Okay, you guys want to hear about a ridiculous method of fundraising?
I used to be registered for a temp agency that was all the time sending me on phone-sales jobs, claiming that was all they had available. On the Monday after 9/11 (not their fault, or the foundation’s fault, certainly, but still the worst possible time to be doing this) they sent me to a local office for…either MS or MD, whichever one doesn’t do the walkathon.
It was like this. I was supposed to call local businesses and talk them into doing a fundraiser. If they agreed to this (were dumb enough to, I should say), someone would come to their office and “arrest” them, then they would be brought to the banquet room of a local restaurant and “locked up” for an hour to work the phones and try to get other suckers to donate.
They were supposed to get a free lunch out of this (there must have been some other incentive, but I don’t remember it now). Well, I knew the restaurant, and the food was pretty good, so I got one of their takeout menus, and referred to it while trying to talk people into this hairbrained scheme. Then the supervisor overheard, and told me not to do that, because the free lunch wasn’t being provided by the restaurant! WTF?
I could deal with the objection of “I can’t do the walkathon”, because that’s not what I was asking for, but I couldn’t bring myself to give any of the scripted rebuttals to “I already sent money to the Trade Center/Pentagon victims”. And furthermore, they wanted me to call every business in town. All of them, including places like auto shops and beauty salons, and I know those people can’t leave! And it wouldn’t have been “just” an hour; stuff like that never is.
Plus which, that whole fake-arrest thing was just idiotic. Who would willlingly subject themselves to that kind of humiliation, with the risk that someone would think they were really being arrested? And the real bottom line was, I was calling people up to ask them to volunteer to call other people up, which I already knew sucked, and I just couldn’t do that in good conscience. It ended like all the phone jobs did: I put in my week and they didn’t ask me to come back. Whatever.