# New Uses for Dick Cheney **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 5, 2009, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787 "2009-06-05T05:49:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/21 "2009-06-05T19:52:28Z")
Hostage (expendable). ---
**Author:** ![Sinaijon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Sinaijon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinaijon)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/22 "2009-06-05T19:56:56Z")
Strawman oh wait, you said _new_. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/23 "2009-06-05T20:00:51Z")
> [@Onomatopoeia](#): > > We can lock him in a brightly lit room and play Barry Manilow’s Looks Like we Made It, non stop, until he snaps and divulges the location and destruct codes for the death star. I thought Cheney WAS the Death Star? ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/24 "2009-06-05T20:15:56Z")
Crewman Number Three on the away team. (Dressed in a red shirt.) ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/25 "2009-06-05T20:31:52Z")
Host for endangered intestinal parasites ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/26 "2009-06-05T20:50:16Z")
CPR training dummy. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/27 "2009-06-05T21:10:40Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > No, he’s not a mod, so he couldn’t do that. I agree. The man’s a square. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/28 "2009-06-05T22:00:42Z")
I have to admit…I have no use for Cheney. MMV however… -XT ---
**Author:** ![Electrical\_Storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac8455/32.png) [@Electrical\_Storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electrical_Storm)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/29 "2009-06-05T22:07:39Z")
What, did you all forget that’s not the real Dick Cheney? They took a synchord of his brain back in 2004 and downloaded it into a cyborg. So just unplug him. 🙂 Or, give him to Professor Frink and let him reprogram the cyborg to be a house cleaning robot. ---
**Author:** ![flonks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ab097/32.png) [@flonks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flonks)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/30 "2009-06-05T22:13:41Z")
Stunt double for Kenny (South Park) ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/31 "2009-06-05T22:25:47Z")
You know, that whole story about burying somebody in a fire ant mound up to thier neck? That could just be a legend, I don’t think we’ve got anything really definitive on that… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/32 "2009-06-05T22:34:09Z")
If I were a more sadistic person, I’d say make him an underwear model and stick ads with him in it in a bunch of magazines. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/33 "2009-06-05T23:10:15Z")
Pinata. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/34 "2009-06-05T23:17:06Z")
> [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](#): > > If I were a more sadistic person, I’d say make him an underwear model and stick ads with him in it in a bunch of magazines. What, are you TRYING to turn the entire nation blind? ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/35 "2009-06-05T23:33:48Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > Replacement for the scary dancing old dude in the Six Flags commercials. NO. I like the dancing “old dude.” Cheney is disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/36 "2009-06-06T00:39:00Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > NO. I like the dancing “old dude.” Cheney is disturbing. Exactly. I find the dancing ‘old dude’ disturbing. **Intaglio** suggests ‘medical test subject.’ ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/37 "2009-06-06T01:28:29Z")
Matador. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/38 "2009-06-06T04:05:42Z")
Replacement for Buster (From Mythbusters). ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/39 "2009-06-06T04:10:41Z")
Model for man sized safe. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/40 "2009-06-06T04:37:29Z")
Guard dog training dummy (or whatever the hell they call them) Gargolye [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787.md?page=3)