# No means NO !
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [June 7, 2002, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771 "2002-06-07T01:42:03Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2002, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/21 "2002-06-07T14:19:37Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by wring \*
> \*\*“your lips say ‘no no no’, but your eyes, your **eyes** ”… \*\*
You have to say that with a Pepe le Pew accent.
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### Author:  [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2002, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/22 "2002-06-07T14:20:17Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TheLoadedDog \*
> \*\*The price we pay for voting in the wrong “alpha male” as chief BBQ attendant, I tells ya! \*\*
Personally, I think men need to get it into their heads that penis posession does not automatically equal BBQ prowess.
Why is this so hard for them to understand?
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### Author:  [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2002, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/23 "2002-06-07T15:28:12Z")
Of all the people I have encountered who have to be told “no” more than once in order to understand what it means, _telemarketers_ are by far the worst. I swear, when telemarketers are trained they must be hypnotized and are told while under hypnosis that the word “no” really means “Yes, please do tell me more about your wonderful product/service that I will certainly be buying just because you just happened to call me about it!” This seems to be their intepretation of the word “no” when they call me and, after ignoring their first 2 or 3 calls that actually register on my caller ID and decide to deal with them, I politely tell them the first time that I am not interested.
TM: “Hello, may I speak to dwc, please?” (I wish my last name were easier to mispronounce since I’d love to get them on this)
dwc: “Yes, this is he, may I ask who’s calling, please?”
TM: (starts introductory spiel)
dwc: “No thanks, I’m not interested.”
TM: “Let me ask for just a moment of your time and…”
dwc: (polite tone now removed) “I _said_ I’m not interested.”
TM: “Are you sure you don’t want to find out more about…”
At this point not only am I rude, but I am very hostile, swearing loudly and yelling insults into the phone and explaining that “no means no” period, end of story. I then hang up, hoping that I have done the telemarketer a favor by snapping him/her out of hypnosis and helping them to realize that the job they are working is not worth it.
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### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2002, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/24 "2002-06-07T22:09:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I’m sorry to those this annoys, but it’s my fundamentally unselfish character coming out - I’d rather someone else had it, since ultimately I’m not that bothered.
**Kabbes** , you know I love you to death, but I am going to have to disagree with you on this one: this behavoir is very, very selfish. It’s you assuming that some how you are responsible for making sure that everyone gets enough, or that the other person “really” wants to offer what they are offering. To me, it says that you don’t trust the person doing the offering to make an adult decision.
If, as hostess, I feel like a guest is privatly trying to gauge whether or not there is enough EZ-cheese to go around before taking any, I’m gonna feel insulted, not impressed by there selflessness.
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### Author:  [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2002, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/25 "2002-06-08T00:11:08Z")
I’ve gotta say, Manda JO, that was extremely well put. I don’t want to accuse anyone of false modesty or disingenuousness, but when people say “No” out of these intentions, it always struck me as some strange martyr-posture that they’ve gotten used to doing in social situations. Not unusual, maybe, with strangers, but with close friends? Weird.
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2002, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/26 "2002-06-08T04:30:11Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Manda JO \*
> \*\*If, as hostess, I feel like a guest is privatly trying to gauge whether or not there is enough EZ-cheese to go around before taking any, I’m gonna feel insulted, not impressed by there selflessness. \*\*
[hijack]
Is EZ-cheese like Squeeze-a-Snack? I haven’t been able to find Squeeze-a-Snack for YEARS!
[/hijack]
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### Author:  [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2002, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/27 "2002-06-08T13:19:33Z")
My standard answers in that situation are “I said no,” and if they insist again "What part of NO don’t you understand. The “N” or the “O”?
If the mouth says “no,” but they eyes say “yes,” ask yourself which part will testify in court.
If “yes” means “yes” and no means “maybe,” what means “no”?
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### Author:  [@Anemone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anemone)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2002, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/28 "2002-06-08T14:25:11Z")
I cannot stand this ritual at parties and during house visits…Unfortunately it’s almost unavoidable due to the fact that my relatives are Japanese and no is not no…unless you have stated it three times and even then you must accept the offered food/drink/gift to be polite. I am doing my best to combat how deeply it is ingrained in me to refuse-then-accept but sometimes I say no and practicaly (i)hear(/i) my grandmother’s dissaproving look. _sheepish grin_
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### Author:  [@LilCutie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilCutie)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2002, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/29 "2002-06-08T17:16:44Z")
I just wanted to say that I work retail at Gap, and I’m a hostesss at this restaurant O’Charley’s. At both places I have to sell things (Clothes and apetizers). I’m not that pushy. If someone says “no”, then I’m like “OK”. But at Gap that’s not allowed. I don’t make too good of a saleswoman, because I’ll walk up to a customer, ask if he/she needs help, or if they need me to find something for them, and when they say “no” I smile and walk away. However, when a manager is around, I get the look of evil and a talk on how to “push a sale”. It’s tough work. But I hate being pushy, because I hate being pushed.
Jenny\*
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### Author:  [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2002, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/30 "2002-06-08T17:45:18Z")
**LilCutie** , that’s exactly how I feel! I did a trial run at a clothing store where they practiced hard selling.
Them: Hi! Do you need any help?
