# No, I don't eat popcorn. That's not the point. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 18, 2011, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689 "2011-09-18T02:22:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/41 "2011-09-18T15:29:21Z")
This is funny and all, and I don’t want to turn this into one of those situations where the thread turns into a pitting of the OP, but I have to question **Triskadecamus** about his general work habits and his apparent disdain for his company. **Triskadecamus** , are you putting the new cover sheets on your TPS reports? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/42 "2011-09-18T15:44:44Z")
By the way, have you read the memo about Terrible Popcorn Scorching? Please read that Terrible Popcorn Scorching memo, mmmkay? ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/43 "2011-09-18T15:46:29Z")
Yeah. I get memos and things like that all the time. I sign them and send them in. Why? Because: 1. At annual review time, whether or not you signed stupid-assed things like this matters. It matters for your final rating, it matters for my raise, and it matters for my bonus. Not signing a form saying “I promise I won’t burn popcorn” could very possibly cost me _thousands_ of dollars per year. That’s a no-brainer. 2. In this economy, at a company which will fire you for wearing the wrong color shoes, you better believe I do all the stupid, meaningless bullshit like this. I’d hate to find myself next year wearing a hairnet and asking “would you like to supersize that?” because I didn’t sign a stupid bullshit form promising to wipe my ass or not poke myself with sharp objects. I know the OP must feel secure in their job. Some people find that their job is not nearly as secure as they thought it was, however. The SDMB is rife with tales of “OMFG I got fired!” ---
**Author:** ![emcee2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emcee2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emcee2k)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/44 "2011-09-18T16:09:38Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Does this microwave not have a popcorn button? I have never had a bag of popcorn burn when using the popcorn button; it senses the popcorn steam and sets the time accordingly. Never burns. > > If your company insists on buying the cheapest microwave at Wal-Mart with just one timer knob, they deserve what they get. It seems like here is always enough money to deal with disaster, but never enough for prevention. Yeah, it’s the microwaves fault that grown adults can’t make popcorn without the fire department being called. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/45 "2011-09-18T16:10:40Z")
I HATE WITH THE FIRE OF 10,000 SUNS the idea of collective punishment in the workplace. It is lazy management. And I have stunted my career on many occasions by making that known. Look, you know who the stupid fucker is who is 1\> Burning popcorn 2\> stealing coffee from the executive boardroom 3\> Texting under his desk like he thinks no one sees it. PUNISH THAT PERSON. Don’t pretend you don’t know who it is, don’t play EMPRESS OF ALL DRAMA and stir up a big scene threatening everyone’s jobs or taking away the microwave or the coffee pot. Stop pissing off everyone else in the place. _ **Do your fucking job** _ and deal with the one individual (or the few individuals) who are causing the problem and leave the rest of us the fuck alone. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/46 "2011-09-18T16:19:21Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Then we would talk about leveraging our synergy for a while. > > Regards, > Shodan Is that how you crazy kids are calling it these days ? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/47 "2011-09-18T16:24:36Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I HATE WITH THE FIRE OF 10,000 SUNS the idea of collective punishment in the workplace. It is lazy management. And I have stunted my career on many occasions by making that known. **MEMO** From: Human Resources To: All Employees RE: Fire Hazards Dear Employees, It has come to our attention that certain workers are expressing umbrage towards certain Corporate Policies. While a healthy workplace relies on some degree of feedback, we must henceforth prohibit any such expression that involves temperatures approaching that required for nuclear fusion. We recognize that some employees are capable of maintaining proper safety protocols. However, other employees have been engaged in practices that replicate the heat of multiple suns, and in some cases, multiple thousands. For the safety of everyone at the workplace, we are instilling a policy that prohibits such displays of angst. If you have any questions about this policy, please consult your immediate supervisor or your HR representative. ---
