# No, I'm not a baby making machine... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 8, 2004, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138 "2004-10-08T02:02:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/41 "2004-10-08T20:31:12Z")
Ooooh, it’s a snake… Oh, wait, that’s what you’re trying to avoid in the first place! ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/42 "2004-10-08T21:10:04Z")
**WomanofScorn** I can so sympathize with you. My SO and I agree that we don’t want children, but for some reason, my father feels that the validation of HIS life depends on me having kids. At one point, my father tried to get my SOs mother to pressure us about kids. I just about went through the roof when I learned this. I ended up having to sit my parents down, and inform them that this topic was not open for discussion, and that if they continued, I was going to stop seeing them. Thankfully, that seems to have worked. On the lighter side, a friend of mine was asked by a co-worker when she was going to have children. Her responce “9 months after I get pregnant.” The truly funny part was that the co-worker squealled in joy and congratulated my friend, having totally missed the joke. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/43 "2004-10-08T21:44:38Z")
When my husband and I got married, we were firm in our belief that we never wanted to have children. I never really wanted any. Sure, they can be cute and entertaining, but so are dolphins. We don’t need our own dolphin. Then suddenly some kind of horrible biological imperative suddenly took over my brain. I really, really wanted to have a kid or two. I wasn’t thrilled about it at first and I knew Mr. Bawlmer wouldn’t be too receptive to the idea. I thought it would be a passing fancy, like when I was a kid and wanted to own a unicorn ranch, but I still want babies. The surprising part is, my husband wants them now too. What happened? It’s like some kind of group mental illness. We’re still planning to wait a few years, but sometimes I can’t believe we’re considering it at all. I do get irritated with people who ask me when I’m going to have children though. It’s none of their business, and what if I didn’t want any? I sympathize, **WomanofScorn** , I really do. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/44 "2004-10-08T21:57:31Z")
Oh just go ahead and do it. Whats the worst that can happen? ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/45 "2004-10-08T22:00:57Z")
> [@](#): > > No, I’m not a baby making machine… Well, don’t let that stop you from getting plenty of practice in the meantime. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/46 "2004-10-08T23:21:51Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > True story, happened to a friend of mine … > > Female Relation of Some Sort: When are you going to have a baby? > Friend: When they start making them low-carb. I’m on Atkins, you know. Aren’t babies already low carb? Unless they’ve recently been hitting the cheerios, I mean? ---
**Author:** ![WomanofScorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@WomanofScorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WomanofScorn)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/47 "2004-10-09T01:25:13Z")
There’s just this cycle… When you’re dating it’s, “When are you getting married?” When you married it’s, “When are you gonna have a baby?” When you have a kid it’s, “When are you gonna have another one?” I just feel too young. I didn’t have much of a childhood and I feel like I’m having fun now. I just don’t want to be tied down at the moment. What really pissed me off was when my husband just HAD to say upon turning 28: “Well, if we don’t have any kids in two years, I’m just not going to worry about having any. I’ll be too old to have fun with them. Won’t be able to play ball and I’ll be 48 when they graduate.” Um hello…there’s a big difference between 50 and 80. He has this image of him with no teeth and a walker at the age of 50. Bah. He knew how I felt about it. I think he was hoping I’d change my mind. Hell I’m 24, I have time. There’s too many things I want first. Now where’d I put my birth control pills… ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/48 "2004-10-09T01:45:41Z")
> [@cher3](#): > > Aren’t babies already low carb? > > Unless they’ve recently been hitting the cheerios, I mean? “Do you like children, Mr. Twillie?” [W.C. Fields as Clarence Twillie] “Yes, if they’re properly cooked!” ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/49 "2004-10-09T03:15:03Z")
I am ---
**Author:** ![Cherry2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cherry2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cherry2000)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/50 "2004-10-09T03:52:39Z")
Everyone I know gave up on me having kids _years_ ago…thank Og. For awhile, my mom would make a point of telling me, “Oh, YOU’LL change your mind!”. But I never did. And any occassional curiosity I might have felt was instantly cured by babysitting for someone else. One hour, and I was done. Two, and I was ready to stick my head in the oven. Yes, I am one of those women who would prefer the badger to a baby any day. Cherry2000: 39, no kids, one cat, not married but shackin’ with her boyfriend. Life’s good 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/51 "2004-10-09T15:36:26Z")
