# No, I'm not anorexic. Where do you get off asking? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 4, 2003, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203 "2003-07-04T07:38:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/21 "2003-07-04T17:26:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dnooman \* > **You cannot possibly fathom the ostracization (sp?) that an overweight person undergoes on an HOURLY basis** Please pardon my French **dnooman** , but fuck you, you obnoxious shithead. Guess what - large people don’t have the market cornered on getting their feelings hurt. Being told you’re disgusting looking makes you feel really crappy weather it’s because your thin or fat. How dare you belittle the feelings of those of us in the group that have been mocked, made fun of, and generally verbally abused by _complete strangers_ because we happen to be small. How dare you suggest that your pain is more accute, or real just because you happen to be large. Those that are small feel the sting of insensitive comments just as surely as those that are large do, and you’re ignorant to suggest otherwise, and to suggest that we should just “get over” ourselves. What a collosal, obnoxious jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Bandanaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ab097/32.png) [@Bandanaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bandanaman)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/22 "2003-07-04T17:36:50Z")
Getting fat when you’re skinny is a helluva lot easier than getting skinny when you’re fat. I think a lot of people feel safe in making comments to skinny people, based on that conception. Dieting is a stressful, laborious time, but sitting down to a big ol’ plate o’ pizza is pretty easy. JMO. ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/23 "2003-07-04T17:40:33Z")
Agree with the sentiment, **Alice**. Being criticized for your appearance doesn’t feel good in any case. What’s next - are the “average build” folks going to get slammed? People are just so damn rude, it’s appalling. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/24 "2003-07-04T17:48:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bandanaman \* > \*\*Getting fat when you’re skinny is a helluva lot easier than getting skinny when you’re fat. I think a lot of people feel safe in making comments to skinny people, based on that conception. Dieting is a stressful, laborious time, but sitting down to a big ol’ plate o’ pizza is pretty easy. JMO. \*\* Not necessarily. A lot of people are underweight because they lack the metabolism to let those calories build up-my mother is usually underweight, no matter how hard she tries. And she also can’t eat that much, and she has a sensitive stomach-a lot of foods make her sick. ---
**Author:** ![Chotii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@Chotii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chotii)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/25 "2003-07-04T18:12:49Z")
…or maybe you should try being 4’10", in a world built for people who are at least 5’6" tall. Guess what: every chair you sit in, your feet dangle. You can’t see over the dashboard of many vehicles to drive, and sometimes you can’t reach the pedals either. You can’t find clothes that fit without rolling up sleeves and pant-legs (or paying an arm and a leg for something labeled ‘petite’, and these usually assume you weigh 95 lbs…which I don’t). Oh, people don’t make fun of you…exactly. They may decide it’s amusing to pick you up like a child, or say “I didn’t know you were THAT short!” when they ask how tall you are. Or they just overlook you in line, assuming you must be a child (that last doesn’t happen to me anymore since I’m pushing 37 years old, but in college it was a problem). Basically, yeah, it can really suck to be non-standard. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/26 "2003-07-04T18:32:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chotii \* > \*\* > Basically, yeah, it can really suck to be non-standard. \*\* Amen, Chotii. Power to the non-standard people! Yah! Not only am I a woman (an instant minority) but I have very short legs, making it neccessary for me to pull my seat ALL the way up when I drive and even then sometimes (as was the case in my old Buick) it’s not easy for me to reach the pedals comfortably. I am also left-handed and boy was THAT a problem in school, having to search out the ONE desk in every class room that was left-handed instead of right handed, years of cramped fingers from being forced to use right-handed scissors…it’s torture to be a sinstral in a right-handed world I tell ya.:rolleyes: IDBB ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/27 "2003-07-04T18:36:00Z")
I just got in this discussion in a thread over in CafeSociety… I didn’t quite feel it was pit-worthy, but I have at times in the past. (The thread is about one of the girls on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=194228](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=194228) ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/28 "2003-07-04T18:36:45Z")