**Author:** ![TexCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/texcat/32/9041_2.png) [@TexCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TexCat)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/48 "2011-09-18T16:27:59Z")
Do microwaves cause stupidity? We had this same problem at work with microwaves causing fires or at least causing fire alarms. Mostly it was popcorn, but sometimes it was a TV dinner or something else. The solution here was to force you to watch the microwave. You are not allowed to put the popcorn in the microwave and walk away. You must stand there and watch it pop. I work in a large building with thousands of people and probably dozens of microwaves that all say “Do NOT leave the microwave unattended.” It seems to have worked. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/49 "2011-09-18T17:09:12Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I HATE WITH THE FIRE OF 10,000 SUNS the idea of collective punishment in the workplace. It is lazy management. And I have stunted my career on many occasions by making that known. > > Look, you know who the stupid fucker is who is > 1\> Burning popcorn > 2\> stealing coffee from the executive boardroom > 3\> Texting under his desk like he thinks no one sees it. > > PUNISH THAT PERSON. > > Don’t pretend you don’t know who it is, don’t play EMPRESS OF ALL DRAMA and stir up a big scene threatening everyone’s jobs or taking away the microwave or the coffee pot. Stop pissing off everyone else in the place. _ **Do your fucking job** _ and deal with the one individual (or the few individuals) who are causing the problem and leave the rest of us the fuck alone. I’m still sticking with my second solution - microwaves and management thrown off the building. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/50 "2011-09-18T17:34:41Z")
Where I worked, we gutted the microwaves and used the cases for RF test chambers (with nice easily-closeable radio-wave-proof doors). The electronic parts were. presumably, tossed (though with the right kind of impedance matching, you could turn the magnetron into a dandy microwave pistol…) ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/51 "2011-09-18T17:34:55Z")
> [@Triskadecamus](#): > > I am sure no one in management actually wanted to know what I thought they should do. I am highly likely to point out how stupid new policies are, out loud, among my coworkers. I also failed to acknowledge the receipt of all the memos involved, and admitted out loud that I had not read them. I have refused to serve on committees or investigation teams into stupid crap many times over the years. It is a pointless waste of time, in my opinion. The actual answers to the problems that are addressed are mostly the same answer that I had for this one. Another actual answer that I have said out loud many times is, “That was not a violation of policy that was a felony.” > > The thing is, when you don’t want to tell your subordinate “You must do this particular thing, reliably, and without direct observation by supervisors, or you will be fired.” Then you can be very sure that some of them will not do it. Then, if you don’t fire anyone for a few years, even though some of them are not doing it, it becomes legally impossible for you to actually fire someone no matter how bone lazy they are. (I know the lawyer who is 9 for 9 getting people reinstated at this workplace. At least two of those should have served time in jail.) Of course, if you want to do it, you have to come out of your office, and get to know what happens in the facility you are being paid to administer, manage, or supervise. > > Circulating memos and collecting acknowledgements is part of the “whose fault is it” plan of management. This is, of course a top down phenomenon, in our case coming from the Governor of the Commonwealth, and seven levels of bureaucracy. The committees I was referring to, which of course have other actual names than those I gave, are unimportant window dressing taken out of “Good Management” texts intended convince line workers, such as myself that we are valued members of the team, and have input into policy decisions. I find it all pointless, stupid, and dishonest, and have often said so. This was one of several attempts to get me to put up or shut up about a currently “serious problem.” > > The fact that rampant stupidity in the workplace was not the perceived problem is what actually makes me fairly sure that no improvement, not even on the Great Popcorn Debacle, much less on the quality of our operation is likely in the foreseeable future. I don’t care about the popcorn. > > Tris I 100% support this post. My work is the same. Any small issue has to be given a thorough ass-reaming by management so they can put it in their performance evaluation as something they did. Anything from a new memo you’re going to write regularly to an training you attended gets touted by the incompetent management as an action. They’ve banned fans at my work; no explanation, no discussion, and only the other managers got the memo instead of having it sent to everyone. It came out of the blue right before summer, written by a couple of sycophants who probably decided it while shitfaced in their lonely masturbation dens. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/52 "2011-09-18T17:35:45Z")
