Well you seem to have got your balls in an uproar doncha?
Sounds like an uncharitable description of the broad, subservient smile I see coming from many native Asians in service positions.
They guy was probably just trying to be polite!
-FrL-
If the OP had never gotten his knife and fork, I’d be down with telling him that not tipping was cool. But the fact that he eventually got them means that the waiter was just being an ass, or didn’t know enough about his own restaurant to properly serve a customer.
Either way, tipping was out of the line. Tips given to bad servers just emphasize the idea that the money is required, rather than a benny given to recognize someone who’s good at their job but is paid substandard wages.
(coming from a former waiter, bartender and sous-chef)
Uh, that would be me, if I ever went to a restaurant that only had chopsticks.
At various times people have tried to teach me to use chopsticks many times during my life, without success. I just can’t get the hang of them.
It’s actually pretty embarrassing, because my wife is American-born Chinese, and when dining with her family, they always use chopsticks.
Ed
Or somebody went next door to get the OP his silverware. Who knows? It’s a very short OP.
-FrL-
I am a regular at a “very” asian place here in Edmonton. (I am a typical Alberta Caucasion white dude)… I can say “hello, how are you and thank you, and good bye” in Cantonese" There my language ability ends.
BUT! - Their kitchen is fine indeed… the food is authentic, seasonal, and regional… You want pig kidneys? Sure… mature, baby or fetal? (not a thing I order reguralary, but the menu is COMPLETE!)
When I show up on my own, I get the chinese menu, a tea pot and a small bowl and chop sticks. Even though I am a chi chi low fun, they know when I pour the tea I am ready to order.
If I show up with another western person, I get the above with a “specialty dish yum yum special menu” in English, which is their translated chinese menu.
Most western (caucasian) people get their “Sweet and sour chicken ball/ pork fried rice” western menu as they get seated, and no tea, and no chop sticks.
the food is designed to be eaten with chop[ sticks… — turn it around… try and think of eating a BBQ prime ribe with chop sticks… it just don’t work.
One thing westerners forget/overlook is that the tiny bowl you eat out of is a utensil as well… if you want food on a plate, get a knife and fork. If you want a combination of flavour, aroma, lift the bowl to your face…
rant much// i do
sorry
FML
Perhaps. I don’t know, I’ve never been to an American restaurant, though.
A dubious line of reasoning, at best. Do you require continual tipping in order to do your job correctly, too?
It’s been a long while since I lived in the UK (20 yrs! Good grief I’m old!) but when I was there I was a barmaid, tips were few and far between and when you got one it was like winning lotto and I was far from being a bad barmaid. I worked in a very small but very loyal pub in Maida Vale (London) when I left (to come back to New Zealand) they had a ‘whip round’ and presented me with an envelope that had a large amount of cash in it. I had probably had one or two tips in the almost two years I had worked there but they showed their appreciation when I left (and yes they were wealthy and not always on the right side of the law, they appreciated loyalty and an ability to not notice things). They all knew I had bugger all money (10 pound a session, back in the session days was not a great way to sustain a trip through South East Asia) and I had made really good friends with all the regulars.
In New Zealand unfortunately tipping is becoming more common but it is still NEVER expected and service people certainly do not rely on tips for their income, they are just a bonus. Tips are just that, a way of saying that the person serving you did a great job.
At high end resturants in NZ tips are probably common but I know that unless the service is awesome I don’t tip and neither do most Kiwis. I tip the pizza guy if the weather is really shitty.
To me the American system is fucked up, the employer should be paying the wages not the customer. It’s a good thing I have never been to the US because it would irritate me no end if I was expected to pay someones wage bill for them.
Tips are for service that is above and beyond…not for doing the job your employer should pay you a decent wage for.
Now onto something else but still related.
I’ve holidayed? in the USA many times and no matter where I’ve eaten the service has been A1.
Friendly greetings, topped up drinks and excellent grub and service, I always tip and tip handsomely.
In the UK there are far to many restaurants/waiters that seem to think they are doing you a favour by serving you when in fact it’s you who are doing them a favour by choosing their particular eatery.
It has to be said that most if not all Indian restaurants treat you as a valued customer
They stuck to chopsticks so you can deal with the flies buzzing around you. Haven’t you seen them catch flies with chopsticks in the movies.
What does that even mean? “Waiters that seem to think they are doing you are favour” does that mean waiters who expect a please and a thank you are acting high and mighty? That would mean they are people who expect a level of civility.
