I would have suggested getting a 5 mW microwave.
I guess my question is, why didn’t you make a suggestion the first time they sent you a memo telling you to make a suggestion. Couldn’t a lot of the aggravation with your boss and the chairperson of that committee have been avoided if you just signed the piece of paper in the first place?
That sounds like an interesting story. People were looting so much shit that they needed trash bags to carry it all? Or is it that taking out the trash is part of employees’ regular duties, and people were surreptitiously smuggling items of value out by putting them in with the real trash?
Someone should just buy a popcorn maker.
There are microwaves that can’t be set for more than 5 or so minutes. I’ve only ever seen them in office breakrooms.
getting on the radar screen of HR is never a good idea, especially the way you did it. You basically mocked some HR person’s pet project. You will be talked about in HR meetings, and your memo will be saved, copied and distributed to others in HR showing you to be a sarcastic malcontent.
Be wary of a future “downsizing”.
Remember, HR is not there for you. They are there to save the company money from lawsuits, and to come up with insane surveys like the one you made a mockery of to prove to upper management that they are a “value add” function. Which they aren’t. HR departments are complete overhead, and they must invent crap to keep justifying their existence.
SFP - just trying to help.
Because I believed the memo to be insincere, and didn’t think that management perceived the problem at all. They wanted a policy that was proposed by someone other than management to alleviate themselves as target for the Popcornitarian outrage. Their desired outcome was venal, and stupid, and they did not need my help in that.
Actually, my own boss was just passing messages, and had no problem with it. And, as I originally pointed out, she didn’t think they were going to want my advice either. This committee is not the actual popcornfire control team, but another committee created to find out why so many committees created to engage folks in creating policy fail to gain any useful input. If you stop and think about it, the folks who create those committees don’t think the folks they choose to be on them are smart enough not to set popcorn on fire. They don’t want solutions, they want to be able to say whose fault it all is, and they don’t want that to be them. This is not the business model, by the way, this is a hybrid of feudalism, and entrenched bureaucracy.
Tris
Talk about cultural differences. In all my years of employment in Australia I have never seen anyone eating popcorn at work.
We are not allowed to use toasters as the merest hint of smoke trips our VESDA but we do use sandwich presses and microwaves.
Right. But the way I see it, life, and office life especially, is 95% putting up with bullshit, and its a lot easier to just go along with it than stand out. Better to keep your head down, do what they want you to do, and just get your work done.
I’ve got to say, if you have multiple fires and people carrying off bags of loot, that sounds more like people seeking revenge on a company they don’t like than them being just stupid.
Or possibly you’re being raided by Vikings. Notice any big blond guys in helmets wandering around?
I feel guilty when I eat chocolate at work, because I end up getting my keyboard all gooey.
We eat chocolate at work. We even have a chocolate drawer full of chocolate, mostly from Aldi.
It is great. When you feel like a bit you go and grab a little but unlike having chocolate at home, you don’t mindlessly eat a whole block.
We used to do the same thing with biscuits(cookies to Americans) but that seems to have ceased.
Get rid of the microwaves before some idiot puts some yellow chicken “peeps” in there…someone where I used to work did that and this was the result:
link safe for work (except for the place that it happened I guess 
)
That video is cool and all, but does not mention anything about explosive yellow peeps. Was that tongue-in-cheek? Because I was kinda hoping it to be true
Me too. Kind of a letdown, actually.
How about this for a solution for the great popcorn problem? Get microwaves that don’t allow anything to be cooked longer than X minutes, X set by management. Try to get on that committee to solve for X to make up for your flippant disregard for this problem originally.
Personal history indicates that X=4 minutes.
No reason to run a microwave longer than that IMO anyway.
Things like this make me glad I am no longer a manager. Because when stuff like this came up, I would suggest something ridiculous like “How about if we put a sign on the microwave saying No Popcorn?”
Then we would spend twenty minutes discussing the reasons why that wouldn’t work, and then form a task force to explore the ramifications of a change in policy. Six months later, corporate would deny the change, and we would compromise on a solution like ‘Keep the microwave, but take the door off’.
Then we would talk about leveraging our synergy for a while.
Regards,
Shodan
Tris, I have to ask, did Dwight or Pam sign the memo?
Also FWIW, the guilty party has got to be Kevin, I mean come on.
Does this microwave not have a popcorn button? I have never had a bag of popcorn burn when using the popcorn button; it senses the popcorn steam and sets the time accordingly. Never burns.
If your company insists on buying the cheapest microwave at Wal-Mart with just one timer knob, they deserve what they get. It seems like here is always enough money to deal with disaster, but never enough for prevention.
Don’t be ridiculous, it was “Ron” of course!
Our microwave-related problem at work is smells. I work in a loft space–no enclosed offices. At least once a month, someone will put something (usually fish or cheese related) into the microwave which results in such a pungent stink that we are all leaning out the 13th-floor windows gasping like the last moments of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory.
Of course, “don’t put stinky things in the microwave” e-mails and signs do no more good than the “clean up spills” or “don’t leave an empty cardboard roll of paper towels/toilet paper” e-mails or signs.