> [@](#): > > What really pissed me off was when my husband just HAD to say upon turning 28: > > “Well, if we don’t have any kids in two years, I’m just not going to worry about having any. I’ll be too old to have fun with them. Won’t be able to play ball and I’ll be 48 when they graduate.” Has he started taking his Geritol, yet? Has he been getting letters from the AARP? Yeesh, I didn’t get _married_ until I was 33 and we still waited almost 10 years to have kids. (Of course, we ran out to Human Services and picked up a couple of previously owned models, but they were still pretty young and I’ve shared any number of ballgames, hikes, and other activities. (When I was 50, we were hiking over Logan’s pass and up the side of Mt. Ranier.) At the advanced age of 50+, I’ve still found enough energy to play with my infant nephew (he loves pulling himself up the legs of my walker).) Unless your husband is already a couch potato whose energy is draining as you watch, I think that he can be assured that he can still enjoy his kids at an advanced age. (Even we geezers can have fun some of the time.) ---
**Author:** ![WomanofScorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@WomanofScorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WomanofScorn)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/52 "2004-10-09T18:51:03Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > Has he started taking his Geritol, yet? Has he been getting letters from the AARP? > > Yeesh, I didn’t get _married_ until I was 33 and we still waited almost 10 years to have kids. (Of course, we ran out to Human Services and picked up a couple of previously owned models, but they were still pretty young and I’ve shared any number of ballgames, hikes, and other activities. (When I was 50, we were hiking over Logan’s pass and up the side of Mt. Ranier.) At the advanced age of 50+, I’ve still found enough energy to play with my infant nephew (he loves pulling himself up the legs of my walker).) > > Unless your husband is already a couch potato whose energy is draining as you watch, I think that he can be assured that he can still enjoy his kids at an advanced age. (Even we geezers can have fun some of the time.) He’s an active person, he can’t even stand to be home on his days off of work. He’s just being a brat because every single one of his friends has a baby or one on the way. We’ve only been married for 4 years, I think we need a few more 🙂 Then MAYBE I’ll think about it. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/53 "2004-10-09T20:42:22Z")
> [@WomanofScorn](#): > > He’s an active person, he can’t even stand to be home on his days off of work. He’s just being a brat because every single one of his friends has a baby or one on the way. > > We’ve only been married for 4 years, I think we need a few more 🙂 Then MAYBE I’ll think about it. Oh God! Don’t wait _too_ long or his seed will find no purchase on your barren shores. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/54 "2004-10-09T21:42:06Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Oh God! Don’t wait _too_ long or his seed will find no purchase on your barren shores. The _badgers_ are into _agriculture?!?_😕😕 Just what kind of badgers _are these?!?_😕😕 ---
**Author:** ![Glassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ea666f/32.png) [@Glassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glassy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/55 "2004-10-10T00:09:16Z")
I sympathize too, **WomanofScorn**. And if y’all think that female relatives are insensitive and pushy on this topic, just try asking your Catholic priest to support your decision to remain childless. I still can’t believe what mine had to say on the topic. :mad: ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/56 "2004-10-10T17:28:37Z")
[QUOTE=gariusI think its fair to say, pumpkin, that _this_ is your lucky day… [/QUOTE] Guess it was MY lucky day - that was great, garius! Thanks for the laugh. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/57 "2004-10-10T17:58:00Z")
> [@cbawlmer](#): > > When my husband and I got married, we were firm in our belief that we never wanted to have children. I never really wanted any. Sure, they can be cute and entertaining, but so are dolphins. We don’t need our own dolphin. Oh, that is SO good! I may just make that my email sig file if you don’t object to being quoted. ---
**Author:** ![WomanofScorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@WomanofScorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WomanofScorn)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/58 "2004-10-10T19:15:57Z")
> [@Glassy](#): > > I sympathize too, **WomanofScorn**. And if y’all think that female relatives are insensitive and pushy on this topic, just try asking your Catholic priest to support your decision to remain childless. I still can’t believe what mine had to say on the topic. :mad: ☹ Well you can’t just say that and not tell me what he said…so out with it. ---
**Author:** ![Glassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ea666f/32.png) [@Glassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glassy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/59 "2004-10-10T20:51:12Z")
> [@WomanofScorn](#): > > Well you can’t just say that and not tell me what he said…so out with it. Father Michael said that my marriage was null in the eyes of God, and that every time I had sex with my husband I was committing a mortal sin. And before anyone mentions it - yes, I know I was a fool to be surprised. All I can say is, it’s one thing to know that the Catholic Church condemns something, and it’s another to have the kindly white-haired gentleman condemn you to your face. I was assured that if I went to confession, admitted that my desire to remain childless was a sin, and begged for God’s forgiveness, I could come back to church and take the Eucharist again. I haven’t. ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2004, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138/60 "2004-10-11T05:28:30Z")
> [@susan\_foster](#): > > “Honey, if you’re not married by the time you’re thirty, have you considered adoption?” > > From my mom - more than once. > > Susan To which the correct response is “Yes mom, but no one will adopt thirty year olds…” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-baby-making-machine/268138.md?page=2)