# NIMBY fucking morons. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 1, 2019, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765 "2019-02-01T03:56:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/1 "2019-02-01T03:56:28Z")
There’s apparently a debate raging in my town at the moment about whether to allow a permit for a mobile (cell) phone tower erection. And it seems that the naysayers are a bunch of precious petals who should go stick their heads down a dunny. See, the proposal is for the towers to go BANG SMACK in the middle of a carpark. Behind a strip shopping centre. In town. And people think that having a tower is going to detract from the casual seaside ambience we all know and love?? Gimme a break. Oh, and these are the very same folk who jump on social media to whinge like cow-cockies when their mobile coverage goes down. First throw away your mobile phone, tablet and PC, and THEN you might be in a position to talk about destroying the ‘vibe’ of the town. Otherwise, just fuck off. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/2 "2019-02-01T04:05:08Z")
“Cow cockies”…plural of “a one-man dairy farmer”. Righty-O. Been here fourteen years, and Aussies are _still_ throwing new idioms at me… :mad: ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/3 "2019-02-01T04:13:31Z")
> [@galen\_ubal](#): > > “Cow cockies”…plural of “a one-man dairy farmer”. Righty-O. > Been here fourteen years, and Aussies are _still_ throwing new idioms at me… :mad: Cow-cockies are renowned for their propensity for whingeing. Like my neighbours. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/4 "2019-02-01T04:15:11Z")
> [@galen\_ubal](#): > > Been here fourteen years, and Aussies are _still_ throwing new idioms at me… :mad: You got ‘dunny’ though, so we might keep you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/5 "2019-02-01T04:45:18Z")
Hey, I can be a NIMBY when they try to build a stadium with PA and lights for night games in our residential neighborhood… But a cell tower? Not exactly an eyesore. I hope they’re not paranoid about lethal phone signals… Why not do what our church did? It’s an old gothic thing with a tower that’s the tallest structure, and when US Cellular wanted to put a tower on it, we prayerfully said unto them… BRIBE US! _[Narrator:_ And bribe they did. And verily was the church budget much healthier ever since\*.]\* ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/6 "2019-02-01T10:53:38Z")
Are they aware that there are numerous ways to camouflage cell sites? Especially if they’re not very tall, as I would expect with an installation at a strip mall. I’ve seen a variety of trees, flagpoles, sculptures, obelisks, windmills…all sorts of things. Plus, of course, the companies _do_ pay “bribes” (or at least rent) for the locations. One of my old jobs involved generating search rings for a cell company’s real estate group–identifying a general area for a site, so the agents could do property searches and negotiate with property owners. There were all sorts of stipulations that went into those contracts–camouflage/no camouflage, roof access (for rooftop sites), power and network infrastructure modifications, and (of course) rent. If a property owner demanded camouflage, they got less consideration on other elements. If they were too persnickety, they got nothing, because the search rings were usually pretty big, at least in flat terrain. If the town says, “No permit!”, the company might find a more bribeable property owner just outside the town limits, put a tower there, and crank up the power on the sector pointing toward the town. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/7 "2019-02-01T11:07:07Z")
Oh yeah, [camouflaging cell towers as trees](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/take-a-look-at-americas-least-convincing-cell-phone-tower-trees) is completely convincing, every time. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/8 "2019-02-01T12:45:17Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Oh yeah, [camouflaging cell towers as trees](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/take-a-look-at-americas-least-convincing-cell-phone-tower-trees) is completely convincing, every time. Yeah, we point these out when we go on long trips. The Harvard Lampoon guys unwittingly described these years before they actually existed in _Bored of the Rings_ when they talked about Trees with Oddly Symmetrical-Looking Branches. To be fair, there are other kinds of unconvincing disguised cell phone transmitters. Like the ones on chimneys, where the transmitters are painted with brick patterns, as if they’re high-tech chameleons trying to blend in [http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj10-Tcx5rgAhWDNd8KHXHWCxYQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.brixtonbuzz.com%2F2018%2F05%2Fpic-the-day-the-invisible-mobile-phone-masks-on-a-brixton-water-lane-rooftop%2F&psig=AOvVaw0DKN2LSUkfQPgzI1YKjCUK&ust=1549111373888917](http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj10-Tcx5rgAhWDNd8KHXHWCxYQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.brixtonbuzz.com%2F2018%2F05%2Fpic-the-day-the-invisible-mobile-phone-masks-on-a-brixton-water-lane-rooftop%2F&psig=AOvVaw0DKN2LSUkfQPgzI1YKjCUK&ust=1549111373888917) Or the ones attached to church steeples that they try to color the same as the stone: [http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwi7v\_WIyJrgAhWRPN8KHeNtARcQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.emfsa.co.za%2Fnews%2Fcell-tower-article-bobby-jordan-sunday-times%2F&psig=AOvVaw2nf3iZmPlxqIRvvplteBFF&ust=1549111465119452](http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwi7v_WIyJrgAhWRPN8KHeNtARcQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.emfsa.co.za%2Fnews%2Fcell-tower-article-bobby-jordan-sunday-times%2F&psig=AOvVaw2nf3iZmPlxqIRvvplteBFF&ust=1549111465119452) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/9 "2019-02-01T12:53:31Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Yeah, we point these out when we go on long trips. The Harvard Lampoon guys unwittingly described these years before they actually existed in _Bored of the Rings_ when they talked about Trees with Oddly Symmetrical-Looking Branches. > > To be fair, there are other kinds of unconvincing disguised cell phone transmitters. Like the ones on chimneys, where the transmitters are painted with brick patterns, as if they’re high-tech chameleons trying to blend in > > [Redirect Notice](http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj10-Tcx5rgAhWDNd8KHXHWCxYQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.brixtonbuzz.com%2F2018%2F05%2Fpic-the-day-the-invisible-mobile-phone-masks-on-a-brixton-water-lane-rooftop%2F&psig=AOvVaw0DKN2LSUkfQPgzI1YKjCUK&ust=1549111373888917) > > Or the ones attached to church steeples that they try to color the same as the stone: > > [Redirect Notice](http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwi7v_WIyJrgAhWRPN8KHeNtARcQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.emfsa.co.za%2Fnews%2Fcell-tower-article-bobby-jordan-sunday-times%2F&psig=AOvVaw2nf3iZmPlxqIRvvplteBFF&ust=1549111465119452) The second is far better than the pathetic first. A mix of good and bad attempts. [25 Cell Phone Towers Disguised to Look Like Something Else](https://twistedsifter.com/2012/08/examples-of-cell-phone-tower-disguises/) ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/10 "2019-02-01T13:53:03Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Oh yeah, [camouflaging cell towers as trees](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/take-a-look-at-americas-least-convincing-cell-phone-tower-trees) is completely convincing, every time. Some of those are quite nice, though. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/11 "2019-02-01T13:54:45Z")
