# NEW Stupid Republican Idea of the Day (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 22, 2020, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140 "2020-06-22T07:01:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 239
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2021, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4778 "2021-04-30T21:47:54Z")
A bottle of Wite-Out and a Sharpie being the tradeiest of trade secrets. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4779 "2021-05-01T00:03:37Z")
Lin Wood: Joe Biden never got more than 2% of the vote in his life. > ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4780 "2021-05-01T00:32:38Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Hell, let’s cut off internet service to Florida, period. Let them all go walk on the beach or read books or something. **Phone service can continue-- but land lines only.**   This. Eliminating all that ambient 5G radiation in the air, the Centner Schools can safely uncover their windows again. Win-Win! ETA: But, have a special remote land-line relay for @LSLGuy. > [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > But the documents don’t explain why they are using UV light on the ballots, which ballot experts claim could damage the documents. Two “explanations” I’ve seen, none of them from “first party” sources: (1) Looking for watermarks, or absence thereof. By this, they will be able to distinguish genuine ballots from counterfeits. (2) Looking for fingerprints on the ballots, which allegedly persist and will be visible under UV light. Ballots lacking fingerprints will be evidence of mechanically mass-produced bogus robo-ballots. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4781 "2021-05-01T01:50:52Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > A federal judge has ordered the “vote counting” company “reviewing” the votes in Arizona to turn over their documents which explain their procedures. But the documents don’t explain why they are using UV light on the ballots, which ballot experts claim could damage the documents. > The company tried to fight the order, claiming turning over their processes would reveal their trade secrets. Why would Arizona hire a private company to count votes?? They don’t trust themselves??? In my state, we just count them ourselves. As for this NINJA company… " Its lawyer argued in court this week that it could not [reveal its “trade secrets”](https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/politics/elections/2021/04/25/cyber-ninjas-wants-to-keep-its-arizona-election-recount-secret/7379117002/?utm_campaign=wp_the_daily_202&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&wpisrc=nl_daily202) on how it would conduct the recount, and wanted to bar oversight of its audit process." … Wasn’t that what conservatives lied was their concern in the first place??? Republicans, how many motherfucking question marks are appropriate when attempting to understand your insane stupidity??? ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4782 "2021-05-01T02:30:22Z")
Be careful! Asking so many rational, reality-based questions about this situation could cause your head to explode. And you won’t get any satisfactory answers anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4783 "2021-05-01T08:44:11Z")
Tucker Carlson is deeply concerned that the government isn’t doing anything about UFOs. I can only presume it’s because he thinks the extraterrestrials are going to take our jobs and vote for Democrats. > **[Tucker Carlson Thinks Intelligence Agencies Should Worry More About Aliens...](https://www.thewrap.com/tucker-carlson-thinks-intelligence-agencies-should-worry-more-about-aliens-video/)** > > "These objects are potentially a very grave threat to nation-states," Tucker says about UFOs ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4784 "2021-05-01T14:50:31Z")
Is that before or after they finalize plans for dealing with the Zombie Apocalypse? A few years back I was at a town-hall session with a local politico where someone asked — in all seriousness — what plans were in place for the ZA. I don’t recall the exact response, but she handled it far more gracefully than I would have. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4785 "2021-05-01T14:52:31Z")
> [@OttoDaFe](#): > > A few years back I was at a town-hall session with a local politico where someone asked — in all seriousness — what plans were in place for the ZA. I don’t recall the exact response, but she handled it far more gracefully than I would have. Why do you care? You’re just going to side with the zombies anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4786 "2021-05-01T16:22:15Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Lin Wood: Joe Biden never got more than 2% of the vote in his life. Aaaaa that’s just another example of his masterly sense of humour, no? > [@Senegoid](#): > > Two “explanations” I’ve seen, none of them from “first party” sources: (1) Looking for watermarks, or absence thereof. By this, they will be able to distinguish genuine ballots from counterfeits. (2) Looking for fingerprints on the ballots, which allegedly persist and will be visible under UV light. Ballots lacking fingerprints will be evidence of mechanically mass-produced bogus robo-ballots. Other options are dog-sniffers who can detect vaccine essences (!) from individual ballots, and bringing back the [votomatic.](https://verifiedvoting.org/election-system/ess-votomatic/) > [@Smapti](#): > > Tucker Carlson is deeply concerned that the government isn’t doing anything about UFOs. > > I can only presume it’s because he thinks the extraterrestrials are going to take our jobs and vote for Democrats. from the article: > [@](#): > > “There are a lot of these, it’s not like, you know, some drunk guy on a road in rural New Hampshire saw something weird… **this is the U.S. military regularly, very often recording these objects** ,” Tucker said. Wow - he even has the inside scoop that this is recorded all the time. Impressive. ---
