New weight loss plan - Helium!

I know that Adam loves to inhale helium whenever an experiment calls for it. It sounds like he’d be an ideal volunteer.

Hence my comment that you should replace only the nitrogen.

Except that would require more of a helium, you know, enema.

Quite right - sorry - I skipped over that on the first reading somehow.

It should, because the process of producing sounds in the larynx is mechanically quite similar to farting. The biggest difference is that in the larynx, it would all be taking place fully immersed in the helium-rich mixture, whereas with farting, it would be taking place as the helium disperses - but all told, I think the concentration of helium flowing out of the anus would be sufficient to allow it to oscillate faster, creating a higher pitched noise.

If that’s correct, then farting Sulphur Hexaflouride would result in deep-pitched, booming farts.

I recall seeing a show in which it was reported that eastern bloc swimmers were experimentally given helium enemas before races to improve bouyancy. The experiments were not persisted with, because the discomfort of bloating more than overwhelmed the tiny (if any) advantage.

I suspect there is an equivalent to Rule 34 in athletics - if you can think of it, someone has tried to cheat with it.