# Newest Chick Tract: "The Lost Day" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 12, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292 "2005-09-12T18:12:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/41 "2005-09-12T22:25:21Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I like the woman on the left side of the third panel, holding the martini glasses. Notice that her “Hic!” is in a thought bubble, not a speech bubble. Apparently, she’s only considering getting the hiccups. Or she’s drunk. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/42 "2005-09-12T22:27:43Z")
Shooting fish in a barrel. I didn’t even think it was worth pitting. I guess it had to happen, though. I like the way Chick thinks your average middle class teenagers casually deal PCP. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/43 "2005-09-12T22:39:05Z")
OK, there are some toxins I simply will not expose myself to directly, not even in the name of fighting ignorance. Nevertheless, it sounds like the English (not to mention the Scots, the Welsh, and the Irish) are going to hell. One of the holidays my mother likes most is Thanksgiving because they don’t have it in England, it’s fairly uncommercialized, and it’s about family. The closest we come to bringing in a religious aspect is having someone, usually me, say grace, and even then, I don’t usually mention Jesus alone specifically; if I do, I usually do so in terms of “Father, Son and Holy Ghost”. After all, I figure if I neglect any One of the Trinity, I might get all Three mad! :eek: (No, I’m not being serious or reverent.) Come to think of it, hasn’t Jack Chick just condemned most of Europe? 😕 Oh well. I suspect most of Europe hasn’t heard of him, and is happier not to do so. CJ Somehow, my sig seems particularly appropriate! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/44 "2005-09-12T22:54:50Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Or she’s drunk. Whoosh. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/45 "2005-09-12T23:11:06Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Or she’s drunk. Because as we all know from personal experience, drunk people think about hiccups. ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/46 "2005-09-13T00:04:55Z")
According to his website, our man Jack [has had a heart attack.](http://www.chick.com/bc/2005/jtcletters_o.asp) Let’s send some good vibes and hope he doesn’t have his beliefs proven wrong before too long. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/47 "2005-09-13T00:20:16Z")
Two technical questions: 1. At the very end it said that the the “only smart one in the bunch was the _kid_!” What, was Uncle Mort predestined for hell or something? 2. The drunk guy wearing the “Nuke 'Em” t-shirt. Is his wife wearing a cross around her neck? But, I digress. > [@](#): > > “You don’t have to thank God for **anything.** We’ll have a **wonderful** party in hell.” Look, if you’re calling a party “wonderful”, it’s probably gonna suck. One would think a demon would know how to describe a party as “kick ass!” or “it’ll fuckin’ rock!” Methinks Chick’s demons are a bunch of pussies. Tripler Besides, I’m a Catholic, and I know how to _rock!_ ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/48 "2005-09-13T00:23:51Z")
> [@Menocchio](#): > > According to his website, our man Jack [has had a heart attack.](http://www.chick.com/bc/2005/jtcletters_o.asp) Man, according to his website, God is a mean sumbitch, as are all Jack’s friends. > [@](#): > > One night I felt under the weather and it kept getting worse. My flu turned into pneumonia, my blood sugar dropped to 20 (I am diabetic)… I was going into a coma. My wife called 911 and while they were on the way, I had a heart attack. A day or so later I had to undergo a triple bypass. But the Lord was with me. While I was trying to recuperate from the surgery, my condition didn’t stop my dear friends from confronting me with the ever increasing demand to drop those six critical minutes … > > So I went before the Lord and asked Him, “Father, if I had changed the ending of the film, would you have taken me home when I had the heart attack?” The reply was a very strong “Yes.” What **is** it with some of these sanctimonious Christians and their martyrdom complexes? He’s basically blaming his friends for his heart attack here! And then he’s saying that God, a big fan of Stephen King’s **Misery** , was going to kill him if Chick didn’t follow God’s artistic direction. God almighty. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/49 "2005-09-13T00:24:35Z")
Eh. Quit partying with your Peter! CJ :ducks and runs for the hills: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/50 "2005-09-13T00:27:58Z")
Hang it, LHOD, that was directed at _ **Tripler** _. Some days you got it; some days you don’t. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/51 "2005-09-13T00:28:43Z")
> [@Siege](#): > > Hang it, LHOD, that was directed at _ **Tripler** _. Some days you got it; some days you don’t. ☹ No problem; I figured it was advice meant with the best of intentions! 🙂 Daniel ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/52 "2005-09-13T01:46:35Z")
**John Mace** , this is not quite the best introduction to Chick. You need to check out Classics such as “This Was Your Life”, “Dark Dungeons” and “The Death Cookie”. > [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Yeah, but Chick seems to be saying that God _is_ Jesus, not that God _exists in_ Jesus. Also an accepted doctrine in many flavors of Christianity, that Jesus IS fully God AND fully Man, AND one single person, NOT “one existing within” the other, all that simultaneously w/o exploding in a flash of paradox. When you’re Jesus, you can pull that off. And people feel they’re doing so great completing triathlons… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/53 "2005-09-13T02:22:35Z")
Dealing PCP and crack in front of the grown-ups? “Snookums”? The dutch girl in her wooden shoes and the Puritankid cowering from the stork? I think Jack has hit a new high in low entertainment. Chick tracts are turning into a fundy version of MAD. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/54 "2005-09-13T02:27:25Z")
“Did I make the _ **wrong** _ choice?” **"You betcha!"** He should have said, **"Gotcha ya!"** (What IS up with the stork, anyway?) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/55 "2005-09-13T02:32:34Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > \*\* I remember being scared to death reading one of his tracts as a child. Really, which one? From Chick’s heart attack letter: > [@](#): > > I hate offending people. Since WHEN? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/56 "2005-09-13T02:49:39Z")
I’m particularly fond of the image of Squanto speaking English perfectly and being sent directly from God to help. You have to think Squanto later said to the Almighty, “Um…Lord…those new folks down there appear to be screwing my countryfolk.” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/57 "2005-09-13T03:01:36Z")
In all fairness, since it was the heathen Indians who saved their lives, shouldn’t they be thanking the Great Spirit? ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/58 "2005-09-13T03:03:46Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > And Squanto spoke perfect English? And since when can you not mention “Thanskgiving” in school? 😕 Being totally unfamiliar with Chick, the Squanto comment was among the highlights that had me whooshed into thinking this was a parody. I remained whooshed pretty much untill the 3rd or 4th bible citation. ;j 😛 :wally ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/59 "2005-09-13T03:08:28Z")
_Meanwhile, after reading the Squanto wikipedia article…_ Oh for fuck sake. Now my unwhooshes have whooshes. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292/60 "2005-09-13T03:17:06Z")
So the Pilgrims “went to Holland to catch a boat to America” (England was never really big on ships, you know) and they “wanted to worship God and reach the lost” so… they left everybody to go where there was nobody. Except for some Indians who had buried corn because that’s what Indians did when they had so much corn they didn’t know what to do with it- they buried it so they wouldn’t have to look at it anymore… It must be fun to be Jack Chick. I think Uncle Mort’s fortune comes from supplying the PCP and crack the nephew is selling. That’s why he didn’t go to heaven. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newest-chick-tract-the-lost-day/321292.md?page=4)