# No Matter how you Shake and Dance (for the guys) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 13, 2010, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290 "2010-05-13T13:49:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/1 "2010-05-13T13:49:33Z")
My Fiance says guys don’t wipe and that it’s some kind of man thing, I think at least Some of you must, thusly, my first poll… ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/2 "2010-05-13T13:55:18Z")
Have you ever seen a guy piss? None of these options are applicable. When I’m done, I do nothing, but unlike what your poll option suggests, there are no drops afterwards to bother me. When I’m done pissing there’s no more piss. I would laugh relentlessly at any friend who admitted to wiping when he was done peeing (unless he had like a medical condition that caused dribbling or something…). In fact, I was amazed as a child when I learned that females have to wipe after urinating. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/3 "2010-05-13T13:57:41Z")
I just discovered last week that my brother wipes. I found this astounding - I had no idea there were people who did that. For me, it’s shake, shake, tuck. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/4 "2010-05-13T14:01:16Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I just discovered last week that my brother wipes. I found this astounding - I had no idea there were people who did that. > > For me, it’s shake, shake, tuck. This is the first case I’ve ever heard of. These mutants exist! ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/5 "2010-05-13T14:02:38Z")
This is not the first time that I have been referred to as a mutant. Some people have longer urinary tracts than others. Just sayin’ ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/6 "2010-05-13T14:03:46Z")
Shake it off and get back in the game. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/7 "2010-05-13T14:05:44Z")
Wring it out like a dish towel. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/8 "2010-05-13T14:06:18Z")
I actively avoid wiping. One experience with the paper getting wicked up into a place it shouldn’t go due to surface tension is enough! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/9 "2010-05-13T14:08:05Z")
_curls into fetal position quietly cursing **Ludo** _ ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/10 "2010-05-13T14:13:43Z")
My ex used to wipe. Nothing like getting horny and unzipping only to find pieces of toilet paper stuck to the rod of supposed power . . . ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/11 "2010-05-13T14:17:26Z")
Wipe? After peeing? Are you kidding me? You do realize there’s no toilet paper next to urinals, right? And there’s no paper in the woods. Seriously, wiping? Huh? I’d relentlessly mock any friend that admitted to wiping. Probably by asking if he sits down, too. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/12 "2010-05-13T15:07:25Z")
You should be asking the age of your respondents. Shake and pray. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/13 "2010-05-13T15:13:21Z")
Tap it once against each side and once against top and bottom and we’re good. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/14 "2010-05-13T15:17:44Z")
I voted “blot” but I have to qualify it with “only while wearing dress pants.” I can guarantee, the one time I’m all spiffed up for a job interview, I’m going to shake and get an extra drop where I don’t want to see it. Normally I just jump up and down and spin so Pinky the Monster is flung around enough for my satisfaction—sometimes I do this to music. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/15 "2010-05-13T15:23:58Z")
Some female comedian I heard once: “Ladies, you what guys do when they’re done? They shake it! WTF, guys? Get a mudflap for that thing!” ---
**Author:** ![Baracus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@Baracus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baracus)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/16 "2010-05-13T15:39:55Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > You should be asking the age of your respondents. > Shake and pray. True. Ten years ago, I could just zip up and be on my way. Now it isn’t a matter of the drops that can be seen but the urine lurking further up waiting to leak out the instant I get everything back in place. Wiping (if that was even an option) wouldn’t help at all anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/17 "2010-05-13T15:52:40Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > My ex used to wipe. Nothing like getting horny and unzipping only to find pieces of toilet paper stuck to the rod of supposed power . . . Did you actually see him wipe? I would propose that the tissue is the remains from wacking off, not wiping after pissing. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/18 "2010-05-13T15:56:17Z")
> [@Wilbo523](#): > > Did you actually see him wipe? I would propose that the tissue is the remains from wacking off, not wiping after pissing. Good call. It’s a shame so many people are embarrassed when it comes to masturbation. ---
**Author:** ![fubbleskag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fubbleskag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fubbleskag)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/19 "2010-05-13T16:06:56Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Good call. It’s a shame so many people are embarrassed when it comes to masturbation. I’m masturbating right now, actually. And I find the idea of a guy wiping about as ridiculous as the idea of not wiping your ass after you shit - and I know a few of these people. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/20 "2010-05-13T16:13:15Z")
> [@fubbleskag](#): > > I’m masturbating right now, actually. > > And I find the idea of a guy wiping about as ridiculous as the idea of not wiping your ass after you shit - and I know a few of these people. I laughed. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290.md?page=2)