# Newbie **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 9, 2009, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199 "2009-10-09T15:43:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![antinephritic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@antinephritic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antinephritic)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/1 "2009-10-09T15:43:59Z")
Hi, interesting forum ! I’ll enjoy this forum and discussions. Greetings !! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/2 "2009-10-09T15:47:56Z")
So what’s with the name? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/3 "2009-10-09T15:49:38Z")
We’ll let you settle in a bit before we begin your initiation. The giant squid can be a little – offputting. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/4 "2009-10-09T16:01:16Z")
I’ll have you know that this forum is unabashedly pro-kidney. Tread lightly. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/5 "2009-10-09T16:11:38Z")
Ok, that’s long enough. Git 'em, boys. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/6 "2009-10-09T16:11:51Z")
Hello **antinephritic**. Be welcome. Enjoy your stay. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/7 "2009-10-09T16:18:06Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > Ok, that’s long enough. Git 'em, boys. Yee haw! Wait a minute – Who took the Vaseline and the pogo stick? How are we supposed to do a proper initiation without the Vaseline and the pogo stick? **antinephritic** , bear with us for a sec. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/8 "2009-10-09T16:19:20Z")
Somebody fetch the goat ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/9 "2009-10-09T16:20:46Z")
You misspelled felch. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/10 "2009-10-09T16:24:02Z")
Maybe he doesn’t like jade. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/11 "2009-10-09T16:48:57Z")
Just make sure the squids are fitted with protectives on each tentacle. We don’t want a repeat of what happened last time. Oh yeah, and welcome to the Dope: Where Everyone Is Right, Even When They’re Wrong[sup]TM[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/12 "2009-10-09T17:00:46Z")
Welcome to the Dope, and ignore those buffoons. Here, have a seat in Room #3 and relax. Just hang out and wait, the initiation will be over before you realize it. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/13 "2009-10-09T17:17:37Z")
Welcome aboard the board for the rarely bored. You should be aware of the following unwritten rules: 1. If you post a thread about small mammals kept as pets, pictures are expected. 2. Pie is quite popular. 3. Once, for twenty minutes, in the 60s, while listening to _Rio_ by Duran Duran, we nuked something from orbit with a 1920’s Style Death Ray, because we thought Opal said Hi. Or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/14 "2009-10-09T17:21:10Z")
Welcome. You are free to ask stupid questions, just try to wade through the snark if you do; somebody will actually try to answer. ( **Oak** , you forgot to mention the thing about **Hal**.) ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/15 "2009-10-09T18:19:44Z")
No, no, there was a goat felching reference… close enough. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/16 "2009-10-09T18:25:19Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > We’ll let you settle in a bit before we begin your initiation. > > The giant squid can be a little – offputting. > [@tdn](#): > > Yee haw! > > Wait a minute – Who took the Vaseline and the pogo stick? How are we supposed to do a proper initiation without the Vaseline and the pogo stick? **antinephritic** , bear with us for a sec. > [@twickster](#): > > Welcome to the Dope, and ignore those buffoons. Here, have a seat in Room #3 and relax. Just hang out and wait, the initiation will be over before you realize it. As long as no one tips our new member off to the vat of lime Jell-O, we’ll be fine. Oops, did I type that out loud? 😛 Welcome, **antinephritic**. Enjoy your stay! ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/17 "2009-10-09T19:05:05Z")
_(smiles an insincere smile whilst slipping on latex gloves and laying out the instruments)_ Welcome to the SDMB! Now, just relax. We need to adjust these straps a little… Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/18 "2009-10-09T19:08:58Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > We don’t want a repeat of what happened last time. I thought we agreed never to talk about that again. But as long as you brought it up – did anyone remember to swing by the trauma ward this week? ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/19 "2009-10-09T19:13:07Z")
Glad you’re here. We could have used you when we were trying to ban that **pronephritic** guy last week. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199/20 "2009-10-09T19:17:20Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Glad you’re here. We could have used you when we were trying to ban that **pronephritic** guy last week. The release of pure energy would probably have killed the hamster. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newbie/513199.md?page=2)