# Niles Crane Appreciation Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 16, 2008, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586 "2008-04-16T14:06:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2008, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/21 "2008-04-17T01:06:52Z")
Niles is the Jimmy Dorsey to Frasier’s Tommy: not the leader, not the alpha dog, but just as good at what he does as Frazh, in a way that comes from the same place yet is distinctly different. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2008, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/22 "2008-04-17T02:06:18Z")
[QUOTE=pbbth] If he were 20 years younger, 20 lbs heavier, and straight I would marry him. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Well, he’s perfect for me exactly the way he is! I have been totally in love with that guy since he was in _The Powers That Be_ (pre-_Frazier_). Yes, I’m one of only three people who actually watched it. There are two \*Frazier \*episodes that I keep permantly in Tivo: The “flour-baby” and the “valentine (ironing).” Of the latter, all I watch is DHP’s performance; I have no idea what the rest of the episode is about. And didn’t he give an absolutely chilling performance in the \*Outer Limits \*episode about a future criminal “justice” method gone wrong. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2008, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/23 "2008-04-17T02:13:30Z")
To me, the epitome of Niles was in “An Affair To Forget.” The vulnerability, the inner strength, the total lack of ept… _ **Frasier:** In the end I’m sure she’ll choose the man whose caring and sensitive. **Niles:** Oh, that was just something we used to tell ourselves in chess club._ ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2008, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/24 "2008-04-17T03:32:54Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] “Cherry bark and almonds.” The way Niles says that just breaks my heart, every time. [/QUOTE] This is what I was going to say. Yes, that’s a great moment. I haven’t seen an episode in ages, but I can picture his face as he says that line. Just amazing. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2008, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/25 "2008-04-17T05:59:13Z")
Alright. I love Niles, too. Naked. At Nervosa. 😃 But that whole show is just brilliant. How can you just pick one person? Why not [three](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLSeSAcUwjI&NR=1)? ---
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2008, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/26 "2008-04-17T06:10:31Z")
DHP was perfect as this role. Hands down. No one could have done him better. Perfectly complimented Frasier. Really made the show something more. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2008, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/27 "2008-04-17T06:34:17Z")
Frasier: [explaining the rules of a game] If I was going to go I would say, “I am the dullest person because I have never been on a rollercoaster.” All right? And then all of you that have been on a rollercoaster would give me a penny. Now we all have our pennies. Who would like to go first? Daphne? Daphne: I can’t think of anything. Frasier: Of course you can. Just say the first thing that comes into your mind. I’m the dullest person because… Daphne: Oh, I don’t know. Because I’ve never made love in a lift or a phone booth or on an aeroplane or a merry-go-round. Frasier: Okay, that’s good, but strategically speaking that’s not the best way to get our pennies. You see, it should be something that someone else might have actually… [Roz throws in a penny] …done. [Roz throws in three more pennies while everyone else stares at her] Roz: I was in college, I was trying to find myself! Niles: All you needed to do was look under the nearest man. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2008, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/28 "2008-04-17T16:19:16Z")
Was it the writing or the delivery? Because this show had some very smart writing, but the way Grammer and Pierce pull it off…every time…I wonder if it would have been as funny with different writing? ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2008, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/29 "2008-04-17T16:40:45Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > Originally Posted by ivylass > “Cherry bark and almonds.” > > The way Niles says that just breaks my heart, every time. > > This is what I was going to say. > Yes, that’s a great moment. I haven’t seen an episode in ages, but I can picture his face as he says that line. Just amazing. Fine. For those of us who haven’t troubled to memorize the entire series, could you provide a little context? When they stuck to dialogue, that show was really good. Would have been better without a laugh track or studio audience. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2008, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/30 "2008-04-17T16:44:29Z")
“Food… in the bathroom?” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2008, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/31 "2008-04-17T17:22:24Z")
The scene where Niles comes out of the bathroom covered with shaving cream. How he did that so damn deadpan is beyond me. Pierce’s deadpan delivery is so amazing; i.e.: Fraiser wanting to ask Marius for a favor: Fraiser: I’ll take her out to lunch. That way, if she says no, I’m only out a cup of broth and a saltine. Niles (deadpan): No, she likes to eat her big meal in the evening. ---
