# NEW Stupid Republican Idea of the Day (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 22, 2020, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140 "2020-06-22T07:01:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 263
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5258 "2021-05-22T12:53:13Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Madison Cawthorn claims that the number one thing on his constituents’ minds is the “crisis at the border”. The border that’s 1600 miles from his constituency in North Carolina. > [https://twitter.com/acyn/status/1395157645787422720](https://twitter.com/acyn/status/1395157645787422720) I’m in Cawthorne’s district and right now I’m more concerned about the fact my coffee cup is empty than anything going on at any border. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5259 "2021-05-22T13:40:06Z")
Biden is responsible for coffee shortages now?!? 😱 😱 ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5260 "2021-05-22T13:47:29Z")
No, I think **Catamount** drinks Chik-Fil-A Sauce to get going in the morning… ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5261 "2021-05-22T13:48:25Z")
I received a canvass from my state’s Republican party recently. They still drink the Kool-Aid and come back for seconds. Under Political Profile, they ask: > Did you vote for Donald Trump in the 2020 Presidential election? > Choices: Yes, No, Unsure Unsure? As in I’m too brain-damaged to remember, or Dominion changed my vote? Under General Issues: > Do you approve or disapprove of the Democrats’ agenda to raise taxes, provide free health care and college tuition for all, take away our freedoms, open our borders to all immigrants, enact dangerous abortion policies, pack the Supreme Court, make Washington D.C. a state, and abolish the Electoral College? > Do you believe Big-Tech Oligarchs, the national news media, and social medial sites have a strong bias against all things Republican and fail to tell America’s voters the real facts about our policies, goals, and accomplishments? The 5 questions that follow are variations of griping about being banned from social media for spreading disinformation and calling for riots. Under Domestic issues, questions about immigration control, Medicare for all, and defunding the police. Then, this telling one: > Do you agree with Republicans that the best way to ensure every child in American has access to the best education possible is by supporting charter schools and voucher programs despite the fierce opposition of the Democrats and teachers’ unions? So the best way to handle poverty is to pretend it doesn’t exist. Plus, teachers are obviously overpaid if they have such a powerful union to bully our governments around like that. > Do you believe that our nation’s schools should once again teach our children American civics, including how the Constitution works and its importance to liberty? So NOW they’re concerned about the Constitution after Trump wiped his ass with it? He couldn’t even read it. He just heard it had something about the right to bear arms and that was good enough. > Do you think we should continue President Trump’s policy to pursue fair trade deals and renegotiate trade deals and negotiate trade policies with other countries as a means of boosting America’s economy by protecting and creating jobs, increasing America’s wages, and reducing our nation’s trade deficit? You mean like how tariffs cost our farmers’ incomes, caused industries to relocate outside the US, and sent our trade deficit higher than ever? At this point, they’re just stealing the Democrat platform and claiming it as their own. Under National Defense: > Should the U.S. take a more muscular attitude toward Russia and China as they move to establish themselves as military and economic superpowers? NOW you’re concerned about Russia? Did Moscow Mitch and his Chinese wife help write that question? This is of course followed by begging for money, with a check box asking for $15 to offset the cost of processing the canvass. Those temp agencies must be price gougers. They didn’t leave much room on the form for me to offer detailed opinions to the lunacy of their question asking, but I made a go of it. I’m pretty sure my form will be rejected, or all my choices will be recorded as “Unsure.” ---
**Author:** ![bobsmom101](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobsmom101/32/2867_2.png) [@bobsmom101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobsmom101)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5262 "2021-05-22T14:38:15Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > They didn’t leave much room on the form for me to offer detailed opinions to the lunacy of their question asking, but I made a go of it. I’m pretty sure my form will be rejected, or all my choices will be recorded as “Unsure.” Heh heh. _Nobody_ even read it. Repeat after me: They don’t care what you think (and that’s true of the Dem fundraising emails too), they just want your money (and email address). ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5263 "2021-05-22T15:18:58Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > I heard that after they fed the ballots to the chickens, they barbecued the chickens and served the BBQ to aliens. But **that’s** obviously ridiculous because aliens are vegans or vegetarians (refer to other thread for definitions). Except the ones that are cannibals, of course. But none of them would eat chickens. Well, some aliens are Vegans. But others are Altairans or Denebians. ---
**Author:** ![leahcim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5264 "2021-05-22T16:41:44Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Except the ones that are cannibals, of course. But none of them would eat chickens. Plot twist: Chickens _are_ aliens! And cannibals! So they’re the ones that ate the ballot chickens! It all makes sense now! ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5265 "2021-05-22T16:43:41Z")
Ate them with all the Chick-Fil-A sauce. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5266 "2021-05-22T16:59:27Z")