What is it with people who seem to think that because you pay for something your responsibility ends there? You are still still a member of a community! The guy who empties your rubbish bin should get the same level of politeness as the guy who is getting you your divorce, same as the guy who brings you your coffee, same as the guy who diagnoses your heart condition.
For fucks sake none of you are frigging royalty! Every single person you interact with is a person who deserves politeness!
Because you have the money to pay a waiter does not mean he needs to lick your arse. You are both people who should show one another respect. The waiter needs to make your experince enjoyable, they don’t have to be your doormat.
Just for the record I am not a waiter/ress, I’m just someone who doesn’t think manners only work when you pay for them.
Who the fuck is asking the waiter to lick my arse ?
FWIW because I’m the paying customer I deserve to be treated with a certain amount of civility, in return I’ll do the same.
Treat me like a twat and the same applies.
And YES we are doing them a favour by eating there, without us they’d be out of collar
Agreed.
I don’t mind optional tipping, but the idea of tipping even when you’ve had shitty service - as suggested in this thread - is fucking weird. Sure, I subscribe to the “When in Rome” principle, and if I were in the US, I’d probably do it myself. But it’d grate.
But based only on your OP you didn’t treat the waiter with civility. If you had said “Please can I have a knife and fork. I can’t work chopsticks” BIG CHEESEY SMILE. You may have gotten what you wanted a lot more quickly. You seemed to have taken the louder, ruder is better approach. Based only on your own description of events it seems only one of you was acting like a twat and it wasn’t the waiter.
Honestly. BIG CHEESEY SMILE is “civility?” wth? “Could I have a knife and fork, please” is all that is needed. I don’t want wait staff fawning over me and I’m not about to do it to them (unless they spill something or trip-then I’m sympathy itself). That level of expectation reminds of me of a pt’s family who reported me to admin (only time I’ve ever been reported). The manager asked them about my competence: nope, that was ok. Did I keep them informed? Yup, sure did. Did I advocate for them with the docs and ancillary services? yes. Then–what was the problem? I didn’t smile enough. Honest to Pete. I’m not a flight attendant (and when is the last time you had one smiling at you?). I’m not Julie McCoy off the Love Boat. I’m a nurse. But enough of digressing.
I am thinking more along the lines of Measure now–maybe this guy didn’t know enough English and finally someone in the kitchen figured out that the OP wanted a knife and fork. Otherwise, the waiter was not providing good service-he was not addressing his customer’s needs. The knowledge of Chinese behaviorisms helps explain it, but it’s not an excuse for the lack of response.
Acting like a twat would be the dick tips in that YouTube clip (too funny) IMO.
Doesn’t work with me - I may be a round-eyes, but I can eat with chopsticks just as fast as a knife and fork.
Are you fucking simple or what?
Three times I asked (NOT SHOUTED) for a K&F and 3 times I said please and even the most stupid of waiters would have relised that my ability with chpsticks was less than perfect
So where is the rudeness in that?
You twat
A BIG CHEESEY SMILE was an exageration, a pleasant smile will do. The waiter is there to do their job, their job is not to have you look down on them but rather provide you with service, accepting abuse is not part of the job.
Flight Attendants have to smile and nurses don’t? Jeez one is bringing me a coffee and one is looking after me when I’m unwell. I’m damn sure the trolley dolly isn’t the one I NEED the smile off! “Honest to Pete” no wonder you think a smile to a waiter constitutes fawning!
Well I’m dreadfully sorry if I misread your OP but to this twat you seemed like one of those customers one wouldn’t go out of ones way to help, but then I’m a twat what would I know.
Oddly though I can’t think of one time I have not been able to convey a message to waiter and not got what I have wanted. I tend to treat them like people though…not utensil deliverers.
You are incredible. But, you made me laugh today so for that I’m grateful. Mercy, but this is entertaining. (not up on your colloquialisms are you? I just used another one! gadzooks! I can’t stop!)
How do you know that chowder didn’t smile at the waiter? I was castigated for not smiling ENOUGH–which is different than not smiling at all.
What is the exact ratio of smiling to requests that would satisfy you? What constitutes abuse in your eyes? A simple request for more customary cutlery is abuse? And who died and made you Arbiter of Proper Restaurant Manners?
Tell you what. When you come to that Chinese restaurant and order whatever you like, and when you don’t get a fork and knife, you may go ahead and make your cheesey smile and bend over backwards for that waiter and then leave him a big tip and none of us will say a word. Scout’s honor (crikey! another one!)
Who knew kiwi baiting could be so much fun? 