4’10"? Try being 3’6", like a friend of mine! Fortunately, the size of her mouth is inversely proportional to the height of her head from the ground, so she doesn’t put up with any shit. But it’s ridiculous to say it’s easier to get fat if you’re thin than thin if you’re fat. My MIL for many years has been underweight. She’s 5’1" and at one point was down below 90 pounds. Today she’s back up to _almost_ what she weighed when she got married over 50 years ago. She’s tried to gain weight and simply cannot. It’s caused her all kinds of health problems over the years, that she would have much preferred not to have. What **Chotii** said: “Basically, yeah, it can really suck to be non-standard.” ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/29 "2003-07-04T18:37:59Z")
I’m an anorexic. Not anorexia nervosa, but food just does not appeal to me, and even when I do eat, I don’t eat very much. (I have Crohn’s disease, and anorexia is one of the symphtoms. I’m healthy, though, and I don’t have to try and gain weigh or anything). I’m 5’4", and I weigh an even 100 pounds. (Usually when people ask me if I’m anorexic, I say no, because I don’t feel like explaining.) People pick me up without asking me. Then they say, “You don’t weigh anything!” They wrap their fingers around my wrists and laugh at how their finger overlap. It’s not cool. I hate being picked up–it makes me really uncomfortable. It drives me crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/30 "2003-07-04T18:44:19Z")
I dunno… I mean, I don’t see anyone beefin’ about BEING skinny, here. Mostly, I see people beefin’ about stupid people asking them idiotic questions because they ARE skinny. And if I’ve offended any anorexics with my use of the word “beefin’,” I heartily apologize. But it seems to me that “stupid people,” in general, are the largest reason for the existence of the BBQ Pit. So beef away. And next time, just shoot back, “No, I don’t have anorexia. Do you have brain cancer?” ---
**Author:** ![Venoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@Venoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venoma)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/31 "2003-07-04T19:22:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wang-Ka \* > \*\*And next time, just shoot back, “No, I don’t have anorexia. Do you have brain cancer?” \*\* HAAAAAAAAAAH! Classic. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bandanaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ab097/32.png) [@Bandanaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bandanaman)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/32 "2003-07-04T19:37:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Not necessarily. A lot of people are underweight because they lack the metabolism to let those calories build up-my mother is usually underweight, no matter how hard she tries. And she also can’t eat that much, and she has a sensitive stomach-a lot of foods make her sick. \*\* Exception noted. But I still maintain that getting fat is much easier than getting thin. ---
**Author:** ![Nichol\_storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Nichol\_storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nichol_storm)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/33 "2003-07-04T19:54:20Z")
Thanks y’all for the tips. I especially liked the “brain cancer” one – I’ll be using that one for years to come, thanks **Wang-ka**! ((( **Zabali\_Clawbane and Mirror Image rorriM egamI** ))) I wish you both the best. I’ve known others who had eating disorders and it’s a truly terrible condition. I’m sure you’re both strong enough to handle it, though. **Bryan Ekers** – “lithe”. _Hmmm._ It has potential. One of the things that distresses me is this perception that being anorexic is somehow desirable. I’ve heard people say “I wish I could stop eating so I could drop these pounds” and sometimes when people ask me if I have anorexia there’s this unspoken assumption that if I did and if it made me this thin, then it must be a good thing. I wish I had more talent with the English language so I could explain this better. It’s very disturbing and makes me wonder about how rotten our society is if being sick is seen as a good thing. I can only imagine what it’s like for true anorexics, living with a disease that people dismiss as “Oh, you’re so lucky to be thin, stop complaining.” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/34 "2003-07-04T20:04:48Z")
Nichol, do you know there are actually anorexia support groups? I don’t mean for supporting those who are trying to overcome eating disorders. I mean for _supporting the disorders_ and affirming the person’s not eating. They’re all over the web. It’s appalling. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/35 "2003-07-04T20:35:00Z")
Nicole, remember as I say this that I am among your love harem (FIRST among them!) and so I speakwith all due deference and respect. I have a somewhat opposite problem, being substantially overweight. Not so much that stranger on the street comment about it, but occasionally a child will make some nasty remark. Most negative comments I get are from within my family, and I wonder if it’s the same with you. Aunts and uncles and cousins, most of them feel free to butt in with their opions about how I should fix up SOMETHING in my life, if they perceive a problem. That’s why I never tell them anything about anything I do. I wonder all this anger of yours is about strangers, or family and friends? I think you should give some consideration to the fact that _at least some_, and probably most, of the people who say that are saying it out of concern for your health. If you’ve talked to several doctors about it, is it possible you looked in a mirror at some point and became concerned enough that you got yourself thoroughly checked out by the medical community? Even if not, at least acknowledge that most of these people have no intent to be gratuitously hurtful, unintentionally rude as they might be. ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/36 "2003-07-04T21:40:59Z")
