# No Cheese - Goddammit, I said NO CHEESE!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 4, 2006, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323 "2006-01-04T01:40:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/21 "2006-01-04T05:05:29Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > Well, for one thing, they charge you extra for the cheese. And what if it’s not cheese they screw up, but mayo? You ever try getting mayo off a sandwich when you didn’t want it? If it’s mayo that’s different but it wasn’t mayo, it was cheese and cheese is easy to remove. I’m also pretty sure they don’t charge extra for it at Subway but maybe I’m wrong about that. > [@](#): > > It ain’t happening. I don’t expect Spago cuisine at these places, but I don’t think it’s asking too much to follow really simple directions. Fair or not, I’ve just learned not to expect it. I also know that they don’t care if you’re unhappy about it. They get paid the same crap wage whether you’re happy or not. Maybe that’s not fair to the customer but that’s the way it is. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just saying it’s not really worth getting outraged about. You get crappy service at cheapo fast food joints. That’s just life. Getting upset about it is like getting upset at the rain. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/22 "2006-01-04T05:19:44Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I also know that they don’t care if you’re unhappy about it. They get paid the same crap wage whether you’re happy or not. Depends who you mean by “they”. The kid at the prep counter? No, most of the time she or she isn’t going to care much–though, as in all things, there are exceptions. I’ve met a few who were actually concerned about doing things right. But, for the most part, you’re right, the counterpeople _don’t_ care. But management is a different story. Having working in this capacity in my distant past, I can tell you that management absolutely does care if you are happy or not. Their business depends on it, and they know it. But, if nobody complains, then the crappy sandwich making continues and gets worse and worse until one day you’re picking rat hairs out of your teeth. Nobody wants that. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/23 "2006-01-04T05:26:39Z")
I’ve been a fast food manager. I didn’t care. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/24 "2006-01-04T05:28:59Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I’ve been a fast food manager. I didn’t care. Actually, I was an _assistant_ manager. Does that count? ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/25 "2006-01-04T05:50:11Z")
I’m guessing you got out of the business, **Diogenes**. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/26 "2006-01-04T05:52:37Z")
> [@Brainiac4](#): > > I’m guessing you got out of the business, **Diogenes**. As quickly as possible. I’m sure I’m a bad example. I was an apathetic slacker even by fast food standards. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/27 "2006-01-04T08:13:07Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I’ve been a fast food manager. I didn’t care. I vote **DtC** for most refreshingly honest poster ever. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/28 "2006-01-04T08:17:44Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I’ve been a fast food manager. I didn’t care. Wait! Were you the night manager at BK in Sonora, CA? Did I work for you? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Obsidian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/51bf81/32.png) [@Obsidian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obsidian)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/29 "2006-01-04T09:30:52Z")
Heh. Try getting a sandwich without tomatoes. I HATE tomatoes, and their little seeds and juice get everywhere, and it just ruins the sandwich for me. People just can’t get it through their heads that I don’t want any tomatoes on it. I simply can’t eat at Subway/Quiznos/Togos/etc. anymore. It’s too much of a battle. I’ve given up. My old boss once told me about a place that had a great veggie pizza with bacon on it. He once got into an argument with the order person about not wanting bacon. The order person gives him a puzzled look and says. “Are you sure you don’t want the bacon? It doesn’t cost extra.” “No thank you.” “But the bacon is free!” The kid kept arguing with my boss, apparently unable to comprehend that someone would turn down free bacon. He wouldn’t let it go until my boss said that he was a vegitarian for religious reasons and no amount of persuasion was ever going to convince him to consume a pork product. (My boss told me he half expected the kid to come back with, "It’s not pork, it’s bacon) ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/30 "2006-01-04T11:05:46Z")
