Just please remember that a lot of people who don’t use funeral homes. Some people use cremations services right away and a funeral home never takes part in the process. For example, we used cremation services when my father died. We had a funeral director, but there was NO funeral home. The person who answered the phone refused to take information for a death notice because without a funeral home, “for all they knew my father was still alive and walking around.”
The editor of the newspaper was so mortified when my mom ended up crying hysterically on the phone that we got the obits for free. They also apologised profusely because a funeral director from a cremation service has all the qualifications and paperwork they need. (Note: In Canada it can take months to get the official government Death Certificate, but there is another certificate that the coroner fills out that you can use in the meantime as proof of death.)
The rule is not just to avoid “family conflict” but more to prevent outright fraud. Like some jackass listing himself in the obits in order to weasel his way out of financial debt or something.
With a funeral director who has all the proper credentials and paperwork, that risk is mitigated heavily.
The paper I worked for had two kinds of notices. “Death notices,” which gave the bare-bones facts and were written by newspaper staff, were free. “Obituaries,” which were written by the families, were treated as advertisements. I believe there was a similar setup for engagement and wedding announcements. Anything with a photograph came with a hefty charge. It seems perfectly reasonable to me.
No they are not! Not around here, not among the working classes. Everyone always says this to justify their greed, but I don’t see it occurring among me and mine.
Sorry they’re not where you are. The minimum wage in Illinois increased by a dollar at the beginning of last year. Though come to think of it, I don’t suppose it’ll have too much effect on newspapers after a while, as all the laid-off journalists will create a glut of supply, likely driving the average salary down.
We take obits from cremation services, no problem. The issue, as you said, is to have some official weight behind it, so that we don’t end up in the middle of a family feud or, as you noted, become unwitting vessels for someone’s fraud.
We have also taken several obits for people who donated their bodies to science right from the families, just because there’s no funeral home involved then and we’re not complete hardasses.
LOL, Ii am donating my body to the medical vultures to harvest what they can, then give it to someone who will use it as a training aid or for target practice or whatever. If we get ashes back, that is ok - if we dont that is OK also. I am not having an obit, though I plan on having all my online subscriptions cancelled, and certain email and online communities will get told I am dead [mainly so nobody can hijack my identity, not that I am wonder girl or anything=)] and I have a wake planned and the music, food and invitees are all planned out and in a file along with my current will.
I am not having a traditional wake, just a party to distribute my worldly goodies, some great food and good music. If people want to remember me, they can donate something to anything they like in my name, or if it is winter they can pee my name in the snow for all i care [ill be dead, and I dont plan on haunting anybody or sticking around. I plan on either joining the great spirit, or recycling for another go around on the wheel, or maybe heaven, or nothingness. I have no clue what is waiting for me when I croak :rolleyes: ]
I know i do NOT want to support the funeral industry. Why in the name of GHU did it cost 150 for the hairdresser to do my grandmothers hair when doing it when she was alive was 15? She was a hell of a lot less trouble dead. We provided the clothing, but it cost 500 to dress her … and it was almost 500 to smear makeup on her face. I could have painted a barbie doll and had it look better than that. They used colors that would have been better for a teenager - electric blue eyeshadow, fake eyelashes, screaming red lipstick and seriously red rouge. The only thing that was vaguely right was the foundation was just about perfect.
I think that the whole planting thing ran the estate something like 10K$US back in 1981. She already owned the plot and stone [well Grandpa was planted first, so half of it was taken…] Ghu alone knows how much it would have cost if we had needed to get a rock and pile of dirt.
Hear! Hear! And in many states, you cannot dispose of a body without going through the funeral industry. Which I find particularly galling. Here in NYS, not only is there an effective mandate to support this industry, but the state office that nominally supervises it claims it cannot be assed to actually, like, inspect or enforce standards. Just collect fees, and make sure people keep using them. :rolleyes:
While I agree with you about the funeral industry as it stands (the various bullshit they put the families through makes the $150 or so most people pay for our obits look almost free), I think the answer is to better regulate them to prevent the 3000 percent markups on things and all that, not to go around them. How else would you get rid of a body? No other way is really safe, and, anyway, dead people seriously freak me out and the one thing the FH does that is very good is take it away from me so I don’t have to be around it. The fact that people used to have wakes in their houses and stuff makes me feel all barfy. shudder
You raise some good points. I think that there is a difference between what’s needed in an urban environment and what’s possible in a rural one, and the law shouldn’t forget that. I also have questions about the need for embalming all corpses. But, while I’ll gripe about the industry and the governmental role in supporting it, I’ll also admit, like you, that I’d rather not have to deal with the bodies of my loved ones myself.