Finally… the pieces fall into place… 💡 ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5267 "2021-05-22T18:43:40Z")
Quote from Steve\_MB’s link, not Steve\_MB: > [@Steve\_MB](#): > > Berman noted that some Trump fans have even claimed that state elections officials shredded their ballots, fed them to chickens, and then had the chickens incinerated to cover up the evidence… That is a good first few steps, but you have to make sure to disperse the chicken ashes over a great area by trickling them from an airplane. Then you’re good. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5268 "2021-05-22T18:51:54Z")
Madison Cawthorn: the British would not have surrendered at Yorktown if Washington had been wearing a mask. [https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/1395943087529201664](https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/1395943087529201664) Also Madison Cawthorn, when his record as the Congressman who has missed the most votes is exposed: Democrats hate the nuclear family, so this is why they are criticizing me for doing my husbandly duties instead of my job. > **[Cawthorn: Democrats hate the 'nuclear family' because they’re criticizing me...](https://www.alternet.org/amp/madison-cawthorn-2653078855)** > > U.S. Rep. David "Madison" Cawthorn (R-NC) is attacking his critics who are disturbed he has already missed 15 votes as a brand new freshman congressman, which has earned him the worst voting record to date.Cawthorn was prepared with a comeback:... ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5269 "2021-05-22T19:06:22Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Also Madison Cawthorn, when his record as the Congressman who has missed the most votes is exposed: Democrats hate the nuclear family, so this is why they are **criticizing me for doing my husbandly duties instead of my job.** - Anyone ask his wife for her opinion? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5270 "2021-05-22T19:25:18Z")
Given that he is unable to use his legs, I would guess that she does most of the work. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5271 "2021-05-22T20:09:23Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Madison Cawthorn: the British would not have surrendered at Yorktown if Washington had been wearing a mask. 'Cause it’s impossible to look intimidating in a mask; just ask Batman. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5272 "2021-05-22T22:07:11Z")
The last time I got one of those push polls from the QOP, I responded with all the answers they clearly didn’t want me to pick and then signed my name as “Deez Nutz”. Surprisingly I’ve only gotten one or two spam emails made out to Mr. Nutz. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2021, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5273 "2021-05-22T23:26:10Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Madison Cawthorn: the British would not have surrendered at Yorktown if Washington had been wearing a mask. Wouldn’t wearing a mask back then have been a sign of plague? There had been plague outbreaks in Europe within the previous hundred years. I bet they’d have surrendered tout suite, if only to get out of the area of contagion. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2021, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5274 "2021-05-23T00:02:43Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Well, some aliens are Vegans. But others are Altairans or Denebians. Hey! I already made that joke! ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2021, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5275 "2021-05-23T02:44:28Z")
Loser Donald has discovered that he can now go beyond 280 characters on his new “social media platform”. Paragraph breaks, however, remain a mystery to him. > ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2021, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5276 "2021-05-23T03:11:48Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > The last time I got one of those push polls from the QOP, I responded with all the answers they clearly didn’t want me to pick and then signed my name as “Deez Nutz”. > > Surprisingly I’ve only gotten one or two spam emails made out to Mr. Nutz. If only you’d sent them a buck or two, you could now be enjoying THOUSANDS of spam emails asking Mr. Nutz for cashew, er, cash! But as has been said: yeah, they don’t collate the responses to those questionnaires–they just bank the donations (if given) and sell the email addresses (for all who respond). Still, all honor to Knowed\_Out for posting the damn thing. It’s nice to see the evidence of what Trump-fan recipients consider “scientific polling.” ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2021, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140/5277 "2021-05-23T03:17:20Z")
The content seemed troublingly coherent when I looked at it. As if he had a personal editor who cleaned it up a little for posting. Or maybe he is dictating it to Alexa and the AI thing is excising the excess stupid – which would make sense, because Alexa would not savvy paragraphs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140.md?page=262) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-1/911140.md?page=264)