# Nick's Christmas Tale **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 20, 2000, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nicks-christmas-tale/46467 "2000-12-20T03:48:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2000, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nicks-christmas-tale/46467/1 "2000-12-20T03:48:48Z")
taken from this site, [http://homepage.ntlworld.com/fiona.davison/poem.htm](http://homepage.ntlworld.com/fiona.davison/poem.htm) (where permission to repost electronically is explicitly given), written by Fiona Davison. Nick’s Christmas Tale It came upon a Christmas weary, When all the fields were bleak and dreary, A mist did limn the fields that night Snow lay all around and out of sight. When who should come dressed all in red? A figure who was most well-fed! His breath across the fields did steam, Star-shine in his eyes did gleam… Checking his list, not once but twice, Of children who were quiet as mice, Of who had been as good as gold, Of who had been far too bold… A list of all, both good and ill A list with just desserts to fill… Yes, you have guessed the trick… Not Santa Claus, but Old Nick! Strutting across the Christmas fields, A pitchfork and sack at once he wields! Sulphur stench around him spread, From the snow, the white had fled! Into the town his hooves did trot, And no one stirred but a tiny tot, Who turned and dreamed of reindeer hooves - Though far more hideous the truth did prove! Into the nursery and into the stable Even from off the parson’s table, Into each house and from out of each cot From oldest to youngest to least little tot The devil did steal and take more souls Than fruit did heap in the Christmas bowls. Out of the town, he crept aquiver Sneaked through the fields and crossed the river, Then sitting upon his now full sack, He dropped his fork & paused for a snack… Which choice morsel to have to a bite? Fillet of soul is Hell’s respite! But stay, a sound! No! Surely not? No one had stirred but the tiny tot! He leapt to his feet, grabbed fork and sack And whirling, he dashed townwards back! But down from the sky in a bolt of light A blazing, storming, curious sight! Out of control and falling ever, Faster and faster and nearer ever… A sleigh did come in such a wild ride ALL the games and toys spilled from inside! Tearing down from the sky with cloven hooves To smash one on the ground with cloven hooves! Donner and Blitzen, Dasher and Prancer… Full racks of horns that Nick would have to answer… Many pointed were the stars that shone that night And the eyes of reindeer held a furious light. On Dasher, On Dancer, On Vixen and Comet! The saint roared from the dive’s high summit! On Donner, On Blitzen, On Prancer and Cupid! The wind roared, trees shook, the descent was so rapid! Off with a bound ran Old Nick, Across the fields he fled so quick, But Saint Nick was not to be outdone And reindeer in flight cannot be outrun… Till at last, with a crash and a terrible cry The sky swirled, time stopped and snow flew by… In an impact so terrible that words cannot say Old Nick was flung on his own merry way. Not a trace was left, not even his shadow, But a blot on the snow of bright sulphur yellow! And Santa just paused to pick up the sack, As a new delivery was added to his track. This year, with new gifts, would come one that was old, As souls were returned to their owners, more precious than gold! And out in the fields, by the cold river A tot pointed and said to friends with a shiver: See those prints there, a-crossing the river? I told you I heard reindeer go dashing out -thither. And smiled to see the prints of Old Nick, For none had fathomed Santa Claus’ trick! © Fiona Davison December 2000 All rights reserved. This material may be reproduced electronically without breach of copyright as long as no charge for the material is made, a link to this site is provided and the author’s name is cited. All publication rights reserved. [sub] BTW, my IRL name is Fiona Davison, and I started writing this on the way to work Tuesday 19 December…and could still remember enough to finish it off later that afternoon when I was driving a car![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2000, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nicks-christmas-tale/46467/2 "2000-12-20T03:50:39Z")
when I was **not** driving a car…sorry! ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2000, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nicks-christmas-tale/46467/3 "2000-12-20T03:51:08Z")
Great poem, Fierra , I think I’ll print it out, that is if I can get the permission of the author 😉 Keith ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2000, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nicks-christmas-tale/46467/4 "2000-12-20T03:52:25Z")
::applauds:: I like, fierra! More? ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2000, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nicks-christmas-tale/46467/5 "2000-12-20T03:55:53Z")
I like it Fierra. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2000, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nicks-christmas-tale/46467/6 "2000-12-20T13:39:15Z")
bumpity, bump, bump ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2000, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nicks-christmas-tale/46467/7 "2000-12-20T13:48:47Z")
Well I liked it **Fierra** , as I said last night. I thought it was cute, dark in a way, disturbing, and funny. You just posted it kinda late is all, that’s why it dropped. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2000, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nicks-christmas-tale/46467/8 "2000-12-20T13:51:24Z")
I think this was written by Tony Rodelle Larsen: [quote] Cool Yule 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the pad Not a hepcat was swinging and that’s _nowhere_, dad The stove was hung up in the stocking routine In hopes that the fat man would soon make the scene The kids had all had it, so they hit their sacks And me and the bride had just begun to relax When there started a rumble that came on real frantic So I opened the window to figure the panic I saw a square short that was makin’ fat tracks Bein’ pulled by eight dogs who were wearing hat racks And a funny old geezer was flippin’ his lid He told them to “make it”, and man, like, they did! I couldn’t help diggin’ the scene on the roof As I stood there just waiting for chubby to goof They stood by the chimney in bunches and clusters 'Til chubby slid down coming on like gang-busters His threads were the squarest and I just had to chuckle In front, not in back, was his Ivy League buckle The mop on his chin hid his button-down collar And with that red nose, man, he looked like a baller Like, he was the squarest, the most abso_lute_ But face it, who cares when he left all that loot? He laid the jazz on me and fled from the gig Wailin’, “Have a cool Yule and man, later like, dig?” [quote] Now, this was before my time so I have a couple questions: What is a “baller” in the context of the poem? What’s the deal with the Ivy League buckle? Are they big and usually worn in back? One of those weird Eastern U.S. things? BTW: I read on Snopes that Clement Clarke Moore may not have written _A Visit from Saint Nick_, but just took credit for it later. A newspaper credited him as the author and since the alledged author had died, he did nothing to correct them. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2000, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nicks-christmas-tale/46467/9 "2000-12-20T15:47:38Z")
Well done, **fierra**! I can’t help but think of a guy named Nick who I knew a long time ago. He was an old guy who drove a truck, and at this time of year he would wear a Santa hat. He was real grubby, and he kind of smelled like sulphur, too. But he wasn’t the devil. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2000, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nicks-christmas-tale/46467/10 "2000-12-20T18:55:38Z")
This is the last timee I’ll post here just in case nobody has read this… Keith ---
**Author:** ![rundogrun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5daacb/32.png) [@rundogrun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rundogrun)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nicks-christmas-tale/46467/11 "2000-12-20T20:47:23Z")
EXCELLENT!!! I totally dug it.