I completely understand the OP. I’m short and compact, weighing only 120 lbs. I can get up to 124 lbs. if I eat and eat and eat. Girlfriends have rejected me for being “like a waif”, not having masculine heft during sex, and getting blown across two states during heavy winds. In my business deals men snap jokes at me about my weight. Complete strangers have told me to eat something. My previous “overweight” girlfriends (my favorites) worried that I would snap like a twig if they humped me too hard. dnooman, Nichol\_storm did not criticize you or cause the pain in your life. Your anger is misplaced. I suggest that you direct your opinions towards someone who deserves it. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/37 "2003-07-04T22:51:01Z")
Thank you for this thread, **Nichol**. I am 5’9", 120 lbs. This is an achievement: when I started seeing a nutritionist, I was 110. I don’t see much difference between making fun of overweight or underweight people’s appearances (or short people, or tall people…). - I get strangers, waiters, and acquaintances criticizing what I order in a restaurant. Yes, I dared to order a buffalo chicken salad or a chicken caesar salad for lunch. OMG! Call the food police, it’s something called a “salad”. - I get comments that I am not healthy. Well gee, do you know I see a nutritionist who helps me plan meals and snacks to try to gain weight? No, of course you don’t. By the way, I can’t just eat arbitrarily…I am cursed with high cholesterol and a family history of heart attacks at a very young age. - I hear comments all the time about how my body type is so unattractive. No, my breasts are not big, but they’re good enough for my husband. Now people don’t say it about me directly anymore, but you can bet they did in middle school, high school. Doesn’t that sound very similar to the kind of comments overweight people get? Finally, I cannot express what it’s like to be told you are in denial about an eating disorder by someone you trust. I was once struggling with depression, and in a time of desperate need, I called a counselor out of the phone book. After my first two visits, when I began to get comfortable, everytime I saw this man, he ended our meetings with a 10 minute probe. “What are you eating? _I don’t believe you, you look like you’re starving yourself._” Can I tell you how traumatic that is? I stopped going, and got worse until I was pushed by a good friend to try again and trust a new counselor. Well screw you, Mr. Diagnoser. Guess what, I got better, and you’re still an incompetent counselor. **Boyo Jim** , yes, some people are doing it because they “care”. But most people close to me know that this is just the way I am and have been since I was a kid (they see me eating!). But many are sure being hurtful. Next time you hear a comment about Kate Moss or Calista Flockhart, see how “compassionate” they are being. Also, check at your local middle school for the compassion level of the students. Now, what do I have to do to get you to join _my_ love harem? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/38 "2003-07-04T23:03:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dnooman \* > \*\*Forgive me for being blunt. Get over yourself. You cannot possibly fathom the ostracization (sp?) that an overweight person undergoes on an HOURLY basis. > > … > How dare you lament about your “condition”, when people that are genetically predisposed to obesity are cursed to social exile?! \*\* Yeah, and what about people with AIDS who are about to die? Or who have gotten in serious car accidents and don’t have arms or legs anymore and are blind? How DARE you lament about ANYTHING AT ALL?? I mean there are people who have it so much worse than you! Oh wait, I forgot. It’s ok to have a problem with something even if it isn’t the Pinacle Of All Problems. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/39 "2003-07-04T23:09:36Z")
LilyoftheValley, As a designated love slave, I’ve been waiting on instructions from my mistress on how this deal works. I don’t think I can be love slave to two at once, unless you BOTH agree. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203/40 "2003-07-04T23:14:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\* Oh wait, I forgot. It’s ok to have a problem with something even if it isn’t the Pinacle Of All Problems. \*\* Oh, I dunno – I think you may be on to something here. It’ll certainly cut down on the complaining. We find the most miserable SOB in the world, say a starving, limbless Sudanese slave/refugee with leprosy and a shrew of a mother-in-law or something. We fly him to New York and at the UN have a ceremony. Kofi Annan can proclaim to the world, “Now this guy – this guy can complain! All youse other guys, kwityerbitching.” 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-im-not-anorexic-where-do-you-get-off-asking/186203.md?page=3)