# New Rules **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 10, 2000, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139 "2000-07-10T19:40:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/41 "2000-07-11T18:10:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Satan \* > > **Okay, I don’t blame anyone for taking me literally.** Notice that is the first thing I said in the statement, and none of the rest of the OP is blaming anyone but myself for the lack of communication. * * * Yer pal, Satan _I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Three months, two days, 16 hours, 9 minutes and 23 seconds. 3746 cigarettes not smoked, saving $468.36. Life saved: 1 week, 6 days, 10 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/42 "2000-07-11T18:23:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Satan \* > > **Okay, I don’t blame anyone for taking me literally.** Notice that is the first thing I said in the statement, and none of the rest of the OP is blaming anyone but myself for the lack of communication. * * * Yer pal, Satan _I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Three months, two days, 16 hours, 9 minutes and 23 seconds. 3746 cigarettes not smoked, saving $468.36. Life saved: 1 week, 6 days, 10 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/43 "2000-07-11T18:42:09Z")
What’s an adam yax? ---
**Author:** ![hflathead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecb155/32.png) [@hflathead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hflathead)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/44 "2000-07-11T18:57:50Z")
but after reading the pointless, gag-me posts from Chris25 in MPSIMS today(yeh, I know that’s where it belongs) , I jumped down. When a fresh, first day member comes in and jumps up and down, waiving their hands wildly over their head, shouting “Look at me! Over here! Why don’t you send out the band and welcome MEEE!!!???” it makes me wonder if Satan has a valid point. Once I cleaned the chunks of taco salad out of my keyboard, I pondered the situation and have a solution. The human genome is mapped now, so SDMB could just have all new members submit a DNA sample to identify all of the unworthy member applicants before allowing them in! No more sub-intellectuals, unruley children, trolls or sock-puppets. We could have a message board consisting of supreme posters, a perfect ether-world, the master e-race. later, Tom (disclaimer: Yes, it is sarcastic. No, I’m not a Nazi, nor a supremist. And yes, this is the Pit, so fuck you if you can’t take a joke!) ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/45 "2000-07-11T19:04:57Z")
[Homer voice on] Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . . . Taco salad.[/Homer voice off] ---
**Author:** ![BigJoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9bd4f/32.png) [@BigJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigJoe)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/46 "2000-07-11T20:02:27Z")
Diane - LOL! hflathead - Pretty much the same as my reaction to Chris25. She’s either a sock puppet or an attention starved idiot. Either way, I didn’t waste any time on her. In response to the OP, my profile doesn’t have my e-mail listed because it’s my real name (I’ve had it for years & don’t want to change it). I have thought about getting a free account & forwarding it - but then Satan would have to ignore me, anyway. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/47 "2000-07-11T20:05:05Z")
[QUOTE] \* And I will take this opportunity to say to the poster who put in their sig “13 more posts until Satan acknowledges my existance,” or something to that effect: BRILLIANT!\* Thank you, thank you very much. (blush) ---
**Author:** ![horowitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@horowitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horowitz)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/48 "2000-07-11T21:06:01Z")
This shit cracks me up. On one hand you have the click of old time regular posters that for one reason or another newer posters look to for a stamp of approval. On another hand you have the timid newbie poster, like the one hflathead mentioned, bowing down at the altar of the regulars and gladly taking their wacks. Thank you sir may I have another. And on the other hand (wait there is no other hand) you have the asshole troll that comes in and starts pushing peoples buttons and gets all sorts of attention. If a torch bearing mob is your idea of attention. How many posts does it take to learn the secret handshake. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/49 "2000-07-11T21:35:59Z")
> [@](#): > > How many posts does it take to learn the secret handshake. We could tell ya, but then we would have to kill ya. I will say that it comes after the secret password and secret knock but well before the blood and spit grip. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/50 "2000-07-11T23:34:30Z")
Don’t forget about the beat-ins and gangbangs, Diane. They gotta be able to get through those WAY before the secret handshake. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/51 "2000-07-12T00:02:14Z")
Well, I’m about to hit 1000, and the beatings have already started. 😉 There are gang-bangs too. _Sigh_ Nobody told me about those. But I can handle it. (I hope) ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/52 "2000-07-12T00:14:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pepperlandgirl \* > > **There are gang-bangs too. _Sigh_ Nobody told me about those. But I can handle it. (I hope)** I got the US distribution rights for the cinematic release! * * * Yer pal, Satan _I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Three months, two days, 22 hours, 14 minutes and 51 seconds. 3757 cigarettes not smoked, saving $469.63. Life saved: 1 week, 6 days, 1 hour, 5 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/53 "2000-07-12T00:36:11Z")
WHOA STOP! What’s the first rule about Dope Club? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mods - I think it would be in the best interest for everyone involved if you would close this thread and we all forget it was ever mentioned. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Frannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Frannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frannie)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/54 "2000-07-12T02:31:23Z")
I have posted 27 times. I’m sure many people think my sig is stupid, but I like it. I’m fairly certain that this is my only Pit post. I have an AOL address (although not mentioned by the OP, I guess that’s bad). - BONUS \* I have a homepage (I created it three minutes ago, and because I’m trying to keep up with the All Star game, it’s pretty basic). There. ---
**Author:** ![horowitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@horowitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horowitz)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/55 "2000-07-12T05:18:54Z")
Cecil Adams 64 posts? ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/56 "2000-07-12T14:47:37Z")
What have we learned today, children? Kissing ass **works**! ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/57 "2000-07-12T18:40:55Z")
> [@](#): > > magdalene > Member > > Registered: Jun 2000 > Posts: 100 Welcome aboard! Even if this means I am out of your sig… 😉 * * * Yer pal, Satan _I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Three months, three days, 16 hours, 40 minutes and 41 seconds. 3787 cigarettes not smoked, saving $473.47. Life saved: 1 week, 6 days, 3 hours, 35 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139/58 "2000-07-12T19:16:37Z")
I have a feeling our Biblical namesakes have looong been acquainted, darlin’. Who d’ya think taught me my wicked ways? I hope this thread has given you some time to CALM THE FUCK DOWN! You goat-felching leader of all that is evil! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-rules/25139.md?page=2)