> [@photopat](#): > > **Broomstick** , why do you hate American cheese? 😉 Actually, I LOVE American cheese. I eat it every day for breakfast. It’s just that I do NOT like cheese + meat combos. I either eat meat… or I eat cheese. But I do not sully the experience of one by corrupting it with the other. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/31 "2006-01-04T11:13:09Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > It’s just that I do NOT like cheese + meat combos. I either eat meat… or I eat cheese. But I do not sully the experience of one by corrupting it with the other. Snobby bigot. Go hang out on the Food Network with your Ashton & Emeril communist buddies. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/32 "2006-01-04T11:14:25Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Is there some reason you can’t just peel the cheese off? Life is to short to martyr yourself over a fast food order. It’s a low paying job with no real incentive to give a shit. You get what you pay for. Actually, my big fear is that they’ll put unwanted tomato on it. You can get tomato juice off the rest of the sandwhich simply by picking the slices off. And a miniscule amount of tomato juice can send me to the hospital. Which is why I go to places like Subway - _in theory_ you get what you ask for and you DON’T get what you don’t want, thereby allowing me to eat without fear of sudden death. If they can’t listen about the cheese, are they going to listen about the really important stuff down among the vegees? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/33 "2006-01-04T11:15:27Z")
:smack: You **can’t** get tomato juice off the rest of the sandwhich simply … More caffeine. Need more caffeine this morning before posting… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/34 "2006-01-04T13:55:25Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > As quickly as possible. I’m sure I’m a bad example. I was an apathetic slacker even by fast food standards. Hey, I was an asst mgr too and got fired from a place that rhymes with Taco Dell–for having a wrinkled uniform. I was so bummed. :rolleyes: But no cheese?? I…I…don’t understand. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/35 "2006-01-04T14:01:12Z")
[Emperor Kuzco] Cheese me no likee! [/Emperor Kuzco] ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/36 "2006-01-04T15:04:29Z")
> [@Obsidian](#): > > The kid kept arguing with my boss, apparently unable to comprehend that someone would turn down free bacon. I think I’d have to side with the kid on this one. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/37 "2006-01-04T15:26:56Z")
You posted my rant! With increasing frequency, I’m finding it difficult to just orderr a plain hamburger. Used to be I could say “plain”, and it could come plain - meat and bun, that’s all. Now I have to say something like: “A hamburger, plain, nothing on it, no cheese, no nothing.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, just meat and bun.” “Don’t want no tomatos or lettuce?” “No. Plain.” “No pickles or onions?” “No. Plain. Nothing on it.” “No ketchup or mustard?” “No, I said plain!” “But you still want cheese on it, right?” “No, I said NO CHEESE. Plain.” “Are you sure?” Even after exchanges like this, one in three or four times the burger will arrive with cheese. Seriously, I’m tempted to post about this in GQ, because it seems like a recent phenomenon. Ten years ago, every fast food counter worker and waitperson understood what “plain” meant. Today, it’s not the case. I’ve had a few McDonalds managers have told me that “plain” now means “everything but cheese.” Why the change? Why don’t counterpeople and waitpeople know what “plain” means anymore? ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/38 "2006-01-04T15:31:36Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Is there some reason three different people apparently cannot understand the simple phrase “no cheese”? What does one’s level of pay have to do with the ability to comprehend one-syllable words in English? Now, I’m not defending the sandwich artist’s forcing of cheese onto **Broomstick**. But I do need to point out that it is not as simple as you represent. For you, and **Broomstick** , and all of us non-sandwich-artists, ordering a sub is a once-in-while thing. For those people behind the counter, they make thousands a day. It is a routine. They have their brains switched off. That’s why they can do it so quickly: beacause they can do it largely without thinking about it. The vast majority of people want cheese on their sub, so that is incorporated into their routine as “add cheese.” A sandwich without cheese is an interruption in their automatic routine, something which throws off their sandwich artistry, if only briefly. Surely some of you have a routine task that you do so often that if some small aspect of it changes, it throws you off? Absolutely, complain when they get it wrong. But please try to be patient, and repeat your request FIRMLY but CALMLY as frequently as is necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/39 "2006-01-04T15:39:18Z")
> [@Obsidian](#): > > (… "It’s not pork, it’s bacon) Off topic but prompted by this. When my son was younger he would not eat pork meats if they were called by their normal names, like ham or bacon. He would, however, eat “pig”. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323/40 "2006-01-04T15:54:17Z")
cowgirl, I disagree. You should have to state your preference for or against cheese exactly once during the sandwich making process. One person should be responsible for adding cheese, they should ask you your preference when they are ready to listen and apply the choice to the sandwich. At most, the next person on the line should ask if the sandwich is correct so far. Now, rattling off “six-inch wheat turkey no cheese lettuce spinach cucumber black olives mayo” all at once is not generally going to work for a sandwich drone. However, when you are following their process, step by step, one item at a time, there is no excuse for having to repeat yourself over and over. Subway’s business model is custom sandwiches, they must listen when putting one together. Their rote activity should be listening and putting on what is asked, not throwing together assumed toppings. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-cheese-goddammit-i-said-no-cheese/338323.md?page=3)