# New Year's resolutions?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/677438>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 29, 2013, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/677438 "2013-12-29T21:26:41Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\
**Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/677438/1 "2013-12-29T21:26:41Z")

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Mine:

Track down and punch every person who continues to use the phrase “going forward.” Please stop it!

Kickstart my film wherein Karen Gillan, Scarlett Johansson (with her Black Widow red hair) and Felicia Day have a lesbian threesome. \*

Stop buying so many damn books.

\*They may even kill zombies in between lovemaking sessions. What do you think?

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**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\
**Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/677438/2 "2013-12-30T02:25:55Z")

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Are we just making up New Year’s resolutions that have no basis in reality? OK I’ll play:

The first of every month have crazy monkey sex with the hottest celeb of the day.

Every Friday donate a million dollars to a new charity.

Educate people that having a giant schlong isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

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**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\
**Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/677438/3 "2013-12-30T13:55:40Z")

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Mine’s reality-based; Same resolutions as last year: Drink less, work out more.

(I did great on those last year, except somehow by February I got 'em backwards)

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**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\
**Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-years-resolutions/677438/4 "2013-12-30T14:31:46Z")

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I resolve not to make any resolu…

Damn.