# No, I am NOT a Yankee ya inbred, grit-eatin' Putz! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 18, 2001, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346 "2001-04-18T00:08:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![blandart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@blandart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blandart)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/81 "2001-04-23T03:50:49Z")
Wabbit, the enjoyment of eating grits involves a function of intelligence, the relative level of which you may mark on any wacky scale you devise. However, by the time I was awarded a degree from the quaint university in the pleasant town of Athens, GA, I had learned that shuggah is spelled sugar–not suger. That has been an asset, since I majored in journalism and English. So, dear Yankee friend, when grits were unknown in New York or Chicago or Anchorage, I ate hashbrown potatoes with eggs and sausage without complaint or affront to my hosts–as my Southern mama taught me. Afterthought: Lost WHAT War? That was just a skirmish, idjit. ---
**Author:** ![Sweet\_Walter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7cd45c/32.png) [@Sweet\_Walter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Walter)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/82 "2001-04-24T12:52:02Z")
To everyone who is moanin’ and groanin’ about where you moved to. That yellow stripe down the middle of the road will take you right back to where you came from. Your Mama will let you put what ever you want on your grits. They are waitin’ for you. Go on, Git. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/83 "2001-04-24T17:09:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ogre \* > \*\*As a True Suhthunuh ™, let me just say that I have seriously heard someone opine that anyone from any further north than Birmingham or from any further South than Jacksonville is a Yankee. > > That, you will notice, includes you Virginnyans. Damn Yankees. > > 🙂 \*\* Careful there Ogre…just remember who does the heavy lifting. Without us Washington DC would spill directly on the deep south. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/84 "2001-04-24T18:01:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Ogre \* > > \*\*As a True Suhthunuh ™, let me just say that I have seriously heard someone opine that anyone from any further north than Birmingham or from any further South than Jacksonville is a Yankee. > > > > That, you will notice, includes you Virginnyans. Damn Yankees. > > > > 🙂 \*\* > > Careful there Ogre…just remember who does the heavy lifting. Without us Washington DC would spill directly on the deep south. \*\* Hey, you guys dropped the ball once already. I seem to recall that DC spilled directly on the Deep South in the Great Unpleasantness. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/85 "2001-04-24T20:20:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max the Immortal \* > \*\*Bah! Up here in Canada, the word “yankee” (or “yank”) applies to all americans. At least, it did the last time I checked. Yes, even texans qualify as yankees as far as I’m concerned. So there, ya yankee bastards! 😃 \*\* That’s still true. To me, Texans are Yankees. Wyomans (Wyomingans?) are Yankees. Californians are Yankees. Hawaiians, Alabamans, Floridians, Ohioans, all Yankees. ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/86 "2001-04-24T20:58:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > To me, Texans are Yankees. Wyomans (Wyomingans?) are Yankees. Californians are Yankees. Hawaiians, Alabamans, Floridians, Ohioans, all Yankees. Fine by me. Just avoid saying so to a besotted good-ol’-boy working on his seventh Lone Star. ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/87 "2001-04-24T22:27:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Punoqllads \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > > To me, Texans are Yankees. Wyomans (Wyomingans?) are Yankees. Californians are Yankees. Hawaiians, Alabamans, Floridians, Ohioans, all Yankees. > > Fine by me. Just avoid saying so to a besotted good-ol’-boy working on his seventh Lone Star. \*\* This is very wise advice. Anybody who can actually drink 7 bottles of what is essentially diluted horse piss is definitely someone to avoid… 😉 Of course, in the interests of fairness, Coors (the closest thing to a ‘Western’ beer) and Budweiser aren’t any better. One bottle of Turbo Dog (I mean Dawg) is worth 3 cases of that other stuff! Damn, Pun, I think we’re actually agreeing on something here! Want to head over to Jerusalem with me and see if we can’t get those nitwits over there to ‘git along’? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lyllyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/88 "2001-04-25T04:24:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > Ah, Lyllyan. I note from your profile that you reside in Atlanta, Georgia. Obviously, the charcoal residue from Sherman’s march has infiltrated the water table, resulting in your sadly misinformed opinions. It also probably explains why Altanta can’t get enough water to meet its needs, and may have something to do with the interminable road construction and godawful traffic in your fair city. Sauron, Sauron :::shaking head:::: How mis-informed. We have plenty of water. We just tell the Yankees that there is a shortage to piss them off. As to the traffic, well sir,before the “2nd Invasion”, there was no traffic to speak of. And “shoepeg corn”, pppffftt…down here we feed that to the pigs. Humans eat “Silver Queen”. But, I will forgive your ignorance this time. Momma always said we had to be extra nice to those poor people from Alabama. