# No Matter how you Shake and Dance (for the guys) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 13, 2010, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290 "2010-05-13T13:49:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/21 "2010-05-13T17:02:21Z")
A couple of jumping jacks and I’m good to go. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/22 "2010-05-13T20:02:52Z")
My ex used to blot, so I figured it was about half and half, consider ignorance fought! ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/23 "2010-05-13T21:29:28Z")
I suck it dry. Just kidding, I shake. Sometimes there are a few small driplets left over, but I pay them no mind. ---
**Author:** ![Lily\_Milliner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8edcca/32.png) [@Lily\_Milliner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lily_Milliner)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/24 "2010-05-13T22:54:11Z")
My son wipes, but that’s because he’s two and a half and really likes to pull the paper off the roll. When do you adult males think I should break it to him that this is not a manly thing to do? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/25 "2010-05-13T23:00:33Z")
36 is probably a good age. ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/26 "2010-05-13T23:45:08Z")
Why the hell. Ok, sometimes you can’t quite empty out the tubes, so that once you get it back in your pants it leaks out a bit. But none of the urine is actually on the surface of the penis, so wiping and blotting doesn’t do any good. It’s all internal. Why the hell would anyone wipe? This thread justifies the use of the following emoticon: 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/27 "2010-05-14T08:48:41Z")
It amazes me how many women don’t know this. I hope y’all at least know about shrinkage. ---
**Author:** ![Dereknocue67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@Dereknocue67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dereknocue67)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/28 "2010-05-14T08:53:36Z")
I prefer to have it blow dried. ---
**Author:** ![Tabby\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tabby\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabby_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/29 "2010-05-14T09:13:18Z")
I wipe sometimes, if there are stubborn pee droplets. Because, you know, shaking it vigorously just gets your pee droplets flung all over the bathroom. Ewww. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/30 "2010-05-14T09:20:05Z")
I do this thing where I suck in, which pushes the remaining urine out. It cleans out the hose, so to speak. And then I wait a few seconds. Shaking will just splatter it. Wiping seems superfluous, as nothing gets wet. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/31 "2010-05-14T11:32:24Z")
15 seconds in the microwave on medium and I’m good to go. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/32 "2010-05-14T11:50:18Z")
I squeeze out the last drops like the last bit of toothpaste left in the tube. Otherwise I’ll get a dozen steps from the toilet and get a warm tinkly surprise. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/33 "2010-05-14T13:03:17Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I do this thing where I suck in, which pushes the remaining urine out. It cleans out the hose, so to speak. And then I wait a few seconds. Shaking will just splatter it. Likewise, but I would classify any sort of penile gyration (internal or external) as “shaking”. ---
**Author:** ![In\_Winnipeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a8b319/32.png) [@In\_Winnipeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Winnipeg)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/34 "2010-05-14T15:02:20Z")
Shake, but remember, if you shake more than three times, _you’re jerking off_! Seems to me that it would also depend on if one is circumcized or not, wouldn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/35 "2010-05-14T15:05:36Z")
> [@In\_Winnipeg](#): > > Shake, but remember, if you shake more than three times, _you’re jerking off_! > > Seems to me that it would also depend on if one is circumcized or not, wouldn’t it? I don’t think so. Depending how much skin you have you’d probably just pull it back to piss anyway. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/36 "2010-05-14T15:17:21Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > It amazes me how many women don’t know this. > > I hope y’all at least know about shrinkage. There are a lot of guys to whom it comes as a surprise that women _do_ wipe. And you are referring to the effects of cold/cold water, right? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/37 "2010-05-14T15:25:13Z")
> [@In\_Winnipeg](#): > > Seems to me that it would also depend on if one is circumcized or not, wouldn’t it? Only if your foreskin covers the hole, which might make your aim a bit scattershot. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/38 "2010-05-14T16:16:27Z")
I crack it like a whip. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/39 "2010-05-14T16:23:04Z")
> [@SenorBeef](#): > > Ok, sometimes you can’t quite empty out the tubes, Tubes? Plural? Dude, if you’re not doing specialty porn, you’re in the wrong business. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290/40 "2010-05-14T16:39:05Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Tubes? Plural? > > Dude, if you’re not doing specialty porn, you’re in the wrong business. Boy do I have a video for you… Not sarcasm. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-matter-how-you-shake-and-dance-for-the-guys/539290.md?page=3)