The problem I have with the idea of forcing better regulation on the industry is that, well - nothing is going to change without popular support for the idea. And a large portion of the population goes to great lengths to avoid recognizing that mortality is part of the human condition. When you add to that the factors of bureaucratic inertia and (locally at least) a broken state legislature, getting any meaningful change enacted is starting to look like the labors of Sisyphus. Or at least mucking out the Augean stables.
Now I find out the Vancouver paper needs a death certificate, as there is no funeral home involved, the death certificate my b-i-l hasn’t got yet, and he’s in Alberta . . . oh, well. *These things are sent to try us, * as someone or other said.
I don’t think the obituary in the Vancouver paper should be free. I just think they charge too much. As for the suburban weeklies, as someone above said, if it wasn’t for high school sports, etc., they wouldn’t even have a bloody paper. Of course they can charge what they like and of course I can refuse to put the obituary in any of the papers, but my sister is probably only going to die once and it would be nice if we could let people know she’s dead without going broke.
Funerals are appallingly expensive. I heard a guy on the radio last year who said that in the US the cheapest funeral you can get is $2,000 because ANYONE can raise $2,000. It is such a ripoff, every single aspect of it is a ripoff, but no one knows how to do anything else these days.
There is a movement afoot for “green funerals”, without embalming, etc., and it’s something I’m going to look into.
I was under the imporession that all orthodox Jewish funerals (and Islamic as well) we done without embalming. I don’t think embalming is required, unless there is going to be a viewing, or a delay of more than a day or so before burial.
The funeral industry is just biding their time until us baby boomers start dropping en masse in about 20 years. They’ll prosper beyond their wildest dreams.
To treat all the funeral industry professionals who get boots up their arses?
I never realized that an obituary was a common thingy. Granted, I hardly know anyone who has passed, but I don’t honestly see the point.
All I know is that when I die, you can take a truck to the ghetto and find a couple of old couches, stick me on top of them with a flower, and set fire to the lot. Afterward - open bar!
I haven’t yet reached the time of life when I read the obituary column to find out if I’m dead or not, but I do scan it nearly every day. That’s because I’ve reached the time of life when the parents of my old friends are falling fast, and I like to send a card or make a phone call to express my sympathy. These are people I knew when I was a child, most of whom I was fond of. And now and again there are awful shocks, since my contemporaries are also “going” faster than I would like. Those old school friends, old neighbours, who see my sister’s obit will probably call my Mum or me or my sisters and brothers, and odd as it might seem to some, those calls and cards are comforting.
Perhaps the obscene prices were due to the fact that the obit was 200 words. Anyone else think that may be a bit much to expect not paying advertising prices?
Well, that may be in a way. However, according to some posters here, they don’t charge those prices in some areas for Wedding/Engagement/Graduation announcements. Just for Obituaries. That is rather predatory, don’t you agree?
There is a kind of fad right now for long obituaries. Some go on for a 3/4 of a column or even more and I’ve heard that some people choose to spend lavishly on the obituary since often there is no formal funeral or memorial service. Could be, I guess.
My sister’s said what our family wanted to be said about her. 200 words was about as short as I could cut it. And it’s been paid for. I said before and I’ll say again, I think they charge too much. I think they charge so much because they know people will pay it. Who wants to argue about the price of an obituary? I don’t quite see it as “just another advertisement”, but I also don’t think it should be free in a big city daily. The local papers? It turns out that the local papers don’t charge for wedding stories, but they sure as hell charge for obituaries.
Depends. Wedding announcements might be read more, and might drive better advertsing. There could be retailers who want their ad on the wedding page, but not on the obit page.
Newshounds - is the demand better for ads on one vs. the other?