# News flash: Jesse Helms Still Batshit Nuts **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 2, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040 "2005-02-02T20:50:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/1 "2005-02-02T20:50:23Z")
The headline says it all, really: > [@](#): > > [**Jesse Helms biggest fear? Bill Clinton running the United Nations**](http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/nationworld/sfl-21billclinton,0,5742289.story) > > Bill Clinton in charge of the United Nations? > > That’s the image former U.S. Sen. Jesse Helms is dangling in front of his ardent supporters in a letter aimed at raising money for his senatorial library. > > In the letter, the 83-year-old Republican, who left office in 2003 after five terms, worries that the former president has aspirations to lead the U.N. after Kofi Annan retires next year. > > …The Associated Press obtained a copy of the letter Tuesday. It contains a petition that asks President Bush to "rebuke all efforts by Hillary Clinton, John Kerry, and every other liberal in Congress to push for Bill Clinton to become Secretary-General of the United Nations.’’ Never mind that Clinton has never expressed any interest in the job, never mind that the next UN Secretary-General appointment is scheduled to go to someone from an Asian nation, never mind that there’s not a single shred of evidence whatsoever that this scenario would ever come true… But then, I guess Mr. Helms isn’t a member of the reality-based community. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/2 "2005-02-02T20:56:27Z")
As someone who is ambivilant about Clinton, and sees the U.N. as a potentially good (though neutered) force in the world… Why would it be such a bad thing? Why would it be a good one? Does it _MATTER_? -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/3 "2005-02-02T20:58:54Z")
And also I think people from the permanent Security Council nations can’t be Sec-Gen. But hey. Anyway, this must be some definition of “news flash” I wasn’t previously aware of, because this is less than surprising. Wait, Jesse Helms and a _library_? Nevermind, I’m very surprised! ---
**Author:** ![G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.B.H.Hornswoggler)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/4 "2005-02-02T21:05:08Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > Never mind that Clinton has never expressed any interest in the job, never mind that the next UN Secretary-General appointment is scheduled to go to someone from an Asian nation, never mind that there’s not a single shred of evidence whatsoever that this scenario would ever come true… Ah, but this is a **fund-raising** letter, and it sounds like a brilliant one at that. Picture yourself as a Republican fund-raiser: it’s an off-year, your team is in control of nearly everything, and you’ve got no hook to drag in the suckers…sorry, loyal party members, and get them to contribute. So what do you do? You remember one of the things that always works: fear. So you pick a scenario that’s reasonably plausible on its face, and claim that you’ll stand four-square against it. _Voila!_ You now have a successful fund-raising campaign. We can now look forward to prominent Republicans sternly promising that Hillary will not be allowed to be appointed Imperial Overlord of the EU, that Kerry will not be named a Supreme Court Justice, and that Barack Obama will not get to use the nice restroom in the Senate. ---
**Author:** ![RadioWave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/91b2a8/32.png) [@RadioWave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RadioWave)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/5 "2005-02-02T21:17:41Z")
> [@G.B.H. Hornswoggler](#): > > Ah, but this is a **fund-raising** letter, and it sounds like a brilliant one at that. Picture yourself as a Republican fund-raiser: it’s an off-year, your team is in control of nearly everything, and you’ve got no hook to drag in the suckers…sorry, loyal party members, and get them to contribute. > > So what do you do? You remember one of the things that always works: fear. So you pick a scenario that’s reasonably plausible on its face, and claim that you’ll stand four-square against it. > > _Voila!_ You now have a successful fund-raising campaign. > > We can now look forward to prominent Republicans sternly promising that Hillary will not be allowed to be appointed Imperial Overlord of the EU, that Kerry will not be named a Supreme Court Justice, and that Barack Obama will not get to use the nice restroom in the Senate. I agree completely. It doesn’t matter if there’s not an atom’s weight of truth to an allegation, it’s the cognitive association that matters now. I’ll take it one step further and say that both sides will indulge heavily in these tactics for the 2002 mid-terms. By 2004, it will be nearly impossible to tell the difference between a campaign ad and that guy who stands out on the street corner screaming at stop signs. “Don’t let Bush and Congressman \ sell Iraqi children to big corporations!” “How can you stand by while Barrack Obama and Bruce Springsteen voted for communism?” ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/6 "2005-02-02T22:02:12Z")
> [@RadioWave](#): > > I agree completely. It doesn’t matter if there’s not an atom’s weight of truth to an allegation, it’s the cognitive association that matters now. … Exactly! Cognitive Association is the number one threat to the Republic, which far outweighs…oh, wait. Mmmmm. 'Scuse, phone’s ringing… ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/7 "2005-02-02T22:07:47Z")