Customer: No, I’m fine thanks.
Them: That skirt you’re wearing is so cute! We have a top that would go really well with it. Here, come with me.
Customer: Well, I really intended on just browsing …
Them: It won’t take a minute. Trust me, you’ll love this skirt. Oh, and this bag will look smashing with the outfit.
Customer: Thanks, but I’m not really interested.
etc.
:rolleyes:
And I just couldn’t do it. I hate getting hassled in stores - if I want to buy, I’ll buy. There are several places that I avoid (despite the scrumptious clothes) because the sales assistants are so damn pushy.
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### Author:  [@LilCutie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilCutie)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2002, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/31 "2002-06-08T17:52:19Z")
**Kayeby**
Yeah, I don’t do all of that. But sometimes salespeople do that because we are under pressure to make our daily goals. My manager will practically harrass you to get a credit card. It makes the customer uncomfortable, and I can’t do that. But sometimes I may offer again or something, if I’m being stared down. But I try to be low key and friendly without scaring the crap out of the customer.
Jenny\*
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### Author:  [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2002, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/32 "2002-06-08T22:07:36Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \*
> \*\*If “yes” means “yes” and no means “maybe,” what means “no”? \*\*
A swift kick in the groin?
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### Author:  [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2002, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/33 "2002-06-08T22:49:50Z")
I hate when people ask “are you sure?”
The other day, a woman I work with kept asking me over and over again if it was alright if she used my water (we work with aquatic animals and I had a tank full of salt water). And over and over again, I kept saying yes, yes YES!
“Are you sure?” she asks finally.
Argh! I felt like screaming, “You are ANNOYING THE HELL OUT OF ME, WOMAN!!!”
But how can you be mad at someone who’s being nice to you?
When someone turns down an offer I’m making, I leave it at that and move on. For mature folks, “no” means “no”. Asking “are you sure?” reduces someone to the level of a child. “Are you sure you don’t have to go pee pee? Are you SURE?”
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### Author:  [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)
#### Post date: [June 9, 2002, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/34 "2002-06-09T02:24:25Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Silentgoldfish \*
> \*\*I can guarantee you you haven’t experianced the most annoying person at this unless you’ve met my brother. Telling him no for anything usually means you have to repeat no 10 or 11 times. (Please? Come on… It’s only…)
>
> \*\*
I take it you don’t have children? I was saying no about a dozen times to my children when they begged for something, getting more and more angry because they didn’t believe me when I said, “No, for the fourteenth time, you cannot have a popsicle right now because I’m dishing up dinner even as we speak!” until I learned a little trick.
Say no. Then when they ask again, give them The Stare. A penetrating look, no smiling. Don’t say anything. Then they take it seriously. Maybe this will work with the pushy salespeople and hostesses.
As for telemarketers, a simple “No thank you” and a hang up does the trick for me. I do not waste time arguing with them.
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### Author:  [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)
#### Post date: [June 11, 2002, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/35 "2002-06-11T16:52:23Z")
Actually **Manda** , I think that in many ways you’re absolutely right actually. But the habit of a lifetime is a hard one to break. And whether the effect is selfish or unselfish, I really _don’t_ want if it means that someone else has to go without.
But yes - I don’t have responsibility for everybody else. I’ll say it three times and click my heels - who knows what good may come?
pan
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### Author:  [@bare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bare)
#### Post date: [June 11, 2002, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/36 "2002-06-11T22:07:32Z")
I can’t believe in a thread this long, nobody came up with the perfect answer to stop any future offers:
On the second offer, simply say, “Oh alright, if you insist ::taking one and setting it aside for later:: I hope you don’t mind if I take some home for my dog.” ::taking the entire plate out of your hosts hand:: Do you have any plastic wrap?
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### Author:  [@Psycho\_Pirate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psycho_Pirate)
#### Post date: [June 12, 2002, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/37 "2002-06-12T13:42:08Z")
[shameless plug]
This isn’t a thread about They Might Be Giant’s new album? The album “NO!”? Now available in all quality music stores (and Best Buy)? I guess I’ll leave then.
[/shameless plug]
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### Author:  [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)
#### Post date: [June 12, 2002, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/38 "2002-06-12T14:48:46Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \*
> [hijack]
> Is EZ-cheese like Squeeze-a-Snack? I haven’t been able to find Squeeze-a-Snack for YEARS!
> [/hijack]
What’s Squeeze-a-Snack? EZ-cheese, well, take processed cheese spread (Velveeta-ish) and put it in a mousse can dispenser. Squirt onto crackers as needed.
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### Author:  [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)
#### Post date: [June 12, 2002, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/39 "2002-06-12T22:59:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Psycho Pirate \*
> \*\*[shameless plug]
> This isn’t a thread about They Might Be Giant’s new album? The album “NO!”? Now available in all quality music stores (and Best Buy)? I guess I’ll leave then.
> [/shameless plug] \*\*
It’s only a shameless plug if you might be a giant, otherwise it’s just a plug. Might you be a giant?
I’ll buy it next Thursday. I only have Flood right now.
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### Author:  [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2002, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-no/112771/40 "2002-06-13T00:28:13Z")
I want a nibbly ☹
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