# New Victorians? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 11, 2014, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-victorians/706957 "2014-12-11T17:10:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 57
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-victorians/706957/57 "2014-12-15T18:30:17Z")
Here’s a bunch of people on this board who feel the onus is on the unwilling person to say “no”, not on the active person to be sure it’s a “yes”. > [@Lack of affirmative consent as rape?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lack-of-affirmative-consent-as-rape/506884/5): > > I think that w **ithout an express no or something similar it can’t be rape,** at least in situations where people are capable of talking and understanding. > [@Lack of affirmative consent as rape?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lack-of-affirmative-consent-as-rape/506884/9): > > **I don’t think that requiring a woman to say “No” ( in a situation where the isn’t any overt threat at least ) is an unfair burden**. > [@Lack of affirmative consent as rape?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lack-of-affirmative-consent-as-rape/506884/64): > > She never gave \*explicit, affirmative \*consent. > > Again, assuming the lack of a physical threat, she is in control of this situation. **She can say no. She can get up and leave. She has any number of options besides having sex with him, so one must assume that the sex was consensual**. The OP of the thread is on the fence: > [@Lack of affirmative consent as rape?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lack-of-affirmative-consent-as-rape/506884/54): > > I guess that’s an interesting question. I know I’ve read about scenarios where the guy asks the woman for sex a few times, she says no. He asks again and she kind of just lies there ignoring him, and he takes that as yes. She meant, “No,” and she was sick of him asking and just kind of gave in. I don’t know if that’s rape in any meaningful sense of the word. It certainly doesn’t sound all that sexy and if I were in that situation I’d just say, “No.” Or if someone started to initiate sex without asking–I’m not sure my default position would be, “Oh no, he’ll flip out and kill me if I say no, so I’ll just get it over with.” Is silence indicative of consent? --- _[View the full topic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-victorians/706957)._