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/89 "2001-04-25T13:02:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lyllyan \* > Sauron, Sauron :::shaking head:::: > > How mis-informed. We have plenty of water. We just tell the Yankees that there is a shortage to piss them off. As to the traffic, well sir,before the “2nd Invasion”, there was no traffic to speak of. And “shoepeg corn”, pppffftt…down here we feed that to the pigs. Humans eat “Silver Queen”. But, I will forgive your ignorance this time. Momma always said we had to be extra nice to those poor people from Alabama. You have plenty of water because you keep stealing ours, you Georgia goon. What, Georgia water isn’t good enough for you? You are exactly right, though – Silver Queen is a feast for the gods. Actually, there aren’t too many varieties of corn that I’d turn down if offered. Along with fried okra, mashed potatoes, blackeyed peas, green beans, some corn bread and a good Vidalia onion (one of the few decent things to come out of Georgia). Man, that’s a supper to make you slap your pig and call it Elvis. Your momma wanted you to be nice to people from Alabama because she knew you’d be working for them one day. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lyllyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/90 "2001-04-25T13:48:43Z")
Nothing is better than fresh blakeyed peas and Vidalia onions. And okra, have you ever picked that stuff? It will eat you up. And Me, working for someone in Alabama, in your dreams Sauron. OK, one more thing… Q: Why did G\_d create Alabama? A: So the people in Mississippi wouldn’t feel so stupid! Your goon-ess, 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/91 "2001-04-25T14:48:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lyllyan \* > **As a True Southerner and gently bred lady…** I guess them thar Johnny Rebs are kinder to their wimmens than they is to their mules. ---
**Author:** ![Lyllyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/92 "2001-04-25T15:27:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rysdad \* > \*\*I guess them thar Johnny Rebs are kinder to their wimmens than they is to their mules. \*\* They have to be. It is harder to have sex with a mule. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/93 "2001-04-25T15:43:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lyllyan \* > > And Me, working for someone in Alabama, in your dreams Sauron. > > OK, one more thing… > > Q: Why did G\_d create Alabama? > A: So the people in Mississippi wouldn’t feel so stupid! Perhaps I haven’t properly introduced myself. I am the Supreme Overlord of Earth. EVERYONE works for me. You know, we get upset about the people who move from Georgia to Alabama. It lowers the average IQ in both states. Play your cards right, Lyllyan, and I’ll arrange a transfer for you to God’s Country. Continue to show a lack of proper respect, though, and I’ll assign you to road construction on I-85 permanently. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/94 "2001-04-25T16:33:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by racinchikki \* > \*_I’m a Yankee_. > > I love grits. I put salt & butter and occasionally maple syrup on 'em. > > I say y’all, which doesn’t phase the Southerners but confuses the HELL out of my fellow Yankees. > > And as far as rednecks go… y’all got your bubbas, we got our jethros. They’re just as bad. As a matter of fact the jethros can be worse. > > > [@](#): > > > > And there’s more to the fuckin’ South than grits, mourners of the Late Unpleasantness, and sweet tea. \*\*There’s tractor pulls, wrasslin’, trailer parks, Dale Earnhardt shrines… hmmm… maybe I should have stopped while I was fuckin’ ahead. \*\* > > Holy shit, it sounds like my hometown!!! > \*\* I’m in south-central Pennsylvania, and everything **racinchikki** said applies to my neck of the woods too. Except for the maple syrup on grits thing. That’s just sick. 😃 James Carville was right about Pennsylvania: you have Philadelphia in the east, Pittsburgh in the west, and Alabama in the middle. Yer pal, Zappo ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/95 "2001-04-25T17:16:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zappo \* > James Carville was right about Pennsylvania: you have Philadelphia in the east, Pittsburgh in the west, and Alabama in the middle. You say that like it’s a _bad_ thing. ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/96 "2001-04-25T18:09:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Zappo \* > > James Carville was right about Pennsylvania: you have Philadelphia in the east, Pittsburgh in the west, and Alabama in the middle. > > You say that like it’s a _bad_ thing. \*\* Hell no, **Sauron** , it ain’t a bad thing most of the time. I like grits and the people around here are pretty nice. It’s just funny when you see pickup trucks whose paint is barely visible under the rebel flags and NASCAR stickers parked outside the opera and jethros who’ve never been south of Gettysburg strolling around in cowboy hats and fringed vests like they’re Travis Tritt or something. Yer pal, Zappo ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346/97 "2001-04-25T22:01:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zappo \* > > It’s just funny when you see pickup trucks whose paint is barely visible under the rebel flags and NASCAR stickers parked outside the opera … Just to dispel another “Southern” myth – I’m a born-and-bred Southerner who loathes NASCAR. It’s right up there with grits and tomatoes on my all-time hate list. I even coined my own meaning for the NASCAR acronym: Not All Southerners Care About Racing. Many people I know swear I’m a transplant from Vermont or someplace. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-am-not-a-yankee-ya-inbred-grit-eatin-putz/62346.md?page=4)