Pregnant twice on the pill and once after a tubal ligation while still on the pill.*
Sex is never risk free. That said, I’m always amused by the idea that anyone would get pregnant to snag a man. Like I want to spend the next 20 years of my life parenting for the child support. There’s easier ways to make money, thanks.
*antibiotics, who the hell knows, must have ovulated just before the ligation + who the hell knows
Or, the guy could just insist on doing it in the butt.
With typical use, though, as you noted. So any given person can decrease the odds quite a bit by doing better than typical. Also, it looks like the figure you gave was for a female condom, whereas a male condom’s typical use failure rate is only 15%.
So typical use of a male condom knocks off 6% of the risk vs. a female condom. Perfect use of a male condom knocks off an additional 13%, to get down to 2% yearly.
2% perfect use of a condom on a male X 8% for typical use of the pill gives us .16% per year. With perfect use of the condom and the pill, we get… what, .006%? But since this is from the male perspective, not from the perspective of a couple, I guess we can’t do that.
I think it should be in the question, but carefully considered. Women risk the physical repercussions of becoming pregnant plus the financial repercussions of either abortion or childbirth, plus the financial repercussions of parenthood. Men risk the financial repercussions of parenthood. (I don’t recall seeing any court orders for men to pay any part of childbirth expenses. I could be wrong.)
If you use condoms correctly AND you only have sex with women you know and trust AND only have sex with that person once you have discussed what happens if she becomes pregnant AND only if her intentions match your desires, then it’s not a hugely risky venture. If not, it is.
And this is ignoring the STD risks, which are there, though lessened significantly by condom use.
Use condoms. Discuss birth control and intentions if a pregnancy results. Don’t get naked with anyone you can’t talk to and don’t trust.
Men are not ATMs for child support. Well, not just ATMs.
I had to look a couple of times to make sure that wasn’t MY name on that post. Got pregnant three times in two years, once on the pill, once using foam and condoms together, and once with an IUD. Two miscarriages and one full term pregnancy.
Guys should just make a deposit or two at a sperm bank and get a snip, especially if they’re worried about some woman trying to fleece them. And, for the record, guys, the marital assets don’t belong to just you. She’s almost always contributed to building up the assets as well, so it’s only fair that she gets her fair share. Alimony is almost never awarded any more, and in the rare cases when it is awarded, it’s usually limited to a few years. In Texas, it’s almost always limited to three years, and there’s a limit as to how much the payment can be, too.
I don’t know what’s dumber, someone who spends 3 months’ salary on a ring, or someone who doesn’t have sex with their fiancee before marriage.
Although I suppose if someone did both they would take the cake.
Personally, I think it’s a bad idea to not have premarital sex.
Sex is an important part of a relationship. It’s going to be a big problem if a couple finds out there not sexually compatible after they’ve made the commitment of marriage.
I can understand somebody not wanting to have casual sex (although I personally have never had a problem with it). But it seems strange to me that somebody could feel they loved another person enough to marry them but could be unsure if they loved them enough to have sex with them. Sex, to me, should be a step along the path to marriage, not vice versa.
And finally, regardless of what a person’s moral beliefs are, people are still physical beings as well. Sexual desire can warp a person’s perceptions. Somebody could end up jumping into a marriage in the belief that they are in love and then realize a month later that they were just really horny. I think it’s better to assuage the sexual desire and make sure that there’s a deeper basis to the relationship beyond it.
Yeah, but look how that turned out for you. . .
In the interest of full disclosure- I’m friends with him and his wife (a girl who was a local where he was stationed.)
I planned to hit it and quit.
It didn’t work out that way…
No shit! The idea that there are a ton of opportunistic women out there trying to “trap” any halfway ok dude with a decent job into impregnating them is laughable. Even if she gets knocked up and this guy is on the line for child support for 18 years, that’s nothing compared to what she’s getting into.
