# New Years Resolutions **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 1999, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299 "1999-12-17T02:26:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 1999, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/1 "1999-12-17T02:26:00Z")
Well Gang, spill 'em, and we’ll hold you to it! Mine: 1. To get off my ass and find a real career. 2. The get back into game shape. Not terribly inventive, but you’ve got to start from the ground up. What do the TM have to offer? ---
**Author:** ![Ursa\_Major](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a88e57/32.png) [@Ursa\_Major](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ursa_Major)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 1999, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/2 "1999-12-17T02:39:00Z")
I resolve not to storm my neighbor’s bomb shelter when I find out I was wrong about it being “just another new year”. I’ve got my pride and I’ve seen “Omega Man” enough times to know how to handle the situation. Note to self: Get “Woodstock” on video so I can watch it without leaving the safety of my penthouse. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 1999, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/3 "1999-12-17T02:46:00Z")
To use an apostrophe whenever I type in “New Year’s Resolutions” as a topic. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 1999, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/4 "1999-12-17T02:48:00Z")
Sorry, Omni. Two weeks at sea’ll make a guy surly (among other things). ---
**Author:** ![JamesCarroll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@JamesCarroll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JamesCarroll)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 1999, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/5 "1999-12-17T02:56:00Z")
I’ll be quitting smoking forever. For the fifth year in a row. ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 1999, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/6 "1999-12-17T04:59:00Z")
I’m resolving to continue to be just as fabulous as I am now. ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 1999, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/7 "1999-12-17T17:36:00Z")
No resolutions for me. I am Y2K complacent. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 1999, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/8 "1999-12-18T02:35:00Z")
I was going to resolve to give up prostitution and crack, but that doesn’t leave me anything for Lent 😉 Does anyone remember the song “New Year’s Resolutions” by Spike Jones and the City Slickers? It had each of the members singing a verse (Doodles Weaver’s had the words all messed up, etc.) The only verse I can remember is: This is myyyyyyyyy New Year’s resolution – When my mother-in-law begins to scream and shout Through the window I would like to throw her out I resolve not to do it here is why I’m afraid of hitting someone passing by! This is myyyyyyyy New Year’s resolution! * * * “There’s a snake in my boot!” ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 1999, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/9 "1999-12-18T16:17:00Z")
[http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/003148.html](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/003148.html) Omniscient – just thought you might want a link. Not like I’m accusing you of duplicating a thread or anything! 😉 * * * Best! Byz ---
**Author:** ![Cheese\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cheese\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheese_Head)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 1999, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/10 "1999-12-22T23:23:00Z")
To use the computer less so I reduce my wrist and eye strain. Otherwise, Omniscient’s are good for me, too. ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 1999, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/11 "1999-12-22T23:34:00Z")
Like I said in Byz’s thread…to become more adventurous! * * * I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature! ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 1999, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/12 "1999-12-23T10:14:00Z")
I just want to resolve to get this thread right next to the other one… hey, it worked! * * * Best! Byz ---
**Author:** ![bantmof](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@bantmof](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bantmof)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 1999, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/13 "1999-12-23T11:32:00Z")
My one and only New Year’s resolution is that this year I will not keep any of my New Year’s resolutions. – peas on earth ---
**Author:** ![Gumby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@Gumby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gumby)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 1999, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/14 "1999-12-23T12:29:00Z")
I have never actually made a new year’s resolution, partly because I can’t make a decision to save my life, so don’t know what to resolve so to speak and partly because I have never been bothered. SO this year I am FIRMLY resolving to:- make decisions, they won’t kill me (I hope) Not be so lazy I think that is about as much as I can handle. i would love to say give up smoking and go to the gym more regularly but we do have to realistic here. Best to all for the new year ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 1999, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/15 "1999-12-23T19:32:00Z")
I am resolving to get back to the shape I was in coming out of high school and becoming a stripper. At least for a night. * * * [http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com) Computers have let mankind make mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exception of tequila and handguns. ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 1999, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/16 "1999-12-27T05:46:00Z")
I’d like to read the classic books that I missed out on while I was still in school, one hundred years ago,(half the class read one book, while the other half were assigned a different book) I’d also like to read the books that are to be banned before I can’t find them anywhere;i.e. “Lord of the Flies”. Get my younger son, Billy, to exercise with me. Have more fun, rather than making everything become a ‘job to get done’. Be glad that I didn’t believe in the Y2K panic, but if it turns out to be true, bye ya’ll! Judy * * * “Consider it a challenge…” ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 1999, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/17 "1999-12-27T16:19:00Z")
To lose 30 more lbs and keep it off. * * * Everybody got their Black and Decker… Blood and Fettuccini everywhere ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 1999, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/18 "1999-12-27T16:25:00Z")
I resolve to have my piano tuned and finally begin to learn to play it. I further resolve to have my piano teacher also teach my son, so we can learn together. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 1999, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/19 "1999-12-27T16:33:00Z")
Voguevixen, I love Spike Jones! Still giggle at his “Laura” and “Cocktails for Two” take-offs. The Weird Al and Alan Sherman of his day. Resolutions? Well the usual: better job, better apartment, better love-life. Didn’t Armistead Maupin say you can’t have all three? Then the hell with #3. I did join a gym near my office, and will swim 3x a week at lunchtime, hoping to get my Girlish Figure back . . . ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 1999, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/12299/20 "1999-12-27T21:32:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I am resolving to get back to the shape I was in coming out of high school and becoming a stripper. At least for a night. okay - that would be good with me too! (I only wish I believed it were possible…)