# No, I'm not a Skinhead, thanks. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 11, 2001, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855 "2001-10-11T19:39:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Demise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@Demise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demise)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/1 "2001-10-11T19:39:17Z")
I have very short hair. 1/8th of an inch, to be exact. The reason my hair is so short is simple: I am going bald and want to do it gracefully. No comb-overs for me. With my hair as short as it is, the thin patches don’t stand out in contrast to the regular stuff nearly as much, plus when I actually get a bald spot, it won’t look as bad. But this hasn’t stopped people from asking me if I’m a Skinhead. People like my mother for example. Me: “Hi mom.” Mom: “You shaved your head!” Me: “I know, I’m going bald, remember?” Mom: “You look like a Skinhead!” Me: “Gee, thanks mom.” Or this: Buddy1: “I’m going to cut my son’s hair really short.” Me: “Oh yeah, like this?” B1: “No, I don’t want him to look like a Skinhead.” Me: Sigh This was nice: Buddy2: “Wow, you cut your hair off!” Me: (Ignoring the idiocy of stating the blindingly obvious) “Yup.” B2: “So are you, like, a racist Skinhead now?” Me: “Die!” _thump…thud_ And finally: Stranger: “Are you a Skinhead?” Me: _screams incoherently_ What the hell? Do people go up to, say, Vin Diesel and ask him if he’s a skinhead? Bruce Willis? How about Michael freakin Jordan? Seeing as I’m 6’1", 280lbs, and can bench-press a horse, you’d think that people would keep their moronic questions to themselves, but no. So, what should my standard response be to the question “Are you a Skinhead?” I don’t want to pull out anything old and trite, like “No, do you still beat your wife/husband/SO/etc?” It’s got to be something original, so I’m asking for your help, Pitizens. I _know_ y’all can come up with something good. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/2 "2001-10-11T19:48:52Z")
Idiot: “So, are you a skinhead?” Your response: “ **Fuck** , no! Those oh-and-four shitheads? Jesus, did you read about how Schottenheimer dressed down Darrel Green in front of the whole goddamned training camp? He’s been with the 'Skins for _nineteen fucking years_, a Pro Bowler most of that, and Schottenheimer decides to make a fucking example of _him_. What a fucking asshole. And then he comes up with a brand new offense, designed for anyone other than the current quarterback, and expects it to _work_? Then acts all surprised when they fuck up? Jesus Christ, I’m no fucking 'Skin-head. They’re going oh-and-sixteen, and I’m laughing at them the whole fucking way. [Insert team of your choice] all the way, baby.” Designed not to humiliate, but to confuse, and possibly embarass. Other possibility: Idiot: “Are you a skinhead?” You: “No, I’d _never_ judge a person based on how they looked.” Try not to be _too_ smug after saying that one. ---
**Author:** ![NPavelka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/edb3f5/32.png) [@NPavelka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NPavelka)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/3 "2001-10-11T20:00:18Z")
I like you am going bald and decided to cut my hair short (1/4 in), mostly for the graceful effect, it also tends to not clog up the drains as much, and it is soo much easier to take care of. I have also found during my college days that women seemed to like to rub it… LOL I have gotten the typical skinhead responses and have in a few cases told the person that it was a symptom of a disease. That usially gets them to leave you alone about it real quick. Another good one is to tell them that your idol is Mr Clean… Don’t let them get to you, just go out for a drive and put the top down so the wind can whip over your scalp. ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/4 "2001-10-11T20:03:55Z")
I had a friend, who is part jewish, get jumped at a mall because a couple of other jewish guys thought he and the guy he was with were skins. The reason they had shaved heads? They were green berets. It made the papers, the two guys who jumped him went to the hospital. ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/5 "2001-10-11T20:17:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NPavelka \* > \*\*I \I have gotten the typical skinhead responses and have in a few cases told the person that it was a symptom of a disease. > \*\* I knew this girl who was a skin(a non-nazi skin…they do exist). Real pretty girl, just no hair. One time, at the mall, some rednecks started giving her shit, so she gets all sad looking and says “see how you like it when you get cancer” and pretends to cry. The felt about 2 inches tall. Then again, another time, she was wearing a skirt, and it was that time of the month…and she reached in and pulled out her tampon and threw at some people giving her shit. Man I miss her… ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/6 "2001-10-12T00:39:47Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by NPavelka \* > \*\* I have also found during my college days that women seemed to like to rub it… LOL_\* Suddenly, the “I shaved my crotch” threads are starting to make sense. ::Runs off to buy a Mach III:: ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/7 "2001-10-12T00:49:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bdgr \* > \*\*Then again, another time, she was wearing a skirt, and it was that time of the month…and she reached in and pulled out her tampon and threw at some people giving her shit. \*\* :eek: It’s like the equivalent of an ape throwing feces. Yikes! ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/8 "2001-10-12T02:14:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JavaMaven1 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by bdgr \* > > \*\*Then again, another time, she was wearing a skirt, and it was that time of the month…and she reached in and pulled out her tampon and threw at some people giving her shit. \*\* > > :eek: > > It’s like the equivalent of an ape throwing feces. Yikes! \*\* It was damn funny though… ---
