# Newsflash: stupid car owners **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 15, 2003, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560 "2003-05-15T22:53:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/21 "2003-05-16T18:41:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SweetLucy \* > \*\*I agree! Hummers look like giant rolling crabs. All they’re lacking are the pinchers 😃 \*\* Stop giving them new ideas! ---
**Author:** ![Southpaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@Southpaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southpaw)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/22 "2003-05-16T19:01:59Z")
FWIW there’s a livery service near me that has a _stretch_ Hummer. I thought the stretch Excursion was bad, but this takes the cake. And yes, it is a ugly as you think. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/23 "2003-05-16T19:25:44Z")
Remember, kids – these folks breed and vote. :eek: I don’t know which one is scarier. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/24 "2003-05-16T19:58:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Exgineer \* > \*\*Not always. > > I bought an F 150 pickup instead. \*\* THANK YOU for a much-needed laugh! This cracked me up! :D:D:D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/25 "2003-05-16T22:32:29Z")
Well, sheeit. It’s a gow-dayum Army truck. Don’ it have a nucular power plant a’ somethin? ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/26 "2003-05-16T22:34:20Z")
In other news: big fat guy [mistakes Isetta for slice of cherry pie](http://www.microcar.org/mmnewsImages/isetta-bill.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/27 "2003-05-16T22:40:49Z")
My roommate, who is female, wants a Hummer. Somehow, I don’t think she’s all that concerned about her cock size. She says she wants one so she can drive over other cars when there’s too much traffic. This is why she should never have one. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/28 "2003-05-16T22:46:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SisterCoyote \* > \*\*My roommate, who is female, wants a Hummer…She says she wants one so she can drive over other cars when there’s too much traffic. > \*\* Well, yeah, but the same traffic will just pass her again while she sits at the gas station refilling her tank! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/29 "2003-05-16T22:49:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LilyoftheValley \* > \*\*Well, yeah, but the same traffic will just pass her again while she sits at the gas station refilling her _tank_! 😃 \*\* [italics added] Ooooh I didn’t even intend that pun there. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/30 "2003-05-17T00:51:57Z")
The thing is, it’s not even an army truck, it’s a civilian pretty-boy with an army truck’s name. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/31 "2003-05-17T02:41:07Z")
Do they only come in buttercup yellow? Cause that’s the only colour I’ve seen them in so far. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/32 "2003-05-17T19:50:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Payton’s Servant \* > \*\*They are mostly bought by fat guys who are insecure about the fact that when erect, their cock is 2.4 inches long. \*\* Not around here. Seems like most H2s on the road are driven by Gen-X aged women with “power hair.” Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/33 "2003-05-17T21:37:23Z")
Ditto on seeing mostly women driving Hummers. I would joke after seeing them that they probably get enough mileage to get you to the next gas station after filling up. I prefer driving a glorified go-cart; much easier to zip around these huge moving road blocks. **featherlou** : I have seen many yellow ones, a few red ones, and I think, one black one. I think the one in the television commercial I also saw was black. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/34 "2003-05-18T02:18:22Z")
Anyone listen to NPR? This very story was on the show “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me”. They have a segment where a listener has to guess which one of three outrageous stories with a certain theme is actually true. Today’s theme was : Caveat Emptor…Buyer Beware: Three stories of consumer idiocy. You can hear it [here](http://www.npr.org/programs/waitwait/thisweek.html). I about fell out of my chair when I heard them using the very story that I started a pit rant about. Wonder if any of their staff are Dopers? By the way, I have to say that you Dopers who have replied have been wa-a-ay funnier than the people they have on this show, who are supposed to be funny by profession. (Eeek…such glowing praise in the Pit!) ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/35 "2003-05-18T05:03:34Z")
Hey, I love that show. It cracks me up. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![J\_String](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ce73a5/32.png) [@J\_String](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J_String)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/36 "2003-05-18T06:56:12Z")
Behold, the “stretch” H2. [http://www.nicolls.com/hummer.htm](http://www.nicolls.com/hummer.htm) ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/37 "2003-05-18T13:43:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jinwicked \* > \*\*Hey, I love that show. It cracks me up. ☹ \*\* Oh, don’t get me wrong. I like the show; that’s why I was listening. I was just disappointed that on _this topic_ they were less funny than SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/38 "2003-05-18T13:51:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SisterCoyote \* > \*\*My roommate, who is female, wants a Hummer. > > Somehow, I don’t think she’s all that concerned about her cock size. > > She says she wants one so she can drive over other cars when there’s too much traffic.\*\* About 20 years ago, Car & Driver named the top 5 vehicles to have in New York City. The Humvee made the list for that very reason even though there was no civilian version yet. ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/39 "2003-05-19T02:28:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by E-Sabbath \* > \*\*The thing is, it’s not even an army truck, it’s a civilian pretty-boy with an army truck’s name. \*\* To be precise, it’s an uglified Chevy Tahoe. (cite: the 2003 cars issue of _Consumer Reports_) I see these things all the time, here in the OC Wastelands where BMW Z3s are more common than VW Beetles. There’s one guy who lives in the complex next to mine that drives a babyshit brown H2. Every time I see him creeping up on the driveway like the bump is gonna ruin his suspension, I crack up. Now especially, I crack up and snicker, “It’s a jacked-up Tahoe!” (disclaimer: got nothin’ against the un-uglified Tahoe) ---
**Author:** ![Zap\_Rowsdower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3da27b/32.png) [@Zap\_Rowsdower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zap_Rowsdower)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560/40 "2003-05-19T03:13:49Z")
I have known many people, mostly women who like SUVs because they sit higher up in traffic, which I never understood. In the end you are still stuck in traffic. I also find it interesting that we (in the US) can get bigger and bigger cars, yet those of us who want to go the opposite direction, like the Isetta for example, do not have that as a viable option. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/newsflash-stupid-car-owners/175560.md?page=1)