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Nine months of pregnancy, followed by labor and delivery of a baby that she gets to be a single mom to. Oooh, what a jackpot! Guys have the option of being deadbeat dads who pay the tab and do nothing else. Moms don’t typically walk away from their children at the same rate.
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Again, that’s a big bill for dad and EVERYTHING ELSE the child ever needs for mom. And you think women want this? I assure you, I’ve never known anyone to get in that position on purpose.
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It’s laughable that a significant number of egomaniacs are convinced that women are lining up to trap them into sperm donation. Honestly, it would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetically sad.
But if you’re from bumfuckville nowhere and you can get some stupid 18 year old E1 to knock you up and marry you, to “do the right thing” then you’re way better off than how you were.
Or if she’s the kind of girl who thinks “If I get pregnant, then he’ll love me!”
There is a middle ground between screwing anything that moves and waiting until engagement. I’m from way before the friends with benefits generation, but getting engaged without sex sounds pretty dumb. (Ditto for getting engaged and not understanding views of money.)
There are other ways also, like IUDs. We never had any problems, and my wife got pregnant the very first time we tried to have a kid, so it was not from lack of fertility.
Our daughters got taught all about birth control, and haven’t had any issues either.
Actually, if I were empress of the universe I would actually require positive birth control on all females as soon as they hit menarch, mandatory sex ed for both sexes, and a limited term trial marriage of 1 year or 5 year that automatically dissolves at the end of term, and you have to do at least the 1 year trial marriage before any permanent marriage, or opt for a reproductive marriage contract, you contract for a kid, and the marriage lasts from whenever contracted until the kid turns 18. Religious weddings have no legal standings. You would also need to take and pass a child parenting course before being able to go off mandatory birth control. There would be no religious exceptions. No permanent marriage prior to the age of 25.
I have seen more people screwed up by getting saddled with kids too young, kids they had no idea on how to raise, and marriages that just plain sucked but they were locked into them because their religion refused to allow divorce.
When I am empress of the universe, all males will give a couple of sperm samples, which will be split into several deposits in sperm banks scattered throughout the area. Then the boys get a vasectomy. NO exceptions. Withdrawals can be made only if both the grown up man and his grown up woman friend come by, in person, with proof that both are in reasonably good health, are reasonably solvent, and capable of taking care of themselves, so maybe they can be entrusted with a baby human. Yes, much signing of paperwork will occur, stating that both parents WANT this pregnancy, that both are willing to make a commitment to raising this child, and that both understand what this means. No more kids raising kids. No more men claiming that women trapped them into paying child support. Almost all abortions are eliminated. Quite a lot of welfare and food stamps would be eliminated too. In the old days, if people had kids that they couldn’t feed, then the people and their kids starved.
Why a condom would be only 85% safe if you use it properly ?
Forced surgery isn’t very ethical. How would you feel about the forced surgical sterilization of women? Or is it only males who have no rights over their body? And do you realize that your position massively undercuts the central reason for women having a right to abortion and birth control, namely that people have the right to control their own bodies?
To me your OP is motivated by fear, which will cause one to miss out on exploring sexuality and possibly the wonders of having a child. Fear is no way to live one’s life, especially when it gets int he way of true closeness. Luckily the power of Love and passion in the moment can overcome this block.
Usually looking back in life a person’s greatest regrets is what they had a chance but did not do. Sex is very personal, and different in meaning to each person and something that has to be experienced by the person to really know what its like.
Even though usually a goal of sex in a early relationship is to avoid pregnancy, having a child is also unique to the person and can also be a wonderful experience, and again one that may be regretted if one had a opportunity and didn’t take it.
85% is “typical use”, not perfect use. There is a lot of crappy condom use out there.
ETA - I don’t know what the hell they teach them in school these days, so sometime next week I’m trapping my 16 year old niece in the car with me and having a serious talk about contraception. I am bringing condoms and bananas. I may never look her in the eye again, but damn it she’ll have the information.