**Author:** ![Demise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@Demise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demise)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/9 "2001-10-12T02:23:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John Corrado \* > **Your response: "Fuck, no! Those oh-and-four shitheads? Jesus, did you read about how Schottenheimer dressed down Darrel Green…** Heh, that would be pretty damn funny, especially since I’m in Cowboy country down here. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NPavelka \* > **I have also found during my college days that women seemed to like to rub it…** Yes, I noticed that little side effect very quicky. My hair is so soft, one girl told me it felt like velvet. 😃 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bdgr \* > **…and she reached in and pulled out her tampon and threw at some people giving her shit.** Um, wow. I don’t think I need to go quite that far, but I bet it was pretty damn funny. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Myrnalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/10 "2001-10-12T02:33:58Z")
Hijack. Ignore. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Demise \* > **Do people go up to, say, Vin Diesel and ask him if he’s a skinhead?** If I were in a position to “go up” to Vin Diesel, words would be unnecessary and a waste of time. Time which I could put to much better use. That’s it. Continue. ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/11 "2001-10-12T03:24:34Z")
I agree, **Myrnalene** , but if I _were_ to find the time to ask Vin Diesel anything (say, in elevator on the way up to his place), I’m thinking it would be more along the lines of “Could you help me with this zipper?” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/12 "2001-10-12T04:13:53Z")
My ex-roommate Moishe likes to keep his head shaved. He finds it particularly funny when people ask him if he is a racist skinhead (or worse, if he would like to _join_ the racist skinheads\*), because had he actually lived in Nazi Germany, he would have gotten every triangle they had except the one for Jehovah’s Witnesses. \*I say “racist skinhead” because there are plenty of skinheads - actual skinheads - who are not racist. For them it’s just a subculture, like punk, hippie, or goth. There’s a group in Montreal called SkinHeads Against Racial Prejudice that I’ve suggested he join; he’s still thinking about it. Mostly, he just doesn’t identify as any kind of a skinhead (i.e. the whole ska thing, Doc Martens, or any of it). ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/13 "2001-10-12T04:27:01Z")
Matt’s right. While there are racist skinheads, it could be that a majority of them aren’t. Skinheads were a working class, ska-loving movement from Britain. I wouldn’t think anyone was a skinhead just because they have short hair, unless they were wearing braces and boots also. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/14 "2001-10-12T04:37:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*\*I say “racist skinhead” because there are plenty of skinheads - actual skinheads - who are not racist. For them it’s just a subculture, like punk, hippie, or goth. There’s a group in Montreal called SkinHeads Against Racial Prejudice that I’ve suggested he join; he’s still thinking about it. Mostly, he just doesn’t identify as any kind of a skinhead (i.e. the whole ska thing, Doc Martens, or any of it). \*\* Heh, some of my best friends in high school/college were SHARP’s. Half of 'em were black. That always kinda blew people’s mind… “NON-racist… skinheads?” Gotta love SHARPies. ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/15 "2001-10-12T04:58:21Z")
Yeah, we have sharpies down here, but in my day, there were a couple of non-nazi skin groups. The police here harrassed them out of existance, becuase they decided they were a gang. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/16 "2001-10-12T05:15:51Z")
Okay, who in the hell is Vin Diesel? And bdgr your friends sounds like alot of fun. I used to have a friend that I was very close with. He used to think my Star of David was cool, and actually wore it on occation. We lost touch when he went into the Army, and then the next time I saw him he was on Oprah or Sally, or something like that talking about what it was like to be a racist-skinhead. I saw him in a store a few years ago and got physically sick. I left my cart where it was and left the store. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/17 "2001-10-12T07:23:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lemur866 \* > \*\*Matt’s right. While there are racist skinheads, it could be that a majority of them aren’t. Skinheads were a working class, ska-loving movement from Britain. I wouldn’t think anyone was a skinhead just because they have short hair, unless they were wearing braces and boots also. \*\* I’ve known maybe a half dozen non-racist skins, total, that I’ve ever liked or trusted. In my experience, most skins, whether they’re SHARPs, boneheads, RAHSHers, or otherwise, tend to be intolerant shitheads. If they’re not racist, they’re homophobic, or just plain jock assholes. Hell, let’s not forget about Paki bashing, the pastime of choice for the original skins, black and white. Yeah. That’s non-racist as fuck. I’ve always marveled at the way that the otherwise progressive, sensitive skinhead dudes that I call friends jump through every logical hoop possible to justify their choice of fashion when it’s been closely associated with a lot of Bad Shit since 1969. I don’t mean to come down on **Lemur** in particular; I just happen to come from a burg where the SHARPs, once they ran the boneheads outta town, decided to focus their energies on kicking the shit out of anybody who didn’t quite meet their definition of “working class patriot.” –black455, who’s recieved (and given) more than his share of black eyes from (and to) “working class ska-lovers” for having slightly longer than military regulation hair. ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/18 "2001-10-12T07:32:38Z")
Kricket, Vin Diesel, Vin, Kricket. [http://www.vindieselworld.com/wallpaper/wallpaper3.jpg](http://www.vindieselworld.com/wallpaper/wallpaper3.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/19 "2001-10-12T09:01:47Z")
**BALD IS BEAUTIFUL, BABY!!!** But you have to adopt some kind of facial hair. Mustache, goatee, soul patch, sideburns…something. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855/20 "2001-10-12T10:03:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Demise \* > **I have very short hair. 1/8th of an inch, to be exact. The reason my hair is so short is simple: I am going bald and want to do it gracefully. No comb-overs for me. With my hair as short as it is, the thin patches don’t stand out in contrast to the regular stuff nearly as much, plus when I actually get a bald spot, it won’t look as bad.** No way - go for the comb-over, it’s the only option! Judging by my dad and my uncles, I reckon by mid forties my hair should start to go. I fully intend to grow the _Comb-over of the Gods_[sup]TM[/sup]. By my mid fifties, when I’ve got about 20 hairs left, I want them grown to a good 7 or 8 foot in length so I can fold them and re-fold them to cover as much ground as possible. I want it to be like a hair-lid, flapping up like it’s hinged every time there’s a breeze. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-a-skinhead-thanks/86855.md?page=2)