# Newbie hello **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2000, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306 "2000-04-19T23:45:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/1 "2000-04-19T23:45:00Z")
Hi all, glad to be here. I was just thinking about introducing myself here, and it occurred to me the paradox of newbie-dom: If one does as is recommended, and lurks for a while before posting to the board-- which I have done-- one ends up knowing a good bit about the regulars here, while y’all know virtually nothing about me. For example, I know far more about Satan’s ass than anyone probably ever should. So, in the interest of fairness, I feel I should divulge a bit about myself (revelations about my ass, however, will have to wait until I know you all a little better). I’m a 35-year-old woman/girl/lady/female/gal, full time college student at a women’s college, majoring in geology. I have an affinity for rocks of all sorts; I’m such a geo-geek, I even examine rocks at highway rest areas. My username comes from the term we geo-majors at my school call ourselves; I thought geobabe was a pretty cool name the first time I heard it. I was in the Navy for 7-1/2 years, and have many stories about wild drunken sexual escapades which I shall share when the time becomes right. I’m very opinionated, so the attraction to this community should be pretty obvious. I’m extremely anal about spelling and grammar, another quality which should make me fit in very well here. I love maps and reference materials of all kinds. Some of my favorite words are (in no particular order): smarmy, phlegmatic, lugubrious, porphyritic, smectite, orogeny. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/2 "2000-04-19T23:49:00Z")
Those must be some Navy stories, if you have to come to the pit just to introduce yourself. Hi, Geobabe. Smectite is a good word. Smectite, smectite… ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/3 "2000-04-19T23:49:00Z")
And now y’all can roast me for being a dumbass–I meant to post this in MPSIMS. Oopsie! ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/4 "2000-04-20T00:02:00Z")
Dumbass. Oh, and hello. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/5 "2000-04-20T00:45:00Z")
That’s OK, she’ll probably get more actual conversation over here than in MPSIMS. They’re kind of busy over there talking about the Maryland quarter and “who has stinky feet?” John McPhee’s books on geology are all I know about geology, but I adore them. Oops, sorry, this is the Pit. _You better fuckin’ agree with me that John McPhee is the Man, or else I’m gonna come over there and rip you a new asshole, see if I don’t…_ Welcome to the SDMB. Thanks for taking the time to lurk a little first. I mean, _fuck, yeah, I wish more asshole newbies were like you and knew their fuckin’ asses from a hole in the ground._ * * * “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/6 "2000-04-20T00:53:00Z")
All right, while we’re still in the Pit, I might as well make the most of it. **Anybody who doesn’t read John McPhee is a fuckin’ idiot** ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/7 "2000-04-20T00:58:00Z")
OK, moving this as requested, even though a little late. Lynn ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/8 "2000-04-20T01:03:00Z")
Um, I don’t read John McPhee. I don’t know who he is. But hi anyway, Geobabe! 🙂 * * * Cristi, Slayer of Peeps I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday. (title & sig courtesy of UncleBeer and WallyM7!) ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/9 "2000-04-20T01:05:00Z")
_Another_ newbie who lurked and learned the rules before posting? Stop it. You guys are spoiling me. Welcome, Geo. Cool name, BTW. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/10 "2000-04-20T01:06:00Z")
Gee it’s been more than an hour and none of the usual gutter bunch has shown up to make the obvious lame comment about getting his rocks off with the new geologist? Well _I’m_ certainly not going to do it. * * * You don’t have to _be_ Amish to look Amish! ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/11 "2000-04-20T01:08:00Z")
Minor hijack time This sounds like a good start for the newbie/lurker. The interest in rocks etc, opens up all avenues of responses. I am sitting here racking my brain trying to think of a sly, rock related double entendre or two to post. I can’t think of anything. Drawing a total blank. I feel like Superman surrounded by kryptonite. I have some decent powers, but nothing’s coming out. Someone, help me! Thus endeth the hijack. * * * Coming soon to a sig line near you! Relive the mundane highs, the flaming lows, and the pointless posts in between. Announcing the debut of the best of Mullinator. Because it’s not just a sig, it’s an adventure. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/12 "2000-04-20T01:31:00Z")
OK, whew, over in MPSIMS where I meant to be in the first place–I clicked on the submit button and the screen said “now returning you to the BBQ Pit.” **D’oh!!!** Bring on the silly rock jokes! I’m ready! ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/13 "2000-04-20T01:34:00Z")
All right. What’s a gneiss girl like you doing in a place like this? ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/14 "2000-04-20T01:40:00Z")
Welcome to the nuthouse, Geobabe! I think you’ll fit right in with the wildlife. Care for a beer? * * * Homepage: [www.loosiegoosiemoosie.gov](http://www.loosiegoosiemoosie.gov) Occupation: Taxidermist and hunt guide Location: Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada Interests: The Loyal Order of the Moose, Moosehead (and the beer). Oh yeah? Well, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. Backwards. In high heels. - As per Wally ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_G7subs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85e7bf/32.png) [@Rich\_G7subs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_G7subs)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/15 "2000-04-20T02:06:00Z")
Wow…7 1/2 years!With drunken naval escapades to boot! What a woman!!! Lets go to a local watering hole and swap sea stories.How are you in bar fights? I’ll watch your back,If you watch mine. 🙂 * * * Rich “G7SUBS” ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/16 "2000-04-20T02:09:00Z")
I’d ask your opinion of the Maryland quarter and sniff your feet, as I don’t wish to take you for granite, but s’late. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/17 "2000-04-20T02:11:00Z")
> [@](#): > > **Rich G7subs** > How are you in bar fights? I’ll watch your back,If you watch mine. Hey, with my trusty rock hammer, I’m darn near invincible! ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_G7subs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85e7bf/32.png) [@Rich\_G7subs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_G7subs)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/18 "2000-04-20T02:33:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Geobabe: > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > **Rich G7subs** > > How are you in bar fights? I’ll watch your back,If you watch mine. > > Hey, with my trusty rock hammer, I’m darn near invincible!\*\* ::Nearly faints:: I’m in LOVE. 🙂 ((you don’t mean that Leeetle bitty rock hammer like Tim Robbins used in “Shawshank redemption” do ya?)) * * * Rich “G7SUBS” ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/19 "2000-04-20T02:55:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Rich G7subs: > \*\* ::Nearly faints:: I’m in LOVE. 🙂 > > ((you don’t mean that Leeetle bitty rock hammer like Tim Robbins used in “Shawshank redemption” do ya?)) > \*\* Heck no! I’m talkin’ one of those sledgehammer lookin’ jobbies! ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306/20 "2000-04-20T02:56:00Z")
Rich G7subs said: > [@](#): > > ((you don’t mean that Leeetle bitty rock hammer like Tim Robbins used in “Shawshank redemption” do ya?)) It’s not the size of the hammer, it’s how you swing it! Geobabe, welcome aboard. Someone who cares enough to lurk first - verified by your intro post making such topical references. Let me say, welcome to the orogeny, I’ll use a porphyritic to keep the smectite off you. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-hello/16306.md?page=2)