# New Uses for Dick Cheney **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 5, 2009, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787 "2009-06-05T05:49:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Taenia\_spp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@Taenia\_spp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taenia_spp)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/41 "2009-06-06T04:47:01Z")
Love the endangered parasite host suggestion (though don’t you suppose his bowels may be a little too toxic for our cute little friends?) More! **Minesweeper**? **Cleaner for the intake pipes at a sewage treatment plant** ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/42 "2009-06-06T06:46:12Z")
Monopoly board game banker. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/43 "2009-06-06T13:58:17Z")
I haven’t really worked out the details, or even the right phrase, but: testicle pinata. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/44 "2009-06-06T15:03:19Z")
Compost. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/45 "2009-06-06T15:06:00Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > I haven’t really worked out the details, or even the right phrase, but: testicle pinata. So not touching the candy. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/46 "2009-06-06T15:53:47Z")
Ship captain in [pirate alley](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirate_alley)? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/47 "2009-06-06T16:01:42Z")
R! R! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/48 "2009-06-06T16:23:25Z")
With the death of David Carradine, we really should have an qxperiment to determine how to do autoerotic acts without accidentally asphixiating one’s self. Cheney could be a test subject. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/49 "2009-06-06T18:38:27Z")
Please refrain from using the words “sex”, “erotic” and other similar words in any thread where the name Cheney is referenced. You’re killing my libido. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/50 "2009-06-06T18:59:33Z")
In order for useful data to be obtained, somebody would have to watch. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/51 "2009-06-06T19:02:51Z")
Okay then. But only if the act involves a horse and the final report contains the words “perforated colon.” ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/52 "2009-06-06T19:31:37Z")
Mister Ed is an American television situation comedy produced by Filmways that first aired in syndication from January 5 to July 2, 1961 and then on CBS from October 1, 1961 to February 6, 1966. Mister Ed was the first series ever to debut as a midseason replacement. The stars of the show are Mister Ed, an intelligent palomino American Saddlebred who could talk (“played” by gelding Bamboo Harvester and voiced by Allan Lane), and his owner, architect Wilbur Post (portrayed by Alan Young). Much of the program’s humor stemmed from the fact Mister Ed would speak only to Wilbur, as well as Ed’s notoriety as a troublemaker. According to the show’s producer, Arthur Lubin, Young was chosen because he “just seemed like the sort of guy a horse would talk to.” Lubin, a friend of Mae West, scored a coup by persuading the screen icon to guest star in one episode, in which Wilbur blames Mister Ed for his perforated colon. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/53 "2009-06-08T03:04:31Z")
Waving his fist and screaming “I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids,” after being unmasked. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/54 "2009-06-08T03:06:49Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > Please refrain from using the words “sex”, “erotic” and other similar words in any thread where the name Cheney is referenced. You’re killing my libido. Not to mention eroding my esophagus. Hmmm…well, maybe there could be a use for him there… ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/55 "2009-06-08T04:39:15Z")
We need a test subject to determine what’s torture and what isn’t. By his own estimation he’s qualified for that job. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/56 "2009-06-08T04:57:49Z")
Crash test dummy Football (yes, I know that having Chenay as a football would pretty much eliminate the passing game, but oh well.) Hockey puck Drum kit Meals for the homeless ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/57 "2009-06-08T09:26:35Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Not to mention eroding my esophagus. > Hmmm…well, maybe there could be a use for him there… Hmmm. Ipecac does have some severe side effects. Ask your doctor if Dick Cheney is the right emetic for _you_ ! ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/58 "2009-06-08T11:19:42Z")
The word _pinata_ has been used as least twice as suggestions for utilizing Cheney. Have you guys given any thought at all as to the toxic substances that would be released if you actually broke that sucker open? I think he should be sent to North Korea with a shotgun in hand to teach the Dear Leader the art of shooting cage raised birds. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/59 "2009-06-08T13:04:49Z")
Dress him and Karl Rove up as Tweedledee and Tweedledum in a stage version of _Alice in Dittoland_. Also featuring George Bush as the White Rabbit, Donald Rumsfeld as The Mad Hatter, Alberto Gonzalez as the Dormouse, and Rush Limbaugh as the Cheshire Cat. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787/60 "2009-06-08T22:10:19Z")
Speedbump? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-uses-for-dick-cheney/498787.md?page=4)