# Ninjas vs. Pirates
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ninjas-vs-pirates/263319
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 6, 2004, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ninjas-vs-pirates/263319 "2004-09-06T12:35:38Z")
**Posts on this page:** 9
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2004, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ninjas-vs-pirates/263319/21 "2004-09-07T02:12:10Z")
> [@Polycarp](#):
>
> Before or after paresis?
Both- which may (in part) explain his failure.
---
### Author:  [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2004, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ninjas-vs-pirates/263319/22 "2004-09-07T02:34:28Z")
> [@JThunder](#):
>
> Okay, how about a five-way brawl?
>
> Ninjas vs. Pirates vs. Vikings vs. Astronauts vs. Cavemen. Who wins?
You forgot Cowboys, Zombies and Evil Clowns.
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### Author:  [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2004, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ninjas-vs-pirates/263319/23 "2004-09-07T02:40:31Z")
The large-breasted nymphets from Mars. You _can’t_ forget them, either.
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### Author:  [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2004, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ninjas-vs-pirates/263319/24 "2004-09-07T03:34:47Z")
Evil clowns? What the heck would they do? Climb out of a tiny car? Inflate a balloon? Seltzer everyone to death?
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### Author:  [@Ezekiel25\_17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ezekiel25_17)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2004, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ninjas-vs-pirates/263319/25 "2004-09-07T05:35:43Z")
> [@JThunder](#):
>
> Evil clowns? What the heck would they do? Climb out of a tiny car? Inflate a balloon? Seltzer everyone to death?
You forget yourself my friend, said seltzer would decimate the large breasted nymphs from mars, as they are highly alergic to tiny bubbles.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2004, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ninjas-vs-pirates/263319/26 "2004-09-07T05:59:49Z")
> [@JThunder](#):
>
> Evil clowns? What the heck would they do? Climb out of a tiny car? Inflate a balloon? Seltzer everyone to death?
Sure, you laugh now, but when they show up, [you’ll be lucky if you only get the seltzer water.](http://www.monstrula.de/filme/killerklowns/still15.jpg)
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### Author:  [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2004, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ninjas-vs-pirates/263319/27 "2004-09-07T12:08:26Z")
> [@Polycarp](#):
>
> On the other hand, the idea of a baseball team called the Ninjas is not a bad one – anything would be better than the Hiroshima Carp!
You take that back about the Carp! I’ll have you know they actually managed to win a couple of games recently!
Anyway, the Nippon Ham Fighters have a worse name and a stupider mascot – “Fighty”, who is not a ham or even a pig but rather some sort of mutant pink bird.
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### Author:  [@noname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noname)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2004, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ninjas-vs-pirates/263319/28 "2004-09-07T13:11:49Z")
> [@Polycarp](#):
>
> Let me ask, was there a popular movie called ‘Ninjas of the Caribbean’? 😉
Of couse not, the Ninjas are too stealthy to be in a popular movie. Against the Ninja code, you see.
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### Author:  [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2004, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ninjas-vs-pirates/263319/29 "2004-09-07T17:06:21Z")
> [@Road Rash](#):
>
> Every time I have seen ninjas, on TV and movie screen. They hop around, do flips, swing their swords and nun-chuchs around, and put on a grandstand, until they get their collective asses kicked by one or two heroes. Instead of using their superior numbers to dogpile an enemy, they circle and flip around, while one or two actually attempt anything.
>
> Kind of like the N.B.A.
Hey better than the pirates getting their asses handed to them by a bunch of children in their bedclothes and a preteen in green tights!
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