Wait’ll the protestors find out that [5G will microwave their bodies](https://www.androidauthority.com/5g-dangers-895776/) and give them cancer, diabetes, rhinophyma and lost testicle syndrome. > [@kambuckta](#): > > …it seems that the naysayers are a bunch of precious petals who should go stick their heads down a dunny. > Oh, and these are the very same folk who jump on social media to whinge like cow-cockies when their mobile coverage goes down. It’s lines like these that greatly enhance my Dope experience. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/12 "2019-02-01T14:25:40Z")
A coworker a few months ago approached me at work (I’m an IT guy at a state government agency) saying that a neighbor had an internet device installed on the side of his house (she wasn’t sure what it was), and ever since she has had trouble sleeping at night due to headaches. She wanted my professional opinion about what kind of shielding she could buy to protect herself from the microwaves giving her trouble. I said there’s no way the device was powerful enough to have any effect on a person (through walls and over distance no less). I didn’t come right out and say she was a nut (though she has previously expressed her belief in alien conspiracies and healing crystals, to her credit she is often self-mocking of her own beliefs in casual conversation and knows her ideas are unpopular). But I did say there’s no way that device is actually doing anything to her. I tried to be respectful to her and not get personal in any way but she still briefly got angry and said I probably was gullible enough to believe that fluoride in drinking water isn’t harmful. My reply to her was that I am an IT professional and by the nature of my profession I have to have an understanding of and respect for science. If she wants advice regarding an issue that involves rejecting mainstream, factual science, she needs to seek help from someone who isn’t a technology professional. She understood and thanked me for my time (she’s wacky but not a jerk) but it reminded me that there are definitely people like that out there. If she had a cell tower within sight of her home she’d probably picket. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/13 "2019-02-01T15:35:40Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > There’s apparently a debate raging in my town at the moment about whether to allow a permit for a mobile (cell) phone tower erection. This thread is giving me a raging cell phone tower erection. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/14 "2019-02-01T15:38:21Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > This thread is giving me a raging cell phone tower erection. You better have a permit for that erection! ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/15 "2019-02-01T15:51:01Z")
Let us know in four hours. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/16 "2019-02-01T16:22:28Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > You better have a permit for that erection! A requirement for a permit sounds like government [del]reacharound[/del] overreach. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/17 "2019-02-01T16:45:08Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Oh yeah, [camouflaging cell towers as trees](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/take-a-look-at-americas-least-convincing-cell-phone-tower-trees) is completely convincing, every time. There’s one on my way to New Hampshire - twice as tall as the surrounding forest, and the “branches” on its entire length are exactly the same. So it basically looks like a giant bottle brush. In Vermont there is a lot of debate about putting cell towers on ridgelines, where they need to go to work best. However, they can’t seem to put gigantic wind towers on ridgelines fast enough, so I don’t have a whole lot of respect for the anti-cell tower people. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/18 "2019-02-01T18:00:08Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > There’s one on my way to New Hampshire - twice as tall as the surrounding forest, and the “branches” on its entire length are exactly the same. So it basically looks like a giant bottle brush. There are a couple of places along Spirit Lake Highway (to the Mt. St. Helens area) where the regrowth consists of hillsides of disturbingly uniform spruce-looking things with that bottle brush look. Not huge, though. Probably a Weyerhaeuser replant, because it is hard to imagine nature doing anything that consistent. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/19 "2019-02-01T18:43:50Z")
There are a few Bottle Brush Trees on the Mass Pike, too. ---
**Author:** ![Kyrie\_Eleison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kyrie_eleison/32/7682_2.png) [@Kyrie\_Eleison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyrie_Eleison)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2019, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765/20 "2019-02-01T18:45:13Z")
I sympathize with the OP. My small, hilly town had lousy cell coverage for a long time, and everyone was pretty unified in agreeing that something needed to be done. So the phone company agreed to put up a nice, tall tower, but since it was going to take some time to situate it and clear the bureaucratic hurdles, they also agreed to temporarily install a transceiver on the church steeple in the meantime. Big mistake. As soon as it went live, 75% of the town had great coverage, and decided the other 25% could go fuck themselves. They didn’t really need the tall, ugly tower after all. The town selectmen voted it down, and as a result, I had unreliable service for years until an even bigger and uglier tower was installed the next town over. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nimby-fucking-morons/828765.md?page=2)