2014-04-01T20:24:23Z")
Okay, FFers. Who’s effing with the F? ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089/40 "2014-04-01T20:29:41Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > No, but we’d get in big trouble if we did the funniest things we thought of.😃 Only with the survivors. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules-on-the-sdmb/685089.md?page=3)