**Author:** ![TheGunIsMightierThanThePen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thegunismightierthanthepen/32/2981_2.png) [@TheGunIsMightierThanThePen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheGunIsMightierThanThePen)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4787 "2021-05-01T17:06:11Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > DeSantis is about to sign a bill making it illegal for social media platforms to ban users. I can’t wait till he has to explain to the Florida taxpayers why he’s spending millions of dollars to defend this law from the multi million dollar lawsuits Twitter and Facebook will file immediately. Or just wait until a horde of liberals begin trolling him on social media so hard that he has to backtrack - _Oh, I actually meant it’s only illegal to ban conservative users!_ ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4788 "2021-05-01T17:17:08Z")
> dog-sniffers who can detect vaccine essences (!) I confess that after my COVID vax, I traveled back in time to illegally vote in that election. For a DEMOCRAT. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4789 "2021-05-01T17:34:09Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Two “explanations” I’ve seen, none of them from “first party” sources: (1) Looking for watermarks, or absence thereof. By this, they will be able to distinguish genuine ballots from counterfeits. Arizona ballots don’t use watermarks, at least according to the stories I’ve seen. > **[Fact check: False QAnon-related conspiracy theory claims Arizona ballots are...](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/04/28/fact-check-qanon-watermarked-ballot-conspiracy-theory-still-false/7388639002/)** > > Social media users resurrected the QAnon-related watermarked ballot claim amid an audit in Arizona. This conspiracy theory is still false. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4790 "2021-05-01T18:16:14Z")
Newsmax criticizes Biden for stooping down to pick a dandelion for Jill. "I say it was a planted dandelion there. Who knows?” > **[Newsmax Goes After Joe Biden for Picking a Dandelion for Jill](https://www.thedailybeast.com/oan-goes-after-joe-biden-for-picking-a-dandelion-for-jill)** > > Host Grant Stinchfield suggested White House staff had planted the weed beforehand to facilitate what he sarcastically called a “sweet gesture.” ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4791 "2021-05-01T18:20:21Z")
Senator Marsha Blackburn claims that Biden’s plan for free pre-K and junior college would force people to go to school whether they want to or not. BTW, her state, Tennessee, already has free junior college without anybody being forced to go. Her spokesman said she misspoke. > **[Fact check: Sen. Marsha Blackburn falsely claims Biden would force people to...](https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2021/04/29/politics/fact-check-blackburn-biden-families-plan-pre-k-college/index.html)** > > Republican Tennessee Sen. Marsha Blackburn tried Wednesday to portray President Joe Biden's new $1.8 trillion American Families Plan proposal as an "anti-family" initiative that would reduce Americans' control over their own lives. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4792 "2021-05-01T19:11:48Z")
RawStory, FWTW, [claims to have spotted a Capitol terrorist involved in](https://www.rawstory.com/arizona-audit-rep-anthony-kern/) the Arizona ballot re ~~scam~~ count. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4793 "2021-05-01T21:11:53Z")
Ahhh…it’s all coming together. Remember that one time when Rudy picked up a woman in a bar, got her drunk and took her to a hearing where she claimed **ALL** the votes were fraudulent? Now we are finding out **NONE** of the ballots were watermarked? It all fits together now, **ALL** the votes in Arizona were faked. Seriously, I wonder how many of these people _really_ believe the massive fraud thing and really think they’re going to find it? Because it might not be that easy to “find” votes - if it was, Kemp and Raffensperger would’ve done it. What if they don’t find anything and aren’t able to rig the recount? I guess the response will be that the Democrats are really good cheaters but no one knows how they do it. It’s suspected that they cheated by convincing massive numbers of voters, voters that didn’t want to Make America Great Again, to request absentee ballots or go to the polls on Election Day to vote for Joe Biden. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4794 "2021-05-01T21:25:02Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Tucker Carlson is deeply concerned that the government isn’t doing anything about UFOs. If I had the money to buy Faux Noise, I’d basically turn the channel into _real_ whackadoodlery, with wall-to-wall UFOs and ancient astronauts and bizarre fringe historiography and whatnot in place of the existing content. I’d dial it up enough to embarrass even _this_ crew, content in the knowledge that I was replacing the smallpox of misinformation with a relatively benign (and entertaining and profitable) cowpox of trivial nonsense. ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4795 "2021-05-01T22:02:58Z")
The example of the History Channel suggests you could make decent money doing that. ---
**Author:** ![aurora\_maire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aurora_maire/32/328_2.png) [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4796 "2021-05-01T23:19:36Z")
> [@OttoDaFe](#): > > Is that before or after they finalize plans for dealing with the Zombie Apocalypse? A few years ago, the CDC put out some literature about surviving the Zombie Apocalypse. [https://www.cdc.gov/cpr/zombie/index.htm](https://www.cdc.gov/cpr/zombie/index.htm) Of course, this was all in fun, just educating people about disaster awareness. But there are some stupid republicans who are using this as proof that the vaccines are going to turn everyone into zombies. I’ve been keeping an eye on the Facebook page of a high school friend’s daughter after I found out she had been at the Capitol on Jan. 6. She is posting information from some “doctor” who claims that animals used for testing the vaccines turned cannnibalistic. And she’s using this CDC guide as proof that “OMG they knew!” And lots of people believe this. They are actually afraid that their loved ones will be zombies in 4-8 months. Just incredibly stupid and insane. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2021, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/4797 "2021-05-01T23:26:21Z")
> [@aurora\_maire](#): > > But there are some stupid republicans who are using this as proof that the vaccines are going to turn everyone into zombies. Why would zombies object to turning more people into zombies? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140.md?page=238) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140.md?page=240)