# New Super Soaker shoots semen all over children **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 10, 2006, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201 "2006-05-10T07:48:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/21 "2006-05-10T16:27:57Z")
Most likely lots of people who worked on this thing, from design to advertising, saw what it looked like and were simply too embarrassed to bring it up. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/22 "2006-05-10T16:33:51Z")
Question; Could this be construed, in some twisted court, as some mild form of child pornography? I mean, really, the only thing missing is a penis shaped head on the end of the Super Soaker. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/23 "2006-05-10T16:34:09Z")
I’m headed home now. Gonna find that old yellow t-shirt I have hanging somewhere and throw it away. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/24 "2006-05-10T16:51:58Z")
[QUOTE=Uncommon Sense] Question; Could this be construed, in some twisted court, as some mild form of child pornography? I mean, really, the only thing missing is a penis shaped head on the end of the Super Soaker. [/QUOTE] I don’t think anybody would interpret this as having the intent to arouse any viewer. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/25 "2006-05-10T16:56:55Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] Unfortunately, the ooze bears an uncanny resemblance to yak cum. [/QUOTE] And you would know this… how? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/26 "2006-05-10T17:51:05Z")
A new Super Soaker that shoots semen all over children? Big deal. The old ones were perfectly capable. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/27 "2006-05-10T17:58:41Z")
[QUOTE=ultrafilter] A new Super Soaker that shoots semen all over children? Big deal. The old ones were perfectly capable. [/QUOTE] You, sir, win the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/28 "2006-05-10T18:02:00Z")
[joke]With their newfound free time, Catholic priests have begun a new hobby: designing toys.[/joke] ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/29 "2006-05-10T18:45:02Z")
[Try the video played to Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s Relax](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXQHtpLNHZs) ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/30 "2006-05-10T18:52:05Z")
Expect to see a full-line of terrycloth cum rag/beach towels with the Oozinator logo on the next cargo ship steaming out of China. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/31 "2006-05-10T18:52:45Z")
Good God, **Homebrew** , that was disturbing as hell. Funny, though. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/32 "2006-05-10T19:10:13Z")
True story: the local Toys 'R Us has this commercial running on a loop in the store. I showed someone the other day and they were amazed that children are allowed near this thing. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/33 "2006-05-10T19:27:27Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Years ago someone pointed out to me that one of the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe toys was a sort of torture chasmber where a female character (She-Ra? I never followed these things) got clamped down and slowly covered with clear ooze. “What do you think they had in mind?” He asked me. Damned suggestive for a pre-pubescent toy. All you need to do is add this new ooze-blaster and you’ve got it complete. [/QUOTE] That was The Slime Pit. I bought it for my son, but there was no female superhero (in my son’s world, anyway). Ahhhh…I loved that toy. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/34 "2006-05-10T19:34:18Z")
We are all going to Hell. That is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/35 "2006-05-10T19:36:23Z")
[QUOTE=whiterabbit] Good God, **Homebrew** , that was disturbing as hell. Funny, though. [/QUOTE] skeet skeet skeet! ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/36 "2006-05-10T19:52:14Z")
After the shoot wrapped, did someone throw Li’l Yellow-Shirt® $5, and say, “Here ya go – buy yourself something pretty!”? ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/37 "2006-05-10T20:23:04Z")
“Major pumping required.” BWAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAA!!! Ya think? ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/38 "2006-05-10T20:27:30Z")
Oh boy. Perhaps it involved a toy-designer or a adevertisement-maker who was planning to leave the job soon? One of things where I feel it is wrong of me to laugh but I do anyway. Especiallly with the “Frankie” version. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/39 "2006-05-10T20:49:32Z")
Porn directors will be grabbing those up, “Hey, this is a lot cheaper than hiring a stunt cock!”. I’m glad there were no 10 YO girls in the ad, that would have made whack fodder for some deviated preverts (come to think of it, I guess 10 YO boys will, too.) ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201/40 "2006-05-10T20:56:33Z")
[QUOTE=Duke of Rat] Porn directors will be grabbing those up, “Hey, this is a lot cheaper than hiring a stunt cock!”. I’m glad there were no 10 YO girls in the ad, that would have made whack fodder for some deviated preverts (come to think of it, I guess 10 YO boys will, too.) [/QUOTE] That’s one of the cardinal rules of the Interweb: It doesn’t matter what it is. Someone, somewhere, is masturbating to it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-super-soaker-shoots-semen-all-over-children/356201.md?page=3)