> [@RadioWave](#): > > I’ll take it one step further and say that both sides will indulge heavily in these tactics for the **2002** mid-terms. By **2004** , it will be nearly impossible to tell the difference … (bolding mine) I’d admit I may be whooshed here; but what years are you talking about? ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/8 "2005-02-02T22:52:52Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > But then, I guess Mr. Helms isn’t a member of the reality-based community. I hate crediting Jesse with anything but the ability to produce a bowel movement, but in this instance I think he’s being very shrewd. He knows who he’s dealing with. He could stand up on a podium and simply blurt out “Gays! Hillary! 9/11!” and half the Republicans in the country soil themselves. The other half feel urgently compelled to make donations to the Christian Coalition, and then go out back and shoot cardboard cutouts of W.J. Clinton with homemade silver bullets in case the cold sweats won’t go away. Juxtaposing Clinton and the UN in any speech is textbook FUD. Does it make any sense? Who cares? He talks like that and people see vivid images of The Beast leering at them from New York. Fear is the friend of the Republican pol., and it’s the batshit crazy electorate getting played like a fiddle you need to worry about. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/9 "2005-02-02T22:56:13Z")
I agree that Jesse Helms is Batshit Nuts, but hes not far off on this one. I had heard a LOT of speculation late last year regarding Clinton having interest in the SecGen job. I remember reading that most of the rest of the world would support this, as he is still very popular. The strongest opposition would be from Batshit Nuts American Conservatives (BNACs). Especially under the administration of King George II. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/10 "2005-02-02T22:59:44Z")
I don’t think Helms is crazy. More like one mean, nasty rotten rat bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/11 "2005-02-02T23:03:04Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > As someone who is ambivilant about Clinton, and sees the U.N. as a potentially good (though neutered) force in the world… > > Why would it be such a bad thing? Why would it be a good one? > > Does it _MATTER_? > > -Joe As someone who rather likes (Bill) Clinton, and sees the UN as a bad joke… I pretty much agree. Let him be the General Secretary. My only concern is that I’m not sure Hillary could handle the eroticism of his title. She might start doing things with her little red book. ---
**Author:** ![RadioWave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/91b2a8/32.png) [@RadioWave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RadioWave)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/12 "2005-02-02T23:13:48Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > (bolding mine) I’d admit I may be whooshed here; but what years are you talking about? Whoa! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve done since the Spring of 2007. Menosleepnobrainnow ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/13 "2005-02-02T23:13:50Z")
> [@RadioWave](#): > > 'll take it one step further and say that both sides will indulge heavily in these tactics for the **2002** mid-terms. **By 2004, it will be** nearly impossible to tell the difference between a campaign ad and that guy who stands out on the street corner screaming at stop signs. That’d be quite a thing to see, as it’s the year 2005. I’ll second the question, is this a woosh? If so, what is the thrust of your suggestion? ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/14 "2005-02-02T23:39:40Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > As someone who rather likes (Bill) Clinton, and sees the UN as a bad joke… I pretty much agree. Let him be the General Secretary. My only concern is that I’m not sure Hillary could handle the eroticism of his title. She might start doing things with her little red book. And from [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=287685&page=2&pp=50&highlight=Clinton) thread. > [@Liberal](#): > > He continues to deny [Monica Lewinsky] her rights, even as the depositions and trial are underway, by obstructing justice and lying under oath. He has the emotional maturity of a twelve-year-old boy and is delusional and psychotic, living in denial and shaking his finger at the people whose rights he swore to protect. There is a long history of allegations from women who were his underlings that range from harassment to rape. Now, I’m not going to even _try_ to figure out how these two statements might be sanely reconciled. I imagine it can somehow be explained away by some-or-other appeal to Christian forgiveness or whatever. I’m really just curious: As W.J. Clinton is, in summary, a immature delusional psychotic, and you kinda _like_ him, what on Earth has Hillary done that is sufficient for you not to like her? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/15 "2005-02-03T00:11:26Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > As W.J. Clinton is, in summary, a immature delusional psychotic, and you kinda _like_ him, what on Earth has Hillary done that is sufficient for you not to like her? She said that raising taxes was good at one point. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/16 "2005-02-03T00:45:44Z")
[hijack]I gave up trying to understand where Liberal was coming from a long time ago. Now, I’m not sure why anyone would bother.[/hijack] If wishes were effective, I would wish that the citizens of America could be consistently able to see through such transparently manipulative crap, as typified in the OP. I think the jury is out as to whether Helms is insane or evil. Both are possible. By the way, what’s the word on whether the S.-G. of the U.N. can be from a permanent member of the security council? I also seem to remember hearing somewhere that this isn’t permitted. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/news-flash-jesse-helms-still-batshit-nuts/288040/17 "2005-02-03T05:41:55Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > By the way, what’s the word on whether the S.-G. of the U.N. can be from a permanent member of the security council? All the charter seems to say about the selection is: > [@](#): > > The Secretariat shall comprise a Secretary-General and such staff as the Organization may require. The Secretary-General shall be appointed by the General Assembly upon the recommendation of the Security Council. He shall be the chief administrative officer of the Organization.