# Next on Fox: When Bosses Attack **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 7, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331 "2005-06-07T18:52:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/1 "2005-06-07T18:52:32Z")
Un-fucking-believable. I now have something like 27 managers, and not one of them can agree on what I need to be doing. Two of them are the worst. B & J (appropriately named) choose to directly contradict each other on what I should be working on. If one says to work on X, the other will come back with “I told you to work on Y. And I’m your boss. I’m the one that gives you your paycheck.” So I work on Y. And then I’m told that I was directly instructed to work on X. The problem is that B is an incompetent idiot who loves to call meetings and give instructions but has not a clue as to what needs to be done. But she’s a ranking person in the project. No one is sure how she got to be that rank. J, on the other hand, is not only a visionary (in his own mind), but is the person who hired me. He’s so out of the loop that anything he wants is irrelevant. It’s like one of my few peers (and yet, another one of my managers) said: “It’s like B & J are getting a divorce, and we’re the kids.” So true. What makes it all worse is that my afternoon office has been moved so that Clueless B’s office is behind me. Which means that she’s looking over my shoulder all the fucking time. This sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2005, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/2 "2005-06-07T18:58:41Z")
You could look at this as a great experience for teaching you all kinds of lessons of patience, etc. Or you could look for another job, if you don’t want to get _that_ enlightened. Actually, it might be time to start yelling. At both of them. How about “You’re tearing me apart!”, a la James Dean? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/3 "2005-06-07T19:03:39Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Actually, it might be time to start yelling. At both of them. How about “You’re tearing me apart!”, a la James Dean? Problem with that is if I ever get them in the same room at the same time, they just yell at each other. And nothing gets resolved. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/4 "2005-06-07T19:05:29Z")
Show her this: [Hey! CLUELESS B…YOU SUCK YOU IGNORANT MORON ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/5 "2005-06-07T19:05:39Z")
Go to FOX and offer to carry a camera in your bag. Create a series of memos that convice B, J, and Teh-Uber-Boss of your company to show up at the same conference room at the same time, but under different pretenses, ala the Parent Trap. Provide donuts. When they are all there, patienly and emotionlessly outline one at a time the various conflicting things that B and J want you to do. Allow B and J to start arguing with eachother like kindergardeners. When Teh-Uber-Boss finally gets sick of all of it, calmly present your Letter of Immediate Resignation. Sell the tape to FOX. Collect one million dollars. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/6 "2005-06-07T19:08:56Z")
Show her this: Hey! CLUELESS B…YOU SUCK YOU IGNORANT MORON ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/7 "2005-06-07T19:10:13Z")
Uh, sorry. Got the white screen and thought it didn’t post the first time. Screw it, show her twice. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/8 "2005-06-07T19:10:22Z")
P.S.: You’ve seen the movie _Office Space_, yes? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2005, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/9 "2005-06-07T19:17:51Z")
> [@Pullet](#): > > P.S.: You’ve seen the movie _Office Space_, yes? About 12 times. When Peter says “I have 4 supervisors”, I yell “is that all?” at the TV. Gotta say, though, that what Samir, Michael Bolton, and Peter do to the fax machine, I have often fantasized about doing to B. ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/10 "2005-06-07T23:12:59Z")
You need to learn the cc: and bcc: functions of Outlook. To: B CC: J BCC: Big Boss Subject: Project X Hey, B - you told me to do X at 1300. At 1400 J came by and told me to drop X for Y. Can you and J get together and coordinate this? * * * To: Big Boss Subject: B&J Dear Sir: I hate to bother you with this, but not a day goes by that B&J don’t argue about X&Y. I know you are extremely busy, but I would appreciate it if you could carve out a few minutes and give me a quick brief on the master flowchart so I know in which direction we’re headed. * * * I draw a blank after that but it’s a start for someone smarter tham I am. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/11 "2005-06-08T13:32:14Z")
I think Chique is on to something. Not only is it a reasonable course of action, it also sounds like a professional act. It also shows that you’re interested in getting the job done and might be better than either B or J at managing your own work. The drawback is that you will probably draw the ire of both B&J. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/12 "2005-06-08T13:41:50Z")
Get a Mead composition notebook and keep a journal. Every single time you get conflicting instructions put it in the journal. Make sure you date stamp it. This will be very handy if you ever need to take legal action for any reason. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/13 "2005-06-08T13:45:19Z")
> [@chique](#): > > You need to learn the cc: and bcc: functions of Outlook. > > To: B > CC: J > BCC: Big Boss > Subject: Project X > > Hey, B - you told me to do X at 1300. At 1400 J came by and told me to drop X for Y. Can you and J get together and coordinate this? > > * * * > > To: Big Boss > Subject: B&J > > Dear Sir: > > I hate to bother you with this, but not a day goes by that B&J don’t argue about X&Y. I know you are extremely busy, but I would appreciate it if you could carve out a few minutes and give me a quick brief on the master flowchart so I know in which direction we’re headed. > > * * * To: Chique From: Big Boss Re: B&J Please drop both X and Y and immediately proceed with Z. Regards, Big Boss ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/14 "2005-06-08T16:43:09Z")
Yup. But at least you’d have it in writing, then. Hey, maybe that’s what you should do, **tdn**. Tell them that due to conflicting instructions, you require all instructions in the form of emails now. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/15 "2005-06-08T17:43:06Z")
> [@chique](#): > > To: Big Boss > Subject: B&J > > Dear Sir: > > I hate to bother you with this, but not a day goes by that B&J don’t argue about X&Y. I know you are extremely busy, but I would appreciate it if you could carve out a few minutes and give me a quick brief on the master flowchart so I know in which direction we’re headed. I know someone who tried this. Big Boss immediately put in paperwork to have the employee fired. Fortunately, Little Boss (employee’s direct supervisor who was also getting his head spun around 180 degrees every other hour) intervened and got the paperwork cancelled. Aren’t corporate politics fun? ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/16 "2005-06-09T18:26:45Z")
Why would Big Boss want to get this employee fired? I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Stringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Stringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringer)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/next-on-fox-when-bosses-attack/307331/17 "2005-06-09T18:36:45Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > Why would Big Boss want to get this employee fired? I don’t get it. The Big Boss certainly wouldn’t deign to read an email from an inferior!