# Nigeria is one f###ked up country **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 2, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267 "2007-07-02T19:31:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/41 "2007-07-04T08:34:10Z")
[QUOTE=Giraffe] I feel my performance is commensurate with my salary. 😉 [/QUOTE] And I’m sure you’re worth every penny. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/42 "2007-07-04T11:20:08Z")
I feel that the machete, as a political methedology, is outdated. We must move on. We must uses axes. ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/43 "2007-07-04T19:57:12Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] I feel that the machete, as a political methedology, is outdated. We must move on. We must uses axes. [/QUOTE] Pffft. Get with the times. [Halberds](http://www.mwart.com/images/p/Halberds_15th_Century_Swiss_Halberd_52637_2482.jpg) are the way to go. They’re kinda like Axes 2.0. (And this is a Norwegian cum Viking speaking. We should know, no? Damn you, Switzerland!) (Halberdocracy or Axocracy?) ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/44 "2007-07-05T01:46:05Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] I feel that the machete, as a political methedology, is outdated. We must move on. We must uses axes. [/QUOTE] Read my lips: NO NEW AXES! [QUOTE=Gukumatz] a Norwegian cum Viking [/QUOTE] The mind reels. The _regular_ Vikings were bad enough. Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/45 "2007-07-05T01:54:43Z")
[QUOTE=Sailboat] Read my lips: NO NEW AXES! [/QUOTE] And you just blew the election! Way to go. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/46 "2007-07-05T04:32:08Z")
If we outlaw machetes, only outlaws wi… I’ll come in again. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/47 "2007-07-05T04:57:44Z")
[QUOTE=Gukumatz] a Norwegian cum Viking [/QUOTE] Now _that_ is one kind of Viking that you would really rather not have pillaging your coastal village. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/48 "2007-07-05T05:14:28Z")
Everybody talks about Nigerians buying machetes from Nigerians, but if you really want to get to the source of the problem, you have to do something about all these inexpensive Chinese-made machetes flooding the market. Why, just last month I paid $3.00 at Harbor Freight tools for a chepa Chinese-made machete with a comfortable rubber handle. it took me 10 minutes on the bench grinder to put an edge on it and it went dull after one use. No, people, Nigeria will never be free until they can produce their _own_ machetes, all the way from mining and smelting the ore, producing decent quality steel and forming it into good machetes themselves. Only then will Nigeria have something to be proud of! No more of these cheap Chinese machetes for Nigeria! They should threaten to cut up political opponents with a tool they can be proud to weild menacingly. Besides, it might keep them busy enough to stop forging US Postal Service money orders and leave me alone on ebay, [roommates.com](http://roommates.com) and myspace. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/49 "2007-07-05T06:55:15Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] And you just blew the election! Way to go. [/QUOTE] I 'unno, talking about the “axes of evil” can get you pretty far. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/50 "2007-07-05T09:11:35Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Now _that_ is one kind of Viking that you would really rather not have pillaging your coastal village. [/QUOTE] I believe Norwegian cum made an impact on the North-Eastern English gene pool that is perceptible to this day. Thanks, Vikings! ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/51 "2007-07-05T15:11:43Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] I believe Norwegian cum made an impact on the North-Eastern English gene pool that is perceptible to this day. Thanks, Vikings! [/QUOTE] I just know I’ve seen porn with this theme somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/52 "2007-07-05T15:13:25Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] I believe Norwegian cum made an impact on the North-Eastern English gene pool that is perceptible to this day. Thanks, Vikings! [/QUOTE] I know there’s some kind of puerile pun to be made here, probably involving words such as “longboat,” “helmet” and “horn(y),” but I’m too lazy to make it. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/53 "2007-07-05T15:14:29Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] I know there’s some kind of puerile pun to be made here, probably involving words such as “longboat,” “helmet” and “horn(y),” but I’m too lazy to make it. 🆒 [/QUOTE] The jokes write themselves, really, so you don’t need to put yourself out. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/54 "2007-07-05T18:17:21Z")
A 3 year old girl has been kidnapped in Nigeria. Fucked up country? you betcha ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/55 "2007-07-05T18:20:03Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] A 3 year old girl has been kidnapped in Nigeria. Fucked up country? you betcha [/QUOTE] If that’s the criteria for “fucked up country” status, then I suspect only Vatican City may not be so considered. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/56 "2007-07-05T18:21:14Z")
[QUOTE=wring] If that’s the criteria for “fucked up country” status, then I suspect only Vatican City may not be so considered. [/QUOTE] Yeah, hell, just look at an Amber Alert sometime - or the bulletin board in the entryway of any Wal-Mart. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/57 "2007-07-05T18:38:14Z")
[QUOTE=appleciders] It’s an interesting way to gauge the violence in a country- street price of the weapon of choice. I wonder if anyone’s done an inflation-adjusted graph on the street price of an AK-47 in Iraq or Afghanistan? [/QUOTE] Probably. People keep track of the price as a [gauge of potential trouble](http://marketplace.publicradio.org/shows/2006/11/20/PM200611204.html). > [@Linked NPR story](#): > > In fact, NGOs like the Red Cross and so forth — Doctors Without Borders — they actually will often monitor the price of an AK-47 in an area. When the price is starting to go up, they realize that violence is simmering and will start to happen. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/58 "2007-07-08T02:56:53Z")
[QUOTE=flight] Probably. People keep track of the price as a [gauge of potential trouble](http://marketplace.publicradio.org/shows/2006/11/20/PM200611204.html). [/QUOTE] Is there such a thing as a futures market in AK-47s or machetes, BTW? My story, as a webmaster: Me: “I block all Nigerian IPs, because nobody but scammers and spammers have registered from that country.” PC: “Most Nigerians are good people! It’s only a small percentage that are scammers! That’s like saying all Italians are in the Mafia, because all Mafioso are Italian! You’re punishing everyone for the acts of a few! You’re a RACIST!” Me: “Well, where are those honest Nigerians? They’re not visiting my site. Are you saying that I should my community to their depredations of Nigerian scammers, allowing them to post spam for Nokia telephones and send private messages with 419 scams, so I don’t appear to be a xenophobic, jingoistic bigot?” PC: “Uhhh … you’re a RACIST!” Me: “Sigh.” About 50% of users registering from the Philippines are spammers, and 50% legit. I don’t block the Philippines; I just delete the spammers. If even a quarter of Nigerian users were legit, I’d unblock the country for their benefit. However, when EVERY one has been a spammer … no thanks. I can only keep the welcome mat rolled out for so long before it starts to wear thin. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/59 "2007-07-08T21:32:54Z")
Are Nigerian candidate debates televised? It must be lots of fun to watch . . . ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267/60 "2007-07-09T10:29:08Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] PC: “Most Nigerians are good people! It’s only a small percentage that are scammers! That’s like saying all Italians are in the Mafia, because all Mafioso are Italian! You’re punishing everyone for the acts of a few! You’re a RACIST!” [/QUOTE] See, when my PC gets possessed all it says is “Your mother flets sexps in Hell!” and “02 STUDENTID PIC 9(7).” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nigeria-is-one-f-ked-up-country/410267.md?page=4)