# Newbie here. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 28, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140 "2005-01-28T17:29:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![hewe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@hewe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hewe)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/1 "2005-01-28T17:29:04Z")
Hi. My friend **auRa** posts here every now and then she seems to enjoy it, so I thought I’d give it a try too. Be gentle. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/2 "2005-01-28T17:40:34Z")
Don’t worry – the goat and the calamari are both very, very gentle. Welcome! ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/3 "2005-01-28T17:44:44Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Don’t worry – the goat and the calamari are both very, very gentle. > > Welcome! Sticky, though. Both of 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/4 "2005-01-28T17:45:20Z")
But you should watch you for the tentacles. Double welcome! _smooch_ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/5 "2005-01-28T17:46:36Z")
“Gentle”, she says. _“Gentle”!!!_ _twitch_ [sub]I’ll be okay.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![LucyInDisguise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucyindisguise/32/18064_2.png) [@LucyInDisguise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LucyInDisguise)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/6 "2005-01-28T17:48:38Z")
Gettin’ so ya can’t swing a dead cat in here without hittin’ a newbie … Ouch. Ouch! Ouch!!! … would you stop swingin’ that thing in here? Go outsite and play like we told ya … 😃 No, that’s not a typo … ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/7 "2005-01-28T17:49:44Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > “Gentle”, she says. _“Gentle”!!!_ > > _twitch_ > > [sub]I’ll be okay.[/sub] _offers a hug and some assorted smooches_ ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/8 "2005-01-28T17:53:28Z")
[sub]Well, it’s not like **hewe** is going to _remember_ anything, right? So what’s the hard in telling him/her that the livestock will be gentle?[/sub] Pay no attention to these folks. Here, put on this shower cap and wait over there – we’ll be right with you. And watch out for the dead cat. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/9 "2005-01-28T18:00:02Z")
:: a quick flash of tentacular motion :: :: gobble slurp :: What dead cat? …um… I think the calamari is awake… ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/10 "2005-01-28T18:07:59Z")
Uhoh. Someone quick! Get the Death Ray! ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/11 "2005-01-28T18:08:21Z")
Welcome aboard! ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/12 "2005-01-28T18:12:37Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > :: a quick flash of tentacular motion :: > :: gobble slurp :: > > What dead cat? > > …um… I think the calamari is awake… Yes, it is… and it’s grabbing the [18" DHIBJD!!!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=266235) :eek: **hewe** , you don’t, by chance, have a corset, do you? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![hewe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@hewe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hewe)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/13 "2005-01-28T18:51:46Z")
> [@Dragwyr](#): > > Yes, it is… and it’s grabbing the > [18" DHIBJD!!!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=266235) :eek: > > **hewe** , you don’t, by chance, have a corset, do you? 😃 Does an endless supply of duct tape count? ---
**Author:** ![hewe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@hewe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hewe)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/14 "2005-01-28T18:56:51Z")
And the fact that most of you assumed I’m a girl only by reading my first post here is really testing my manhood. I’m now going downstairs to do some laundr… uh, I mean I’ve got fight club. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/15 "2005-01-28T19:01:51Z")
I’m not seeing any assumptions about your gender here :dubious: – we suggest everyone wear the shower cap. In fact, we’re happy to provide a second cap for anyone (male or female) whose facial hair is particularly lush. ---
**Author:** ![hewe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@hewe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hewe)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/16 "2005-01-28T19:09:54Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I’m not seeing any assumptions about your gender here :dubious: – we suggest everyone wear the shower cap. In fact, we’re happy to provide a second cap for anyone (male or female) whose facial hair is particularly lush. Is the shower cap more of a funny, company uniform kind of thing or a scary cult obsession kind of thing? Either way, I’m down. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/17 "2005-01-28T19:16:01Z")
> [@hewe](#): > > Is the shower cap more of a funny, company uniform kind of thing or a scary cult obsession kind of thing? There’s a difference? ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/18 "2005-01-28T19:21:14Z")
1. I’ve seen one gender reference: he/she 2. Mens can wear corsets, too. 3. Hi, **hewe**! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![hewe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@hewe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hewe)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/19 "2005-01-28T19:28:28Z")
So, are the any tips you guys you wanna give me? What topics to avoid? Which posters to ignore? How’s the general mood around here? ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140/20 "2005-01-28T19:38:30Z")
Tips? Don’t clench up and it will go a lot easier. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie-here/287140.md?page=2)