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2008, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/32 "2008-04-17T19:21:57Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] One of the most memorable _Simpsons_ eps is [“Brother from Another Series,”](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brother_from_Another_Series) the one featuring recently paroled Sideshow Bob (voiced by Kelsey Grammer) and his brother Cecil (yes, Cecil) (voiced by David Hyde Pierce). [/QUOTE] Bart: “Guess who?!” Cecil: “Maris?” Well played. My favorite is when he comes into the living room, Marty is crying and Frasier is crying, and he just starts wailing, “Nobody wants to come to my party!” ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/33 "2008-04-17T19:36:24Z")
I think this is from the pilot episode of “Frasier”: Frasier: You’re so obvious. I can always tell what you’re thinking. Niles: Really? Well, then…I apologize for THIS. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/34 "2008-04-18T01:35:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Quote: > Originally Posted by BiblioCat > Originally Posted by ivylass > “Cherry bark and almonds.” > > The way Niles says that just breaks my heart, every time. > > This is what I was going to say. > Yes, that’s a great moment. I haven’t seen an episode in ages, but I can picture his face as he says that line. Just amazing. Fine. For those of us who haven’t troubled to memorize the entire series, could you provide a little context? ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/35 "2008-04-18T02:26:12Z")
It’s when Daphne starts dating Donny, just as Niles’ divorce is about to be finalized. Donny Douglas: [smelling Daphne’s hair] That scent is wonderful, what is it? Niles: [turing away, quietly to himself] Cherry bark and almonds. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/36 "2008-04-18T03:31:08Z")
Nobody mentions the little greyhound , Marty, Fraiser watching “do you think he realizes?” “no” I also liked the english sex romp one where their at the ski lodge, and the room doors opening and closing. ---
**Author:** ![HongKongFooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@HongKongFooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HongKongFooey)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/37 "2008-04-18T11:22:54Z")
This one was posted in a thread about TV put-downs (I forget who it was, sorry). I had cut and pasted it onto my Facebook page cause it still cracks me up: Frasier: … I’ve decided it’s time to fight back. I was up to all hours last night crafting my response to those two idiots. I believe I have arrived at a masterful rebuttal. … Frasier and Niles cross to the table where quotations books are laid across the table along with Frasier’s speech. … Niles: I see your “Bartlett’s” is out. You’re not pulling any punches! Frasier: Hardly. I go in swinging with La Rochefoucauld: “If we had no faults of our own, we would not take so much pleasure in noticing those of others.” Niles: [boxing-match style] Ouch! Frasier: And when I’ve knocked them reeling, I go in with a jab of Dorothy Parker: “Wit has truth in it, wise-cracking is merely calisthenics with words.” Niles: Pow! Frasier: And when they’re bloody and against the ropes, I go in with the kill - [shadow-boxing] Twain, Wilde, Twain, Twain, Mencken! Niles: It’s not a fight, it’s an execution! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/38 "2008-04-18T12:19:16Z")
[QUOTE=Baldwin] Fine. For those of us who haven’t troubled to memorize the entire series, could you provide a little context? [/QUOTE] Niles divorce is final, and he’s finally free to pursue Daphne. He sees his divorce lawyer and Daphne (who had key testimony in the divorce) canoodling at one of the tables in the coffeeshop. It’s obvious they’re an item now, and Daphne is very happy. \*\* pepperlandgirl\*\* has the exact quotes…it’s a heartbreaking scene, as you see Niles turn away, crushed. Does anyone remember the episode where John C McGinley (Dr. Cox from _Scrubs_) plays a plumber? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/39 "2008-04-18T12:28:54Z")
[QUOTE=Shecky] Bart: “Guess who?!” Cecil: “Maris?” Well played. [/QUOTE] The subtle joke being that Maris is so thin her weight gets mistaken for that of a ten year old boy. ---
**Author:** ![DCTrekkie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dctrekkie/32/18862_2.png) [@DCTrekkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCTrekkie)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586/40 "2008-04-18T16:31:25Z")
[QUOTE=fessie] Or - the kitchen scene from Les Freres Heureux (butchered that French), where they buy that restaurant? He and Daphne are flinging eels around the room. Hysterical - I bought that season’s DVD for that scene alone. [/QUOTE] “Big blue flash… Cherries everywhere” 😃 [QUOTE=Liberal] “Frasier, there’s something I have to tell you. Dad wanted to, but I won the coin toss.” [/QUOTE] Is that from the episode with the gay station manager. My favourite bit in the whole series is when Niles and TSM (the station manager) go into the kitchen. Niles is upset because he thinks TSM is here for a date with Daphne and TSM thinks he’s on a date with Fraiser. TSM asks Niles if he has a problem with him dating Fraiser. Niles starts to reply, thinking he said Daphne, then trails off as he realises what TSM said. He gets this funny look on his face, asks TSM to repeat himself then starts smirking. TSM then goes off to speak to fraiser on the balcony and Niles drags Martin into the kitchen where you hear them both in hysterics. It doesn’t sound that funny the way I’ve written it but if you’ve seen it it’s hilarious, mainly becuse of the faces Niles pulls as he realises what’s going on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/niles-crane-appreciation-thread/445586.md?page=3)