“Pyrocorn Maniacs” bwahahaha! There is only one microwave in our building, which buried deep in the lair of our office manager (and none of the rest of us use it because it’s not worth getting the stinkeye from her when you ask to use it). Being a health nut, she typically brings her own lunches and some of them are on the pungent side. Normally it doesn’t bother me because I like the smell of onions and spices and things. Once, I don’t know what the hell she had in there, but it smelled like week-old trout in toejam sauce spiced with mustard gas, with a side of garlic. It was so bad that another coworker and I had our office windows and the front door propped open (in November) to try to clear the air. The boss actually told her not to ever, EVER bring that shit into the building again. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/53 "2011-09-18T17:46:20Z")
Many years ago, we got a note from HR that said that in order to save electricity, all PCs were to be turned off over night. Also, Security would turn off any running computers that they found. Unfortunately, there were a few of us who ran simulations overnight that took a few hours to complete. My notes about this to HR went unanswered. Fortunately, Security was too lazy to actually hunt down and turn off running computers. ---
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/54 "2011-09-18T17:53:58Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Get rid of the microwaves before some idiot puts some yellow chicken “peeps” in there…someone where I used to work did that and this was the result: > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_KuGizBjDXo](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KuGizBjDXo) > > link safe for work (except for the place that it happened I guess 🙂 ) This is what actually happens when you put a marshmallow peep in the microwave oven: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Cj3hGpCHYQ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Cj3hGpCHYQ) ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/55 "2011-09-18T18:40:17Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Many years ago, we got a note from HR that said that in order to save electricity, all PCs were to be turned off over night. Also, Security would turn off any running computers that they found. Unfortunately, there were a few of us who ran simulations overnight that took a few hours to complete. My notes about this to HR went unanswered. Fortunately, Security was too lazy to actually hunt down and turn off running computers. Oh I loved that sort of thing back in my IT days. Angry Red Faced Manager/Director/VP: So whose fault was it that such-and-such did not get completed on time? Me: Whatever corporate baboon decided that my computer needed to be turned off at night and then made sure that it was turned off after I left. Baboon: Why didn’t you complete this during your regular working hours? Me: Last time I ran it, it took 17 hours. ---
**Author:** ![Baracus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@Baracus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baracus)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/56 "2011-09-18T18:56:06Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Many years ago, we got a note from HR that said that in order to save electricity, all PCs were to be turned off over night. Also, Security would turn off any running computers that they found. Unfortunately, there were a few of us who ran simulations overnight that took a few hours to complete. My notes about this to HR went unanswered. Fortunately, Security was too lazy to actually hunt down and turn off running computers. I think at one point that we had one message from the energy saving people to turn our computers off at night and another from IT that said to leave them on so that they could push updates. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/57 "2011-09-18T19:04:40Z")
> [@Triskadecamus](#): > > These are the same great minds that decided to fight rampant theft by changing from opaque trash bags, to transparant trash bags. Anyone ever mention to them that the garbage thieves were in fact garbage men paid to remove the trash? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/58 "2011-09-18T20:05:10Z")
I’ve been dealing with stupid corporate office policies for almost 30 years. I gave up complaining or trying to explain why the policies didn’t make sense. The best way I found of coping was to report every single violation, real and/or imagined to my manager. Almost without fail, they eventually decide they don’t really want my input after all. ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/59 "2011-09-18T21:06:32Z")
> [@Triskadecamus](#): > > …PYROCORN MANIACS!.. Band name! ---
**Author:** ![ricksummon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ricksummon/32/3333_2.png) [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689/60 "2011-09-18T21:30:41Z")
> [@ataraxy22](#): > > This is what actually happens when you put a marshmallow peep in the microwave oven: > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Cj3hGpCHYQ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Cj3hGpCHYQ) All this talk about Peeps in the microwave and not one person has mentioned **[MORTAL PEEP FIGHT!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itGGVd3nHUw&feature=related)** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-i-dont-eat-popcorn-thats-not-the-point/596689.md?page=4)